One of the first things you realize when you're working in a ministry is that it is not always such a great job. My pastor and mentor told me ten years ago, "I was surprised to see how little of the job was preaching and how much of it was 'kicking the copier'." Pastors and other ministry professionals are weighed down with a surprising amount of administrative junk that is, at best, indirectly related to their work of drawing people into the kingdom.

Combine this with the weight of other people's expectations of you, managing finances, and allowing people into your life who will inevitably hurt you, and the job quickly loses its appeal. Even people who have trained in seminary or gotten other four- and six-year degrees and invested all that time and money can find themselves sweeping up at McDonalds in a few short years because of how easy it is to burn out in ministry. You obviously have to be called to work in ministry. You need something else to stay in ministry.

In Revelation 2, Jesus is speaking to the Ephesians. He says, "I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance...You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love." (NIV) It is possible to do all sorts of wonderful things for God and still lose sight of your first love. Yet that first love was why you became a Christian. It was the freshness and excitement you felt whenever someone mentioned Jesus' name. It was what moved you to tears when you considered what He did for you on the cross.

Yet somewhere in the Easter pageant, the songs, the janitorial duties, and the meetings, that love cools from a fire to an ember. Getting organized and the ability to handle the workload somehow takes more importance than spending time with the One who loves you so much. Eventually, a pastor falls into the national average of his peers in ministry, spending 15 minutes or less per week reading the Bible for personal investment. No wonder our pastors are burning out!

I am just as guilty as the next person when it comes to this. I don't seek Him and personally connect with Him as often as I need to. Please notice that I didn't say "as often as I should." I don't have a set amount of time that I "should" spend with God. But I do know that I have a need to connect with God regularly on some level that's deeper than need-meeting and request-giving.

I need to know that I am loved. I need to know that He cares for me. I need to feel the power, the pulse, the breath of my Savior. I need to feel His power flowing through me to love others with the love He gave to me. I need to drive deep into the ground, this parched, barren, dusty, rocky soil and rupture the waters that have long since slipped away! This is what He meant when the kingdom of heaven suffers violence and the violent take it by force. If you don't seek it, desire it, and covet it, if you don't seize the relationship, the loving, passionate relationship with the Father, you will never know Who He is or what is really possible in this life.

I have tasted the waters. I know the life of which the Bible speaks. It is inside me and even when death takes my body, it will be just a shell, a tent that it can grasp. I will live on in His kingdom and I will drink from the river of life and receive healing from the Tree of Life.

GOD! Can you hear me? I will never stop loving You! Even when my head pounds, even when the mortgage is due and I have nothing in the bank, even when my children are sick and in danger, even if all this is taken away...I will never stop loving You. I am consumed with You. You loved me when I was nothing. You loved me when I was guilty. You still loved me. I didn't deserve anything, and You loved me. You lavished me with love and grace and forgiveness. What can I give that would equal this love? What would I possibly obtain that could add to this?

I am sorry if this sort of thing makes you feel uncomfortable, but I am sick of the creeping death that seems to choke the life out of our relationships with the Father. The only way to beat back this infestation is to drive deep and seek out the passion that fueled our first love. That first love is bound up in the wounds and blood spilled for us. Why was the enemy so riled about Mel Gibson's The Passion? Because it was the graphic portrayal of what one Man suffered because of God's mighty passion for us. It was the ugliness of sin and the price of our redemption shown in unfiltered, graphic violence. It is what should fuel the love of every Christian out there.

It is why we live. It is why we love. It is why we lose our lives in the hope of finding life again. It is why we are driven back to the opportunities to love and bless others. It is why we become ministers of the Gospel.

Connect with God. Know His heart for you. Embrace the passionate love. Drive deep and anchor yourself in the love that He wants to bless you with. Let it fall like rain on your soul. Don't think it's silly or sentimental. You were made for this. This is why He created you. What is the chief end of man?  Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy Him for ever. We have a need for this. You have a need for this. Don't let today go by without connecting with Him. Seek Him while He can be found. Ask. Seek. Knock. You will not be disappointed!
 

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