Suga Mama on life with Chocolate Droplets
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Sep. 10, 2006
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Torn
I
am supposed to be writing in my planbook for tomorrow's lessons.
Nothing so spectacular, "R" sound words for Sundai, rounding to the
thousands for Ser, something preschooly for Zion. But I can not stop
watching this game, Giants vs Colts.
Surely deciding between football and school work is nothing compared to
what the Manning parents must be goin through. How do you hope that
both of your sons win the game, when you know one of them is going to
lose? Maybe they are used to it by now.
They just showed the commercial with pics of the boys growing up
playing football. I can already playback some mental film of my
boys playing on the lawn with their helmets on, tackling each other. I
try to imagine what they will be like when they are older. Who will do
what, will their personalities play out the way we think?
But right now, they are still my little boys who need to be taught
tomorrow so that they can go off to college and be whatever they
desire.
Instead of being torn between planning and the Mannings, I'll choose to
prepare for my three sons and 1 daughter (so far) so that we can
have a great day tomorrow.
SugaMama
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Sep. 5, 2006
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Just a minute
to
tell you guys about my WONDERFUL weekend with my husband!!! (I am
supposed to be in the bed by 11:30 and I still have to plan for
tomorrow, put away the dishes and clean the school room)
Anyway, we drove to NY for a friend's wedding. The long and short of
it; the wedding was very intimate, emotional and short, the reception
was delicious, dance packed, full of pictures and long. Sunday dh
planned a trip to the Vanderbilt Muesum.
It was beyond beautiful and breathtaking! Then we drove along the Long
Island coast and ate lunch near the shore. Ofcourse I can't tell yall everything that happend, children do frequent this site!
Now its back to life/ back to reality. We began school today and
it went pretty well. We got through everything except science ( a
friend called with a follow up to a desperate situation) and the
read aloud of The Strawberry Girl.
I don't know what it is about that book that I just can't seem to
finish. but I need to show the kids how to stay the course and complete
an unpleasant task.
For those of you with little ones, you would appreciate our new toddler friendly schedule. Here is a glimpse:
7:00 All children wake up, dress, make up beds
7:45 Eat breakfast and Bible lesson
8:15 Clear table, brush teeth, prepare for school
8:30 Preschool w/ younger two, older two handwriting
9:00 Sesame Street, 1yo stays in playpen for 30 minutes
9:30 1 yo comes to upper campus (bedrooms) to play while
I teach an older child.
10:00 Snack and Science for all
10:30 1 and 3yos play with rotated toys while I teach
11:00 Play on porch or in tub with a tiny
amount of water
while I sit on the floor and
teach an older child.
11:30 Free play/recess/prepare
lunch/mini date with Bob
Barker
12:00 lunch
12:30 Nurse 1 yo, read history and nap story to 3 yo
1/1:15 Lay youner ones down for nap/
Read aloud to older
ones/ finish
up school work
2:00 ish Jump in my bed for a 30 -45 minute nap
/whole house nap (and I " pitty the fool" that rings my bell during
this time of the day!)
So, today we got pretty close to that! Praise God! Now let me go and
look at the plans for tomorrow and clean up or tomorrow's blog will be
pretty sad!
Suga
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Aug. 26, 2006
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Last Saturday before
We
hit the books!!! Monday we go back to school and all of us are eager
for it! The kids saw the co op they will be attending on Fridays and
they are excitied!
It was like signing up for college courses. All the ones we wanted had a big orange marker through them that read FULL. But, they will be there all day Friday.
Today, Saturday, was almost my "get the whole house cleaned in one day
and plan for school the next week" let down. I woke up late b/c we went
out to visit our dear friends last night and I really needed some
sleep. Then I had to scrub everything down b/c we bombed the ants
(which did nothing)! Slowly the kids got up and I rushed them out the
house to my hair consultation.
Yes, Mamas, I can't wait! Tuesday night I get my wig twisted!!! I
really could care less what style I get as long as its clean and stress
free and cute!! I told dh I needed to be there at 5:30, a whole 30
minutes before. I needed to build in some me time, enough to get a
magazine or book from the library, coffee or somethin'!
