I'm getting ready for CHEC for the next three days, but before I get so motivated my socks pop off, I want to nail something down first.

Todd Wilson is a wonderful dad and support to homeschoolers everywhere. I've pushed him on this blog many times. Today he sent out a Familyman e-mail to his list. A key portion says,

As I talked with [a group of dads] about their teenagers who were giving them fits, their wives who didn’t seem to think like them, and the deceptively deadly pull of success that beckons to them everyday, I saw tiredness in their eyes and heard emotion in their voices.

I listened to them and nodded in understanding until they finished. Then in a gentle but firm voice I said, “Man, I know exactly how you feel, but...you ‘da dad. You may feel like giving up, but your family is counting on you. You can’t give up on them. Get back in there, because although they may say harsh things...they still need you.”

They sighed, stiffened their chins in determination, and nodded in agreement. “You’re right, Todd,” they said. “Thanks for the reminder.” And then they walked away, ready to give it another shot.

Normally, I can't shut up about how good Todd is, but this time, I think he's missed the mark.

While Christ helps us be better fathers, the goal of Christianity is not to be the best parent in the world. We can't soldier on endlessly like thirsty men looking for an oasis. There comes a time when you can't take that next step, when you can't be the father you are called to be. What happens then?

The old saying goes, "God never gives us more than we can handle." I've even said it, like recently. But it's wrong! If it were true, how would we ever turn to God for help? He should--and does--give us more than we can handle. We need to find the end of ourselves so that God can be our ultimate source. We need the oasis to come to us, to offer us hope and aid in our fight. God must be that source. Our wives and families can't provide what we need. Our other relationships can't help either. The one place we can go is the one place we must go. We have a spirit of sonsWhile Christ helps us be better fathers, the goal of Christianity is not to be the best parent in the world. We can't soldier on endlessly like thirsty men looking for an oasis. There comes a time when you can't take that next step, when you can't be the father you are called to be. What happens then?hip by which we cry "Abba! Father! Daddy!"

How much of American Christianity is infused with the Invictus Success Syndrome? It's the version of Christianity that shows up in 30-minute, pyramid-shaped infomercials on some cable channel late at night. It's the one where you try harder and pursue success as an American dad. You are the captain of the ship and if you're exhausted and not successful, you're doing something wrong. I'm sorry, Todd, but how many men left that meeting nodding their heads at the failures they feel they've become?

Why not let God define what a successful father looks like? Instead of soldiering on, we should surrender all to His vision for us. Instead of getting back in there, we need to get back to Abba and let Him love us so that we can love them. By reaching out to the Father, we find that He is there supporting us, giving us what we need, so we can give them what they need. When we are confronted by the things we can't control, like the hearts and minds of our children, we need to know that God's grace is sufficient for us, because His power is made perfect in our weakness.

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