Apr. 2, 2007 - Biting that Canker Sore
I finished reading Bridge to Terabithia today to my youngest girls. One of my favorite passages reads:
"Jess's feelings about Leslie's father poked up like a canker sore. You keep biting it, and it gets bigger and worse instead of better. You spend a lot of time trying to keep your teeth away from it. Then sure as Christmas, you forget the silly thing and chomp right down on it."
This weekend I had my own canker sore I continue to bite. My relationship with my dad is not a great one. He is extremely difficult for me to deal with and being with him is draining. He was here for a visit this weekend. I think I make progress in all the issues I have with him, and then yep---sure as Christmas, I chomp right down on it again. Ugh.
I've recognized in the last two years that my experiences and relationship with my earthly father have drastically shaped my view of my heavenly father. And of course, the two are actually nothing alike. I have found so much grace and gentleness and an easy yoke and light burden from my heavenly father. If only I could remember the truth of who HE is and HIS view of me right after I chomp down!
Do you have canker sore you continue to bite down on?
Comments
Apr. 2, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by mycrazylife
Hey CindyLouHoo!
Boy did you hit the mark with this post! I have a terrible relationship with my father also and just like you it has shaped my view of God and His love for me. That is a very hard thing to overcome. My earthly father gave no mercy and when I make mistakes that is how I tend to view God. It requires constant prayer and a re-shaping of my thoughts with God's word.
And thank you for the sweet comment on my blog! It is nice to have such encouraging friends!
Oh, and how did it go with the plumber? I hope all is fixed and your wallet is still intact!
Blessings,
Halle
Apr. 2, 2007 - Ah, yes!
Posted by EEEEMommy
My relationship with my mom was like this for YEARS. But in the past year and a half, things have slowly gotten better. First, I had some learning to do about what it really means to forgive. Then, there was the one day when I realized how ridiculous it is to continue to be upset about something that happened 15 years ago that noone can do anything about now, and can't be undone, and only hurts more every time I throw it in her face. That was a big step! It's also easier now that I can see her for an afternoon and then go home, compared to when we were visiting for a week or so and nearly killing eachother by the end of the visit. It doesn't take quite so much self control to endure a day, and the more days I endure, the more the positives outweigh the negatives.
Unfortunately, once my relationship with my mom improved, the one with my in-laws completely deteriorated....sigh!
Lots of prayer, lots of prayer, and more learning to forgive when no apology is offered.
Apr. 2, 2007 - Yes, I do have my own canker sores.
Posted by 2peter318
My relationship with my parents are o.k., though since moving back by them, after not being by them for over 15 years, has been hard. There are alot of feelings I thought I was over, when really I think I just shoved them down and didn't have to deal with them, because I only saw my parents once a year. Now, man, at times I'm ready to move away again. But right now that's not going to happen, so I endure. But it has tinted my view of my heavenly Father. I still struggle with that alot. :(
JoAnn
Apr. 2, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by PumpkinsMomma
I totally know how you feel. Mine is indeed my family - years of abuse that was covered up by everyone else. Yuk! Sometimes it's hard to deal with rough relationships, but I'm trying to be graceful to my family even when they hurt me!
Marie
Apr. 2, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by nsremom
Great analogy. Great book. Yes, I have a canker sore, and it happens to be my father and his wife, my stepmother. I am just getting healthy and secure with life and then WHAMMO. (like Christmas?) I have a visit that's just tooooo long, or a phone call and I almost always regret it. It then takes me a long time to get back to the healthy spot that I previously was.
It's not wrong to honor thy parents from afar. It's just good mental health sometimes. I love them, I respect them (in their position God put them), but I can only take them in small doses. It's just to painful otherwise.
And my kids need me healthy. yep, they sure do.
So, pray for me on Easter Sunday. :(
Apr. 2, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by debbiecorley
Hi friend! I can SO relate to the canker sore relationship with your father. My dad is a total pill and makes me cry each time I'm around him. Glad to hear you've made some progress in your dealings with him. I've managed to avoid mine since last September. URG!
Anyway, I was catching up on some of your recent posts and thought you'd be interested to know that Angela Thomas is a friend of mine. Would you like an autograph or something?