Anyway, when we got back the kids did chores, the 3 yo slept and peed
MY BED!!! while the almost 12 month old slept in the air
conditioned car behind the locked gate. That's right, I let my baby
sleep in the car with the air on, in our car port behind the locked
gate. I had to eat something 'fore I died! I fixed my plate and sat in
the car with him, almost went to sleep too.
Finally, I took him inside and ofcourse he woke up and was up for the
rest of the day. I'm talkin 7 hours of nothin but catching a baby,
getting him down from the steps, changing poopy diapers on a diaper
rashed butt, checking for teeth marks after he bit his older brother
and the list goes on and on! The kids swept and mopped their bedroom floors and the little boy came over to play.
I am tired, but guess what? I can't go to sleep! Its 1:33 am and I finally have some me time! OK so I had some me time after he went to sleep at 10, but I had to plan for next week and listen to dh (yall know how that is) plus watch SNL (Antonio Banderas was on) and then finish planning during the commercials...
Any way, I am about to go to bed and pray that I can finish planning
tomorrow. Dh already said he may have to work tomorrow instead of going
to church. Do I really want to go without him...
We'll see.....
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Aug. 22, 2006
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The Least of these
Week two of our break and what have I been doing?
Have I been relaxing with Bob at 11 o'clock EST?
No.
Have I been decluttering and packing for this huge move that we are about to make?
No.
Is my plan book overcrowed with new ideas for our next 8 week school session?
No.
What have I been doing instead? I'm glad you asked.
Yesterday we spent the day at home. Now, last week, my neighbor had
some men fixing her house and they happened to have a little 6 year old
boy with them. The boy sat on the steps in what ever shade he could
find, playing with whatever stick he could find while his Daddy built a
deck. I thought surely the child would not sit out in the hot sun all
day. Ofcourse, that's excatly what happened.
So, I made up my mind
then and there to invite him to come and play with us. So, Monday
morning who was out side bright and early at 8 am, this little boy.
When my children and I went out to play I asked his father if he could
come over and he did.
He played nicely with the children, but
since I didn't know him from Adam, I had to be there listening,
watching, observing. After lunch, I asked his Dad if he could stay a
little longer and play on the computer. Once Dad gave consent, we
walked back across the street. It was on that very short walk that God
opened up a window of opportunity to share the gospel of Christ:
Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out some change.
"This is for you."
"What's that for?"
"For feeding me lunch!"
Totally astonished and humbled, I shook my head and told him he didn't have to pay me for his lunch.
He astonishly asked,"Well, why did you feed me lunch?"
This is where the Holy Spirit whispered, "This is your chance!"
I asked him,"Have you ever heard of someone named Jesus?"
Thinking for a moment, he said," Yeah, didn't they KILL HIM ?"
At this moment, I liked to die laughing! As a child growing up in an
"urban" environment exposed to stuff far beyond his years, he asked
this so "as a matter of fact".
Not wanting to confuse the child, I said yes, but he's not dead any longer. I'm sure that
was really clear! But, moving on quickly I added that Jesus once told
his friends that if they ever see someone in need of a friend or food
or drink or clothes or any kind of care, they are to give it to them.
And when they do so, its like doing it for Jesus.
He just
kinda looked at me, not really understanding but accepting. I heard the
Spirit say that he might not understand it now, but that He would bring
it back to his remembrence when he could.
I hope I didn't sound like I was complaining in the beginning of
this blog. I am happy about serving my Lord. I am also equally reminded
that after serving Jesus was quick to slip away and rest. In the mean
time, my children and I are spending our last week of break, serving
the least of these.
Suga
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Aug. 20, 2006
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You are amazing God
I don't even know what to title this blog... I guess it will come to me by the end of it.
So let's see... what have I been doing since my birthday?? We went to the library, and oh, I had my date with Bob.
I did tell you all about my man on the side, right?
