I love living in Colorado. It is a wonderful state to live in. Vacationing is easy. Just pull into your own driveway, take the phone off the hook, put up a tent in the yard and technically, you're camping. Seriously, though, we have trouble taking a vacation to a place that's too close by. Driving thirty minutes to camp or stay in a hotel feels a little weird. So, folks in Denver like to think they'll retire to Colorado Springs. Colorado Springs folks think about retiring to Buena Vista or Leadville. I'm not sure where the folks from Leadville will retire to, but with the winters up there, I bet it will be someplace warmer or even tropical.
In honor of the start of summer break and the commencing of vacations, I thought I'd put up a list of things tourists have said while visiting Colorado or that people have asked Coloradoans when they defy reason and leave the state.
What time of year/At what altiitude do the deer turn into elk?
Where do you put the moguls in the summer?
You don't ski? I thought everyone in Colorado skied! (also applies to wearing cowboy hats)
Y'all got paved roads in Colorado? (not yet, but Woodrow Wilson mentioned we'd get some soon)
Do you own a horse?
Do you ski to school? (also applies to sled dogs)
Where do Rocky Mountain Oysters come from? Is there a lot of water in Colorado?
Do you need oxygen tanks to live there?
You live in an igloo right? (Bonus: How do you walk around your house without slipping?)
So what's South Park like? (Tell them Casa Bonita is real and they won't believe you.)
Why don't trees grow on top of your mountains?
The photo at right is from the top of Mt. Evans west of Denver. It's a bit of a read, but the details are riveting, especially when you count the screws used to mount the sign. There's a reason they did that.
For those who want to look more like a local or who really want to know what the answers are, I've put them down below.
Deer and elk look similar, with antlers, snouts and four hooves, but trust me, they are two very different species. Elk tastes better, in my opinion.
Moguls are turned inside out, shaken hard, and put on a plane from Aspen back to L.A. ...Wait, that's movie moguls. Ski moguls are mounds of snow that are created by skiers as they carve down the slopes.
Although I haven't seen a survey of state residents and skiing, I'll speculate that a surprising percentage of residents do not ski, and fewer still are those who have skied in the last three years. There are a lot of reasons for this, but lift tickets are horribly expensive, I-70 is terribly crowded, and we keep thinking we'll go next year.
Duh. These are likely the same people that ask if we ride horses everywhere or if we still fight Indians, both of which questions showed up on a "dumb questions" page online as legitimate, documentable inquiries.
See explanation 4 above. No, we do not, although it's practically required for someone to live in Golden. Do I have a cowboy hat and boots? Ain't tellin'.
See explanation 3 above. Skiing to school is not practical unless you live at the top of a mountain, and then you've got other problems, like lightning, wind, and a dog that refuses to go outside in either, remembering that the last time it did, it nearly died. If you tried to ski to school (without the aid of a snowmobile or truck known as skijoring), you'd have to cross-country ski, and then we'd accuse you of losing your mind.
No, there is not a lot of water in Colorado, which is why we have lawyers who litigate exclusively over water rights. The lack of an ocean and the lack of a local delicacy prompted a joke that's groin--er, grown into a novelty dish. I will not mention the ingredients, but you can read more about Rocky Mountain oysters here.
Contrary to all the press our altitude receives, people from below 2,000 feet ASL who take it easy the first 24 hours or so can acclimate fairly well if they drink plenty of water. People who don't are soon usually flat on their backs complaining about the lack of oxygen. That's when we bring them a tank and tell them not to drink alcohol while they're here. We breathe just like they do, only better.
Another Duh. Although, we have winter festivals with snow carving and such. How do we keep from slipping? Seal skin.
South Park is a big, empty broad expanse of Kansas that we imported to break up the monotony of all those mountains. There is no town called South Park, unless you count Fairplay's effort to capitalize on the show's popularity. It is brown (or white) and mostly treeless. Antelope do play, but mostly they just stand around, gawking at the tourists.
