When I was a youth leader, one of the girls in our group was in puppy love with a boy she had met. She invited him to our group one night and for most of the evening, she was mostly involved with him. We ended up actually separating the two of them; they were getting so familiar with each other. She later commented to a friend in the group, “We’re already so close it’s like we’re practically married. We don’t need a church ceremony”

Those naïve words came back to haunt me when I read the following quote of Cameron Diaz.

I think that people find people and need people, but I just don't think it's absolutely necessary to walk down an aisle in a white dress and sign a piece of paper. For me, it's spiritual. It's about whether two people have that commitment to one another.

That kind of stuff makes my skin crawl. According to Culture Clips, she was “offering her explanation for why she and her boyfriend of four-plus years, Justin Timberlake, have no intention of marrying in the near future.”

I will agree that within the boundaries of Hollywood, marriage is a nearly-meaningless institution. No longer “till death do us part,” Hollywood’s version could be amended to “till possible languishing of career do us part.” Sure, there are some long-term Hollywood marriages, but few of these are the first go around for both members of the couple. Still, I will take these long-lasting marriages instead of the two-year flings that seem all too common. Movie shoots have lasted longer.

On the other hand, I have to wonder if this actress is in touch with anyone normal. What did she mean, “it’s spiritual”? For most people outside the Hollywood elite, that phrase holds little meaning. Does she mean it’s like two ghosts? Is she drawing comparisons with early Negro spirituals? What does she mean? I don’t know. I would posit that Cameron Diaz doesn’t know either.

A wedding may be an abstraction to Cameron Diaz, but to a father like me, having your daughter walk down the aisle in a white dress is an honor. My parents tell me that there was a time when a bride wearing a white dress meant something. And the piece of paper that I signed thirteen years ago is the most important piece of paper I ever put my name to. I would imagine that the most important piece of paper for Cameron Diaz is a contract, or some other piece of paper that’s esteemed much more highly than marriage in Hollywood.

When a man and his beloved take the vows, it’s in a church or other setting with at least two witnesses. The idea behind a wedding is to gather together every one you know not just to celebrate your commitment to your spouse, but to hold you accountable to the vows you took. I think I understand why marriage isn’t so popular in Hollywood. Nothing could be more un-cool in Hollywood than accountability. What the girl from my youth group those years ago was missing, and what Ms. Diaz apparently fails to understand, is that a public commitment in the sight of God and man is a meaningful oath. Only a snake and a cad would try to convince a lady otherwise, and only a naïve little girl would believe him.

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