I didn't tell yall about my daily 11 o'clock date with Bob Barker?
That is my show!!! During school I look at the clock strike 11 and sigh
as I go on with school, but not on the two week break! I was able to
enjoy Bob on The Price Is Right and holla out the answers to the bid
right along with everyone else. This particular show was good. This
young guy named Peter was so excitied to "come on down", that he began
to do back flips. Turns out, this guy is a professional tumbler!
What does a professional tumbler do, exactly? He did plenty of back flips after he won, "A New CARRRRR!"
Saturday I got up early and met my dear friend Shawn
at the farmer's market. I was sooooo excitited to be out of the house
early before the kids had a chance to stop me. I took the long scenic
route through the city to the farmer's market. We strolled through the
vendors and marvelled at all that was there. It was a field trip!
I bought a different type of kale and cooked it according to Jamie's
(the farmer who sold it to me) directions. Then I found something
really interesting, edible flowers called Nasturtiums
They were really good, I have to find were I can get some seeds and grow them on the porch.
Afterwards, I went home, gathered up the kids and baby sat for a friend
who is recovering from breast reduction surgery. That was fun, sitting
under the shade of the tree with the children, eating leftover pizza
and fruit from the farmer's market.
Came home, bathed the
kids, watched Mulan for the first time, put them in bed and had a long
talk with dh about various topics, one including the dreaded "What are
we gonna do about this potential of having more kids thing?" I am so
tired of having this conversation! If you've read the blog on "Raising
tomatoes" then you know how I feel. Right about now, I am giving up,
throwing in the towel, overdosing on birth control pills and following
it with a spermicide laced oj chaser! I spent much of the night asking
the Lord to change me, make me into one of those women who doesn't
care, who can't stand the thought of getting pregnant again. At least
we would be on the same page and I wouldn't feel this huge tug of war!
UUUGGGGHHHH!
Ok.....I feel better now. One of my coping
mechanisms is to visulaize myself "over or past" what ever my current
mountain is. So last night, I imagined what I am going to think about
this when I am 67 and after menopause. Will I think about allowing God
to control my fertility? Maybe. Will I be over it by then? I better be!
This Sunday's service was Indiscribable! The message was
titled so, and it was full of images of this universe that we call
home. It showed our solar system and the Milky Way galaxy and where we
live in that enormous vastness. Our planet was a speck in the lower
right corner! The speaker (I'm too tired to go upstairs and find the
bullentin with his name on it... forgive me) kept showing pictures like
the sun, the birth and death of a star. He explained how long it would
take us to get to the other galaxies and how it would take all
the energy of the US over a period of a few trillion years to be able
to run the sun for one second! Then he went way out and showed us even
more amazing stuff that was how ever many light years away. Finally, he
said he had one more image to show us, and this one was the furthest we
could go. It was a picture of our Lord Jesus Christ on the cross.
GIRLLLL, I lost it!!!! Normally my eyes water because of this new
makeup I'm trying, but this time it was because I caught a glimpse of
just how great and wonderful and awesome and powerful and words that i
don't have to describe how indiscribable my God is! He called the
stars by name all kazillion of them and yet he knows my name and wants to listen to me!!
That is too great for me to understand! I wanted to run and cry and
shout and sing how great my God is!!!! But all I could do was stand
there and cry and allow my soul to be humbled. This is how Moses must
have felt when he wanted to see God's glory and God only allowed him to
see the tail end of him.
And here I am mad,upset,worried,
about all the things that seem so big to me right now. Yes, they are
important, but I can't lose focus of Who loves me and how big He is.
Chris Tomlin said it best:
Indescribable,uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God
All powerful,untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God
Incomparable,unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amaing God
You are amazing God
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Aug. 16, 2006
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Is Today Your Birthday?
When
I was little, my Daddy had a whole bunch of records (remember those?)
that he would play for me. One of them had this little song to teach
you the days of the week. The young child would sing, "Is today my
birthday?" and the parent would say, "Not yet, today is Monday, Monday,
Monday!" Well, it has become a tradition in our home to sing that
little song to the birthday person starting a week prior to the date.