Above 11,200 feet or so, trees do not grow in Colorado. This is called timberline. It is too cold, snowy, dry and dark for trees to grow above that threshold. Alpine tundra is beautiful and has small wildflowers that manage to thrive in that climate, including my favorite, the Columbine.
Like I said, I love Colorado. I plan to live here the rest of my life. I've seen nearly everything in the state, so if you're coming to Colorado, give me a shout and I'll pass along what I know.
Folks, I need to request prayer. Tuesday night, I came down with a stomach virus that has tripped every Fibromyalgia 'hard point" in my body. Normally, I deal with one or two or three. This is all of them at once (12!), and I can safely say that I have never felt worse. It has not let up, except for the nausea, which mercifully ended today about noon.
know that this is a bit of a break, but I need to post about my latest favorite movie. It isn't Spartacus. It isn't Gladiator. It isn't even Braveheart, although I love that one. No, it's... Wall-E. I can hear the "What?!" from here. Yes, Wall-E. Why would I pick this movie? I guess it's because it's a great film and I can deeply relate to it.
Wall-E is someone who soldiers on in an incredible task, even when the work couldn't possibly be done by him. Perhaps he goes by faith that it will all be worth it, or maybe he just finds pleasure in doing a job. I understand both. He replaces his worn out parts, much like I want to, in order to keep going. He finds comfort in the little idiosyncrasies and odd little interests in life.
Then, the woman of his dreams shows up, and he's smitten. I'm still smitten, even after 16 years. He lets her into his life and he loves her, taking risks for her, even if there's no gain for him, although I've found the opposite. Later, he finds more purpose in her "Directive" than he even finds in his own survival. He values Ev-ah's mission that ultimately gives people a glimpse of what life can be (the plant). Like the captain says, "I don't want to survive. I want to live!" I want people to find life in Christ, and that is worth facing my own demise.
That and flying through space with a fire extinguisher looks pretty cool too.
I may be looking at an ocean when the world sees a pond, but I get a lot out of this kids movie because I'm still a kid in so many ways.
I know. I know I haven't published anything in close to 10 days (10!) but I've been writing--oh, I've been writing! In my mind, more than anything, actually, because I can't sit at the keys. Something about this weather lately has been kicking me back and forth from the bed to the bathroom to the den, right past the keys, and straight underneath warm blankets that smell of Tiger Balm, Ben Gay and Green Tea, much like I do, I'm afraid.
I have been reading Tolkien again, and like a chameleon, I take on the voice of the author in my thoughts and my writing. Terrible thing, really. Talking in half sentences like this. Dangling participles over capricious phrases, writing like this can be a chore.
Why am I reading Tolkien? Well, I made the kids a promise. Sarah (12) and Bubba (9) are approaching the age where their peers are asking them "You haven't seen The Lord of the Rings?" Like they're asking them if they still suck their thumbs. So, I turned to them one evening and told them, "If you can read through the books, you're ready to watch the movies." Ha! I thought, This will be fun. Bubba will bog down in the Council of Elrond. Everyone does. He'll get discouraged and pick it up again when he's ready.
He's on page 210 of the Two Towers, far outpacing his sister! Aigh!
As a result, we just watched the first hour of the Special, Extended, Super-Colossal, And-You-Thought-The-Books-Were-Long Edition DVD of the Fellowship of the Ring. They are eating it up! And this even after I showed them the long segments on Tolkien and how they adapted the book to the movie, which are really helpful for people who read the books. It seems they're the ones that get steamed about Tom Bombadil only showing up on milk cartons--"Have you seen me?"--on Hobbit first-breakfast tables.
Anyway, I've been writing. I have an open letter to my son that I plan to put up soon, if I can get around to editing it. It's all about relationships, but I won't tip my hand too much. I also have something about skiing, but I don't want to drag anyone through that's not willing, so I'll give fair warning in the title. Nothing like getting snow in you keyboard from an errant skier.
