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So....here we are.  Just weeks to go until school begins.  Have you started back yet?  We're in a difficult season here.  First, with the pregnancy -- we found out yesterday that we're having a baby boy but that he has a cyst on the brain.  While we are comforted by the doctor's words that this is common and not life-threatening, it's still something no parent wants to hear.  There is also a 1% chance that this cyst could indicate that he has a fatal form of down's syndrome.  We rest, as always, in God's sovereignty.  Also, because we've had one premature delivery, they want me to have a special type of scan to monitor for changes that might indicate labor is coming on -- that means every other week, I have to not only get a sitter for my 4 children but I also have to drive the 25 minutes each way to and from the hospital.  That, coupled with the beginning of soccer season and the not-so-great gas prices has left us in a financial crunch, too.  Again, we rest in God's sovereignty.  I, however, struggle with worrying over where the additional money is going to come from.  It looks like we'll have to drop out of one of the co-ops we attend because we will not have the finances to do so.  I'm working on a way to tell Nathan because he was looking forward to taking his art class.  Pray for an increase in my faith and for the healthy and well-being of our baby boy.  On a lighter note -- my Mom is here to visit!  She's now lovingly referring to our only daughter as "a rose among the thorns"!! 

You really wouldn't think so much would go on from day to day, would you?  Maybe my expectations are just too low....who knows!  Anyway, things are absolutely crazy around here -- not the drive-you-insane kinda crazy.  Just busy, busy, busy, and if you know me and my lazy nature (coupled with being pregnant), there are some days where I don't cope well. 

Today, we're having insulation blown into our walls.  Wouldn't be so bad if I had somewhere to ship the kids but I don't AND it's already wet outside and supposed to rain more.  So, they're cooped up and having to not get in the way of the men drilling holes in our walls....Sounds more frustrating than it actually is at this point but it's only been an hour.  Once their nap times come and go, I'm expecting chaos and melt downs.  And the kids may get cranky, too!  =)  Tomorrow, they'll be here to finish up the insulation but then we have a sitter coming so my husband and I can go hear James MacDonald preach at a local church.  I'm going to be gone most of the day on Saturday, next week is VBS at a local church where Nathan will go with his cousin, then it's Nathan's birthday (he'll be 8), a Sunday School picnic, portfolio assessment for homeschooling, soccer starts, a few doctor's appointments here and there, and then my mom will be here to visit on the 14th (yipee!!).  I'm excited about taking the kids to the airport to pick up Mamaw.  OH, and we're supposed to be doing a summer reading program with the local library where the kids get special rewards for reading 6 and then 12 hours.  It's over August 4th and we're on hour 4....I don't think we'll make it this year!

Ah, but life is good.  No, life is GRAND!  I read this blog by my former pastor about how much he sees God's mercy in the beauty of his wife and daughters.  How true is that??  I'm a rotten, horrible sinner and it is WAY more than I deserve just to know Christ.  But, God goes even beyond that.  I have 4 beautiful children which I take for granted, I'm sure, and a husband that is beyond words.  I'm reading a book about pregnancy and everytime she talks about what to expect from the husband, I think "Jonathan's never, ever acted like that and this is our 5th pregnancy!".  He gets up every morning and does the dishes ('cause his wife is too lazy to do them).  He cooks when I'm too tired (lazy) to or have had a rough day with the kids.  He changes diapers when I'm too nauseated (lazy) to.  He gives them their baths because it's hard for me to bend down like that.  I could keep going.  But I think you get the point.  Bask in God's mercy today and give your husband or wife or kids or mom or dad or whoever is in your life an extra hug and kiss today.

Thanks, guys!  It's nice to know someone is out there reading my stuff!  Tara, so good to hear from you!!!!  How's India?

Recovering from a bad cold and I think I have a kidney or bladder infection....so, I'm not feeling well.  I'll update everyone on what's happening as soon as I get to feeling better.

Yep....that's what I thought....no one out there so I guess we'll take a hiatus until someone shows up!  No need typing a blog that noone reads.  Give me a shout out when you get back!

(PS -- My brother is fine, no appendicitis)

I'm beginning to think there's no one out there....

Come out, come out wherever you are!

Do you hear the clock?? 

Someone slow it down please!!