We all get a twisted sense of joy yelling "Not yet!"
Well, today I said, "It is, it is, it is my birthday!" Because it is my 32nd birthday today!!!
I thought a lot about how to celebrate. I think birthdays are very special, cause its the one
day in the whole year that you should feel especially special. So I
wanted to do something that would make me feel just that. A trip to my
favorite museum and having a pic nic at a very nice park would make my
day.
The museum didn't work out (I still had four children to tend to), but
we did make it to the park. I asked a good friend to visit with her
children and they were the perfect compliment to my day. On the way
home we drove through downtown listening to my favorite smooth jazz
station. I tell ya, its the little things that make me happy.
Last night I cooked a large pan of Baked Ziti
and my favorite Cranberry apple toss salad. I made enough so that
I wouldn't feel like I cooked on my birthday. After dinner the family
went out for ice cream.
I have soooo much to be thankful for. I had a great childhood for the
most part, my parents are still alive and well, my dh and I are still
happily married and I have four gifts that I get to open up every
morning.
Above all that, I have a relationship with the One who made heaven and earth, He wants to talk to me and hear from me. I am richly blessed !!!
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Aug. 8, 2006
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Living my Dream
We
have been having some really great home school days! As you know we are
using Sonlight for history, language arts (for the most part) and
science. In fear of boredom and wanting to shake things up a bit, I
jumped ahead and began learning about Ancient China.
I got some really great books from the library. One is called Ancient Science
by Jim Wiese. We have done all kinds of ancient Chinese lessons like
building kites, making "gun powder" and a magnitized compass and
ice cream. Tomorrow we make our own paper (paper mache).
We've read about Ancient Chinese life through good books like The Magic
School Bus and Growing Up in Ancient China. A blanket on the
front yard in the shade has become a favorite in enjoying these books.
Yesterday they flew their kites up and down the grass. It really made
me thankful for the opportunity to be home with them and to learn right
along with them.
Today we weren't supposed to do school, but
we had a few extra things to finish up before our two week break next
week. A good friend called and asked me to keep 4 out of 5 of her
babies for her. (Check her out at her blog)
So in a flash, I had an instant "big family" for a few hours. In total
I had 8 children ages 8,7,6,6,4,3,20 months and 11 months. As you might
imagine the youngest 2 were the busiest and the hardest to manage, just
because of what their ages demand. The older ones were great. I called
everyone into the foyer as I stood on the steps and gave instructions
on where to play and when lunch was to be served. They understood and
went to play. They set the table and cleared it. It really wasn't a big
deal.
AAhhhhhh to live my dream for 2-3 hours today felt good.
It really felt good to have a house full of children ... busy... very
busy, but good. I know this is not for everyone, but I really believe
that God may have meant it for me. This is what I've always wanted, even as a young girl. I can't remember ever not wanting it.
So, we'll see. I have no idea what God has planned for us in terms of
more children, but I am learning to be content with whatever (whom
ever) He gives us.
What's YOUR dream? Have you lived it? Are you working towards it?
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Aug. 5, 2006
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Looking through the trees
Saturdays
are always big let downs for me. Its not Saturday's fault, its mine. I
always have these high hopes for Saturday, like cleaning the whole
house, that never get done.
I actually planned only 3 very realistic things for today. Give a child
an enema (long story), finish laundry for the week and destroy the dust
bunny family residing in my bedroom under the air conditioner.(Sorry
dust bunnies, nothing personal) I could have done these 3 things
if it were not for two reasons. My 11 month old and a serious case of
sleep deprivation because of the 11 month old.
We did manage to give the enema, that had to happen. The laundry is not
finished and its 11:49 pm and the dust bunnies get away yet again.
Needless to say I was very frustrated! I was so sleepy that I probably
wasted some time walking around in circles. Finally, when I realized I
was going no where fast, I decided to give up and join the kids. We
went out side and laid down on a blanket.
