I think one of most serious mistakes people can make is to assume that there is only one way to act. For example, they would say that in order to be peaceful, you should shun conflict, or to be loving you must never respond with anger. It's a viewpoint that assigns moral values to specific emotions. Believe me, there are people out there that think in these terms. They are the ones who believe that all wars are unjust, or that boys should shun their aggressive tendencies or that a family that is fighting has something dreadfully wrong with it.

It's a system that shuns the wisdom of Ecclesiastes,

TO EVERYTHING there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven:

A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted,

A time to kill and a time to heal, a time to break down and a time to build up,

A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,

A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

A time to get and a time to lose, a time to keep and a time to cast away,

A time to rend and a time to sew, a time to keep silence and a time to speak,

A time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

We can no more prevent these things from passing through our lives than we can stop time itself. I have seen all of these things in my 30-plus years. It's not an epitaph, just a reckoning. I had some time last night with a family whose eldest daughter has irrevocably changed her life and theirs with her poor choices. They "did everything right," yet they see and feel this heartache every morning. It's a sober reminder to me that, despite all you do, things can still go wrong and that having a child puts your heart at risk.

For the past two years, I have not been able to work full time. It has certainly been "a time to lose." Yet these last two years have been incredibly rich for me. How can I explain or predict this but to realize that God still has His hand on my life and, if anything, His grip on me is increasing. I'm unable to mow my lawn, yet my need has forced closer relations with others to mow for me. I cannot walk to the park, but my time in the pool to strengthen me has forged a deeper relationship with my son than I could get from time on any playground. Am I okay with this? Sha-way! I'd trade a credit rating for my kids' love and benefit anyday.

So, God, I'm learning. Thank you for letting me experience this. Lead on.

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