So I'll close with a quick observation in a field I am mostly inexperienced at analyzing, politics. Never has our fair Republic been in greater danger of falling to the wolves. The center of political power in America, Congress has already purchased--ipso facto--the banks of our nation with their bailout. They are now calling their erstwhile managers to account for the money. Does anyone else think this a little... well, what's the word... incredible? Here we have an entity so incapable of fiscal responsibility, it took them years to discover that the House checking accounts were a little overdrawn. There's only one thing worse than Congress ousting the Golden Circle of Bank Presidents and their cadre, and that is Congress letting them stay in power. So where's the danger? If things get worse under a liberal President and a liberal Congress, the state of our societal morals tells me that we will have a French Revolution, not an American one, looking us straight in the eyes.
Small-time Observation: The thing about history is that you have so many years to think about other people's mistakes and the thing about the present is that you have so little time to fix your own.
My blog suffers each time I am under a deadline and this was no exception. Come to think of it, my body suffers any time I am under stress. Yesterday, I slept 15 hours because the piece I was working on was finally completed and submitted the day before. Ah the wonderful world of Fibromyalgia!
As it was, I woke up just in time for a date with my wife. Any time you can't remember your last date, it's a sign you need another one. Last night, we went out to the Outback Steakhouse, courtesy a friend's generosity, for what is the ideal meal to me. Start out with warm, fresh bread with butter. Follow with a caesar salad and then a center-cut sirloin seared to medium-rare perfection along with a loaded jacket potato. Such is my favorite meal. We talked, held hands over the table, and meaningfully discussed life together. Then dessert arrived.
Every restaurant dessert requires an excuse. Paying $5 for dressed up ice cream is hard to justify otherwise. In this case, my birthday was the excuse and I decided to go big. The Outback's "Chocolate Chocolate Tower" is every chocolate lover's dream. Imagine thin layers of chocolate cake separated by the richest chocolate frosting known to man. I can't say it was fudge because that suggests something unlike what it was. I remember a Bavarian chocolate torte and this was the closest approximation. Good grief, it was so good! As a part of my weight loss regimen, I do not gorge anymore, but this was worth breaking that rule. If you want chocolate cake for your birthday, baby, that's the one!
I waddled to the car after that. I couldn't complete the feat and finish it. That's another part of my weight loss plan. Food left on the plate is a good thing, not something to feel wasteful about. Compulsive cleaning of the plate is just that, compulsive. I will not be mastered by anything, as Paul said.
Am I on a diet? Not really. Diet implies that I'll go back to old habits after a while. I can't afford that. I need to lose a lot of weight over time and then keep it off. This is the new way I eat and I plan to keep it that way. I will not order dessert in the future... unless I have an excuse.
My best friend in Canada sent me an article on the "what were they thinking?" variety of cars in the last few decades (don't look for the Edsel). On the short list: The Pontiac Aztek, the Buick Roadmaster, and the Suzuki X-90. Sadly, one of my favorites made the list as well. The Subaru Baja was a victim of a 4 cyl. engine and insufficient seating in back. Still, it looked okay and you had the look of driving a truck (a very low one) without being asked on a weekly basis to help someone move.
Yesterday evening, Steven Curtis Chapman and his family lost their 5 year-old daughter, Maria Sue. She was struck and killed by a car driven by one of their older children. Apparently, the teen did not see the child.
I have not lost a child, but I have lost a few friends and walked with other friends through deep grief. I don't know all there is to know about grief, nor do I have letters after my name giving me any more authority than anyone else on the subject. Yet, I have some advice for those people encountering a tragedy like this.
On Grief
Grief is not understood by most people here in America. I'm speaking of both the emotion and the people suffering from it. People don't understand it. No one wants to experience it or be around those who do, mostly because there's not much that can be done for it. That's not to say that people don't try, mind you, but nothing much can be done to help alleviate grief.
Grief is its own emotion, if not its own state of mind based on a reaction to loss. It is not just a form of severe sadness or deep depression, although both of those can result from grief. Instead, it is a profound sense of loss that overwhelms a person, affecting all facets of their life. There are not only emotional effects, but physical, psychological, and spiritual effects that ripple through the bereaved person.