There are few things in life that are as simple and satisfying as lying
on your back on a warm summer day (with little to no humidity) and
gazing up through the trees at the perfect blue sky! The only thing
that made it even better was doing it with all my kiddos. It was soooo
cute! All our heads lined up on the blanket next to each other,
pointing out the dead branches on the trees, waving at the airplane
that flys by and praying no bird poop falls into our eyes!
At that moment, I realized how trivial my frustrations were. Yes, they
are valid and important to me, but at that moment I realized that
somewhere in the world, a mother cannot lay on a blanket outside her
home with her children. Instead of counting birds, they would be
counting bombs and missles. Running after fireflies would turn into
running away from gun fire.
Too many times, I take my life here in America for granted. Well, not tonight.
Thank You God
for the blessing of looking through the trees
and being able to do so
in peace.
How ever You see fit
to bring peace, bring it.
In the mean time, use me
as your servant to
serve those in need
because of war in their homeland.
Help me to be a better keeper of
my home
and
thank You
for the lessons learned while
lying on my back
on a blanket.
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Aug. 1, 2006
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Quiet moments and a Big Mouse
Today
was our no school day. Instead of hitting the books, we went to Chuckie
Cheese to celebrate the 3 year old's birthday. All his 3 year old
friends were there along with their bigger and/or smaller siblings.
They had a great time.
I realized how much I have changed from a first time mom to now a mom
of four children. I never would have let my first child out of my sight
at such places. Now, I position myself where I can see the door and
make sure they don't leave the building! I even forgot all about my
baby today. While setting the table, I figured I should go lay my eyes
on the 3yo. While looking for him, my dear friend handed me my baby. I
forgot she had him!! Anyway, we made it through the day without any
kidnappings and missing children!
I probably was tired from staying up late last night looking for a
house in Georgia. That's right. If you are a reader of my blog, you are
the first to know (even before my real life friends) that we are moving
to Goergia this fall. By Thanksgiving, we hope to be in our new home.
Dh called yesterday and said that his contract will not be renewed
after November. We've wanted to move to Georgia for about a year now,
but we weren't sure of the timing. I prayed last month for God to show
us what to do and when. I see this as Him kicking us out of Maryland
and into our new home.
Speaking of yesterday, we had a really good school day. Although we
began late, we finished all our subjects and had some quiet time. Just
before naps, we were all laying on the sofa. I had finished reading a
library story, when I felt so sleepy! The older kids ran and got some
blankets and pillows in hopes that I would fall asleep. (They probably
wanted me to sleep so that they can play a computer game!) We all
snuggled up under some blankets on the sofa with the AC on full blast,
and just kinda sat there, quietly. It was nice, having all my babies
piled up on the sofa pretending to sleep. Actually, I did dose off for
a few laying next to the 3 year old.
Ahhhh, these moments are why I love home schooling. In order for us to
have a great home school day tomorrow, I better sign off here, do the
dishes and go to sleep.
Suga
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Jul. 26, 2006
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10 O'clock in the Morning
There
is something about 10 o'clock in the morning, something that I love to
catch and hate to miss. I realized it two weeks ago as I was dropping
off the older two at VBS. By the time I saw them safely in the building
and got the two younger ones safely strapped in their car seats, it was
10 o'clock. 10 o'clock and something warm and exciting came over me.
Maybe 10 o'clock represents a second chance. You know how you plan on
doing something in the morning, but you haven't gotten it done yet?
When 12 noon rolls in, its too late, the am is now the pm. But 10
o'clock allows time to finish that morning task.
Maybe 10
o'clock is just the perfect time of the day. Not too early, not too
late. just right! Its not too hot in the summer and not too cold in the
winter. Just the right amount of sun in all seasons. The time that has
demanded a merge of breakfast and lunch.
I've found,
however, that 10 o'cock only has its signifigance when I remember to
acknowledge it. I am disappointed when it slips by me and its already
eleven thirty or some other "just not right time of the day". I almost
have a little "party" within myslef at the site of the hands strike ten!