So we're at this graduation party for a daughter of my hubsand's co-worker.  People are talking about families with this one other co-worker saying when her daughter turns 3 they'll "consider" having another child "but only consider it".  (NOTE:  I'm not eavesdropping even though I'm not really included in the conversation.  We were there with our 4 kids but most of my husband's co-workers don't know about the baby to come yet.)  So, one of them starts talking about his wife's big family although I missed how many siblings he said she had.  Then he proceeds to say that he's one of 12 children.  Then the conversation goes like this:

Woman:  "So I see you didn't follow suit" (with a giggle, referring to the fact that he has only one child -- the one graduating)

Man:  "Are you kidding?  One doesn't recover from that.  We're lucky we had one."

One doesn't recover from that?  What kind of statement is that to make?  Children aren't curses, are they?  (Granted, some brothers and sisters may think their siblings are curses....)  Of course everyone around him laughed in agreement and the conversation quickly turned to how it's so irresponsible financially speaking to have lots of children these days.  I never did chime in although I did consider it at one point but I'm not yet sure how to talk about our God-given convictions with those who clearly aren't Christians.  I always sound judgemental and that's not Christ-like.  Anyway, I spent a lot of yesterday -- and even during church today -- dwelling on it and it just makes me sad.  How do I respond to such comments?    My heart is heavy....

How is it that time is flying by so fast?!?!  I can't believe it's been a month already since Krimson's passing and my last entry.  Here's a little update on what's going on with the Stevens family:

Getting ready for Easter tomorrow!  Would say I'm looking forward to it....It would be very exciting if it wasn't pouring the snow right now -- yuck!  Fortunately, none of it is laying on the ground.  Nathan is almost done with 2nd grade!  Yikes!  He's doing very well, at least I think so.  I had to take him shoe shopping today as he just started complaning this week that his shoes were too tight.  Caleb is still Caleb....no progress made on the potty training front.  Elizabeth is stil as cute as can be!  (Biased -- me?  No way!)  I can't wait to get her all dressed up tomorrow!  John is driving us crazy -- very cranky these days (terrible 2's?).  Allergies are in full swing around here, too, and I think Claritin is taking its effect on all 3 of the younger ones (Nathan doesn't seem to have allergies -- I don't have them but their Dad does).  We're starting a new section of KONOS -- we're moving on to Orderliness.  We just took a trip to the Air Force Museum in Dayton, Ohio.  That was neat!  We're also looking forward to some big things coming up -- we're going to go with the co-op and visit a greenhouse on the 18th and on the 19h, we're headed to the space museum.  Then, on the 24th -- we're headed to Myrtle Beach!!!!  YIPEE!!!  Oh, and I'm going with my best friend, Kisha, to a spa on the 21st for massages!  =)  Can't wait for that, either.  Let's see....what else can I update???  First Place has been pretty much a loss this session.  I'm going to work harder when the next session gets going and try not to let things get in the way.  Oh, yeah -- we joined a new church recently as well.  Our former church disbanned in December and we started visiting RBC in January.  We joined a few weeks ago.  We're happy about that. 

I think that's good enough for now....hopefully, I'll update when we get back from the beach.

Never imagined we'd be here....at least not like this.  Our dear friend, Krimson, went home to be with the Lord on Tuesday afternoon.  She was 26 years old.  She suffered a severe asthma attack on Sunday, February 25.  Unfortunately, her brain was deprived of oxygen for too long.  Monday, the neurologists confirmed to the family that she would not be able to recover and life support measures were removed Monday afternoon.  Krimson was our baby-sitter for when my husband and I would go out at night or to functions.  She was always more than willing to be there -- attended birthday parties and special events for our children and, most recently, for me!  She helped pull off a surprise 30th birthday for me just 48 hours before the attack that essentially left her brain dead and unable to sustain life.  She'd often hang around after we returned from dates/functions and play cards or talk to us until very late at night facing the almost hour drive home.  She was also the only sibling of my best friend.  While we're comforted knowing in Whom she had believed, our hearts are breaking and our minds are having trouble comprehending how this could happen. 

Krimson, we love you and we miss you more than words!        

My hubby just started working a 2nd job in the evenings.  Right now, he's working 4:30 to midnight while in training.  So, other than him coming home for lunch, I'm home with the kids all day and all evening by myself.  Things are fine -- I haven't felt bored yet or lost my sanity (YET) but -- I have absolutely no idea what to do with them in the evenings.  Unfortunately, we watch too much t.v.  Between 6 and bedtime (around 8), they are driving me crazy.  Anyone have any suggestions on what we can do with all these evenings?  Bear in mind my kids' ages are 7, 4, almost 3 and almost 2.