Grief is not a gradual progression of steps. It's not orderly or even rational. It's a very messy, disorganized and distressing experience for those going through it. I have found myself brooding one moment, laughing in the next moment and in tears a minute or two later. It is a very rough ride, similar to riding a bull. You don't know which way you're going next, only that you feel the surge of the emotion and the power of it overrides everything else.
Tread Lightly
This "bull riding" experience is obviously very distressing, both to the person experiencing the grief and to those surrounding the person. There is a natural tendency to react to the ups-and-downs and twists-and-turns of the experience. What comes out of our mouths at these times is anything but predictable. Noone can weather such an experience with a "perfect rating." Mistakes, miscommunications, inappropriate remarks and the like are going to happen, unfortunately. However, I do have some tips on how to minimize them and tread lightly on people's hearts and minds.
Avoid attempts to normalize the experience. This is the first mistake with grief. Every grief encountered is as different as the people who experience them. Comparisons between a person's grief and another loss encountered by them or someone else is a fruitless and harmful exercise. Statements that begin with, "When your father died..." or "When I lost my..." should be treated with extreme caution. A poorly-delivered or poorly-conceived thought along these lines stings and invites a strong rebuke.
Avoid attempts to re-interpret the grief. Putting a spin on things may work in the news media but it is a fools notion to apply it to a loss. For bereaved parents, referring to a child as their "dear little angel now singing in heaven" can be disasterous, not to mention an error in most people's theology. Other words of consolation about what they still have--a spouse or a child, for example--are not helpful. They may even serve to remind a person of what they still can lose. Words of consolation should be short, brief and sincere. Statements like "I'm so sorry for your loss," or "I will be praying for you and your family," are sufficient.
Making An Offer
Often those on the outside wish there was something they could do, but offers of help should be genuine and appropriate. As innocent as the offer may seem, a friend of the opposite sex saying "call me anytime," could be poorly interpreted by anyone.
An offer of help should be tailored to the person's situation and your relative closeness to them. A practical offer aimed at making life easier, like offering and then delivering a meal in a few days, is usually helpful. An offer never made is better than one never fulfilled.
On Loss and Time
Though I'm focusing on the loss of a child, losses take all forms, and not just in death. Loss of a job, a home, a friendship, and a marriage all have unique and powerful aspects I couldn't begin to speak to. Even though I'm disabled, I have lost abilities over time and couldn't begin to fathom the grief of someone who lost abilities in a sudden accident.
Just as losses vary, so does the time and extent of a person's recovery. A parent may never "get over" losing their child, and any expectation put on them to "move on" is unfair and calloused. Even if a recovery may seem complete, the effects may linger. A few days ago, I watched a movie in which a little girl died in a car accident. I thought I would be fine with it, but as soon as the image of the dead child hit the screen, I was back in the ER looking over a friend's daughter when she had just died. I couldn't handle my reaction and I got physically sick over it. It's something I had to process and deal with the rest of that evening. I may be more sensitive than others on this, but that's just it: each person varies in their reaction and recovery. You don't really know if you've healed until you're confronted with some trigger moment, a memory, an image or even a sound. Give yourself the grace to face the grief again and mourn the loss anew. It's something your human heart just has to do.
Last Thoughts
It takes a great deal of sensitivity and courage for anyone to reach out to someone bereaved over a loss. That cannot be overstated. It is not widely recognized as a brave thing, but those who do can save a heart, if not save a life. Acts of heroism, large and small, are possible in the face of grief and sooner or later, we'll all have the opportunity.
My heart goes out to the Chapman family. It is a sudden shock to a family that I understand to be closely knit. The pain they are feeling must be profound. My prayers are for them and for the grieving parents out there who have lost their children. No parent should have to bury their children. May God give them peace that passes understanding and reaches their hearts in one of their darkest and most distressing time.
. I can hear the "What?!" from here. Yes, Wall-E. Why would I pick this movie? I guess it's because it's a great film and I can deeply relate to it.
Why don't trees grow on top of your mountains?