Our school days are at their greatest when we are on time by 10
o'clock. That means that preschool / handwriting is done and I have
completed 30 minutes of individual time in either reading or math with
a child, with one hour and thirty minutes still within in my grasp! Oh
TEN O'CLOCK I LOVE YOU!!!
So, now that you all think I am crazy, why not solidify my room with the padded walls with a poem dedicated to 10 o'clock:
It could be one, two, three or five
that gets me going, keeps me alive.
Six, seven, eight are fine
when I want to wine and dine.
Nine, eleven even twelve are great
for a party or a play date.
But if a smile is what your after
then let it be 10, because 10 o'clock is when I begin
to shine from the inside with a radiant glow
why it happens
I don't excatly know
but it does everyday at the end of 9:59
the world stops for me
on the turn of a dime
for now its my duty, now its my time
to wink at the clock
and silently grin
for the Good Lord had granted
me the good
time of
ten!
SugaMama
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Jul. 26, 2006
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The Day After My Sister's Wedding
It
was beautiful! I didn't know how it was going to turn out, but it was
beautiful! My little sister and her soon to be husband talked and
laughed at the altar while exchanging vows. Afterwards, at the
reception, they almost danced while eating their food! It was a real
party.
Although it was a good day, I could not sleep that night. Perhaps it
was due to new surroundings at the hotel, or maybe it was prayer for my
lil sister on her "wedding night" that kept me up, I'm not sure.
But I am sure that I am so happy for her and her new life with her new
dh.
We all found our way back to my parent's house the next day for a
barbeque. My cousins and Grandmother from Georgia were there along with
the new married couple, my brother and his girlfriend and other family
friends. I sat on the blanket with my littlest guy, and would you
believe, he took his first steps on that blanket with all of our family
watching! I almost cried!
In a effort to get to know everyone better, we played a game where we
had to write the answer to this question: What would you do if you knew
you could not fail, and what resources would you need to get it done.
We didn't sign our names so that we could guess who wrote it. It was
very fun and interesting to hear what family members wanted to do.
I had a hard time narrowing down what I would like to do. If you are an
IRL (in real life) friend, then you might know that my dream has always
been to be a wife and a mother to as many children as God would allow
me to have. Now that dream has expanded to include home schooling them
all, leading a small group Bible or parenting study for moms, owning a
successful software company and writing a children's book series.
At the end of the night, we said our sad goodbyes and promised to
call when we all got home. That's a promise that we all kept and I hope
will continue to keep.
SugaMama
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Jun. 29, 2006
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Tell the truth, shame the devil!
Today
was spent in our favotite place where we can take home what ever we
want and how many of what we want. The Library! Well, we learned today
that you can only have 60 items checked out at a time. I know 60 may
seem like a lot, but if you add up how many books, videos and cds
excite one child, its easy to get to 60. Plus, not to mention the idea
that you can fill up the library bag with whatever you want, come on,
it doesn't get any better than that!
I thought to share this funny story from the Pedetrician yesterday. My
dd had her 6 year old check up. They did the normal things, height,
weight, heart etc, etc. The doc comes in and asks me if I had any
concerns. This is how the conversation went.
"I am concerned about her pulling her hair out. Its been going on now for a while and I am worried her hair will not grow back."
Ped, turns to my dd and asks, "Why are you pulling out your hair?"
Dd, with that look that tells me "I am embarrased so I will put this
pouty on my mouth and say something silly to get the attention off of
me", turns to the Ped and says, "I'm scared."
"What scares you?"
"Momma and Daddy," my dd replies.
~~~~~ Park the bus right here! What the devil is this girl thinking?
Moreover, what is the DOCTOR thinking? Am I gonna get DSS at my door
tomorrow?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With peaked interest, Ped asks, "When do Mommy and Daddy scare you?"
~~~~ By now I'm giving her this look that says, 'girl you betta come with the truth, and quick!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
DD replies, "They scare me at night."