I started a new group last night.  It's called First Place -- it's a diet and Bible study program I'm sure many of you have heard of.  Pray for success for me, please!

Week 1 memory verse:

"Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."

Psalms 51:12

So happy to report that Elizabeth (our only daughter, 2 1/2) definately does NOT have cystic fibrosis.  She's so scrawny that the doctor has been running all kinds of tests on her.  This is (supposedly) the final test.  Since they've all been normal, we're going to assume she's just meant to be tiny and try to put her on a high fat diet.  We go back to the doctor on 2/7 to talk about that and check her weight.

Praising Him today!

Have you been walking on a surface that’s uncertain?

Have yo helped yourself to everything that’s empty?

You can’t live this way too long.  There’s more than this, more than this.

Have you been standing on your own feet too long?

Have you been looking for a place where you belong?

You can rest, you will find rest.

Let this old life crumble

Let it fade

Let this new life offered be your saving grace

Let this old life crumble

Let it fade

Let it fade

Have you been holding on to what this world has offered?

Have you been giving in to all these masquerades?

It will be gone.  It will be gone.

Are you carrying the weight too much?

Are you running from the call?

Words and music by Jeremy Camp (and Adam Watts).  Found on Jeremy’s new project called “Beyond Measure”.

Well, here we are -- half way through January already!  YIKES!  Resolutions?  Well, I'm still working on those!  Just sat down and did a rough schedule of daily activities (called it "goals" so as not to get discouraged when I don't meet the schedule -- like today!).  Today is going smoothly.  It's only 10:45 and I'm on my 2nd load of laundry.  We've had puzzle time today and the kids are watching "The Rescuers" on "Movie Time Monday".  KONOS is off to a start again after the holidays.  That is going well.  We're studying Crime and Punishment and the kids really seem to enjoy it.  I'm still plugging along with Caleb on his letters and their sounds.  Not pushing it too much -- regardless of what other 4-year-olds are doing.  The beauty of homeschool -- Caleb does NOT have to meet any standards by kindergarten.  Besides, because of his birthday (12-2-02), he technically wouldn't start kindergarten this fall any way.  It's hard, though, not getting wound up in "keeping up with the Joneses"!  We went to COSI on Saturday (saw the "Mystery of the Nile" movie -- awesome!) and I was so discouraged seeing all those Moms taking little ones to the potty -- I'm talking little girls that looked like they weren't even 2 yet.  Caleb just turned 4 and he's no where near potty trained (although we are concerned that he might have the same physical problem I had as a child).  Elizabeth will be 3 in May but because I'm focused on Caleb, I haven't even started with her.  Don't think I can do 2 at once.  Anyway, I decided to bite the bullet today.  Caleb is showing more and more signs of finally being ready.  He's in big boy pants today -- I discovered pull-ups were just a hinderance to both of us.  Still doesn't come tell me he has to go or is wet/dirty.  Maybe that will come in time?  I don't know -- I do know we're ready to be done with diapers with him. 

Any potty trainers out there experiencing what I'm experiencing?  Drop me a comment!

Guess I'd better get with it, huh?  *sigh*  Half the school year gone and I'm not where I want (need?) to be.  For the sake of having it in writing, here are my "resolutions":

1.  Find a schedule and stick to it!  I need, most importantly, a devotion time.  I also need to schedule my shower (as I'm sitting here writing this a little before 5 in the evening and haven't had one yet), which is sad to say!  I also need to be sure exercise gets priority.  My kids need a little more structure, too, I'm starting to sense....

2.  Start every day with prayer and a list.  Sounds silly, doesn't it?  But, that's what I need, I know that for sure.  I can't keep living my days relying on my own strength and not on the One who's strength is perfect.  And, I've discovered while hip deep in trying to get a mortgage (finally) that I get a lot more done during the day with lists. 

3.  Realize that I'm not Super Mom and that she doesn't exist (Thank God!).  But, on the other hand, I need to give the caring of my home and children more effort than I'm currently giving.  (Did I mention my kids are still in their pj's?) 

4.  Relax, secure in knowing that His strength is perfect and that He will give me the time and energy to do what I need to do day to day if I only rely on Him!

Wishing you all a blessed New Year!