Posted in Fatherhood
Todays just another day of being a dad. Sure, people will be listening to The Familyman on Focus on the Family today and tomorrow, but do you think my kids care? I dont think so.
I even heard my wife trying to build me up in front of some of the younger kids a few minutes ago by saying, Now, Daddys going to be on the radio today...
Ikes (6) answer can be boiled down into, So.
Apparently he doesnt get it. He doesnt see hear how witty and wise I can be on the radio. Hes more concerned about me going to Dollar General today to buy him some long balloons so he can tie them into knotted animals or having a family night soon where we eat pizza and watch a video.
My older kids are a little kinder to their old dad, but they dont really care either. They try to say nice things like, Thats neat dad, but theyd rather spend their time telling me about something thats important to them.
Why do I kid myself? The truth is they just dont care about what I do as The Familyman.
Theyre not impressed by emails that show appreciation for their dad, the number of listeners, or the ruggedly handsome picture of their dad standing next to a Christian legend.
They dont care. They DONT CARE!!!
What they care about is my involvement in their lives. They want me to listen to them describe the books theyre reading, care about building a sword for their friend, and give my input as they set up a miniature plastic house, home to some miniature cats.
Want a real shocker? Thats what your children care about too.
They dont care squat about the title you hold, how many employees report to you, the importance of what you do at work, impressive people you might rub shoulders with, or big meetings that you attend. They only care about you and the time you spend with them.
Im OK with that. And you should be too.
After all, were dads, and thats what dads do (that rhymes).
So, I think Ill go upstairs and enjoy a bowl of cereal with my kids as the rest of the world listens to The Familyman. Ill take care of the important stuff and let the other stuff take care of itself.
As for you, Dad, enjoy being a dad today.
You da dad,
Todd
How many hours as have we as men imagined being in the position where our achievements are recognized, our insights valued, or our help rewarded? Yet we're so often disappointed when even our own family members don't show an interest. The fact is, they're living by a different values system. They don't live and die by what your company's CEO says, or what your supervisor does, or whether your review went well enough to get a raise or keep your job. Your performance in these areas doesn't really count.
Their thoughts focus on what you think of them. They may not obsess about it consciously, but many acts have been accomplished in this world so that "my dad would be proud of me." They want to know, dad, whether you think they're smart or beautiful or brave or funny. They don't worry about your approval rating at work. They worry about your approval rating of them.
Imagine working on a project for hours, one that you took on your own initiative, one that you designed and put together after careful thought. You complete your work and then wait for the right moment to take it to your supervisor and lay it out for him. You hope he likes it. You hope he sees how good your work is. But your boss is preoccupied with something else and he dismisses you with a "oh...nice job..." or worse, he dismisses you period.
My son loves K'nex. Other boys are Lego-maniacs. Not my son. He loves to build swords, helicopters, and guns out of plastic pieces that are the shape of drinking straws. A few months ago, he came up to me, anxious to show me what he'd built. I was working on something and he was distracting me. Even though I didn't exactly brush him off, I could tell that his heart sank when I didn't react with enthusiasm. He didn't bother showing me anything else he built that week until I deliberately sought him out and asked him about his K'nex. I got some of his parts and started building with him. Immediately, he began to explore with me how we could change something here and move something there. His enthusiasm and excitement was palpable.
Spending 15 minutes putting together some plastic pieces told my son that I was paying attention to him, that I approved of his ingenuity so much that I wanted to participate with him. My sincere approval and acceptance was all he really wanted. He didn't care if I'd sunk the company that day or saved it. It really didn't matter.
Maybe, in the end, my job shouldn't really matter all that much to me either. I was laid off in September. I stopped being an "IT geek" that day. I never stopped being a dad. Thank God! And thank you, FamilyMan, for such a great reminder!
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