The docotor now turns to me with all jokes gone and with a face of
stone and says, 'If you and your dh are arguing or going through a
rough time, try not to allow the children to hear you."
~~~~~~~ Just as background info, dh and I do not argue like
normal people. If someone would see one of our arguments they would
question if we are giving each other the silent treatment! We
intentionally take our time to form our words so as not to say
something we don't mean. Please don't get me wrong, there have been
some heated debates, but the kids have only heard 2 of them and the
last one was 4 months ago outside the Target store!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (Back to the conversation)
At this point, I knew what my embarrased dd was trying to say, so I
asked her to clarify what Mama and Daddy did that scared her.
"At night, when they forget to close their door I get scared because its dark in there."
I just sat there and shook my head with my eyes to the ceiling and
prayed the old Negro spiritual, "Father I stretch my hand to Thee, no
other help I know. If Thy withdrawl Thy hand from me wether shall I
go?" Lord, what am I gonna do with this chile!!!!!
Suga
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Jun. 28, 2006
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I was feeling mighty down, I was feeling mighty low, but...
Warning:
This is an excerpt from my journal. If you really don't want to know
who I am or what I struggle with stop reading now. If TMI (too much
information) doesn't bother you, then enter in...
Dear You,
Its not about him not being the spiritual leader of our home. Its not
about wether he prays before a major (or minor) decision. Its about me.
Forget about how he will respond when I say we should do a "family fun
night" (devotional). Its about me.
I have not been steadfast in prayer and diligent in reading God's Word.
Although I do feel like he has influenced my spiritual life for the
worse (not encouraging prayer together, nor discussing spiritual
things). I can not place all of the blame on him. Its about me.
A CBS style Bible
study would serve me right now. Something that would guide me into
God's word and give me understanding. My heart desires to be close to
you Lord, to discuss my dreams and fears with you and then, (the best
part) to hear CLEARLY from You. That's what I want. That's what Your
word says I have, but I don't "feel" it.
I know its not about a feeling. The Truth says nothing can seperate me from your love, not even my feelings...
God, I want to know how You see me. What do You think about the choices
we are making? The move, the business, more/no more children? What do
You think about my heart concerning my relationship with *this
particular friendship gone sour*? How could I improve with my children?
Is there something in the neighborhood you would want to do through me?
I need to hear from You!!
To quote Ms. Sophia (some of yall know who she is) "I was feeling mighty down, I was feeling mighty low, but...I knowed 'dere was a God!"
I came down to the school room and thought to read a devotional. This is what today's message was : June 28
I sat here nursing the baby and cried as my soul was replenished! God,
does listen even when I don't think he is. Its not how often I read my
Bible, how long my prayers are or (to my dh's credit) how spiritual I
am. Its Christ. I don't remember the words to all of this song, but one
line that keeps coming back to me is...
"It is enough that Jesus died and that He died for me!"
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Jun. 21, 2006
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TheLesson for today: Stand up fpr your self!!!
Let's
see... what happened today... oh yes, eye doctor appointment for all
four kids. The baby Zori (that's the first time I used one of my
kiddies real names... you should feel honored!) has Duane's Syndrome
in one of his eyes just like his Daddy. So that has to be monitored to
make sure that the vision in that eye doesn't diminish. After that we
went to Dunkin Doughnuts were the lesson for the day began to take
root.
I had a coupon for $1 off 50 Munchkins. (I know, I
know a big whooping savings, but a buck is a buck) So I told the guy
about the coupon and he acted like he didn't hear me. He filled the
order and rang up the total without subtracting the dollar. I reminded him of the coupon and tried to compensate for the language barrier ( I had not been using my Rosetta Stone like I should) in order to get my savings. Mind you, a line is forming behind me and I began to put the pressure of "holding people up"
on myself. The cashier had to read it for what felt like 15 minutes and
then call someone else over to give me my coupon savings. Even she
didn't take off a dollar. Instead of fighting it, I quietly took my
Munchkins, said thank you and tipped out the door.
Next
example of the lesson of the day came in the form of a friend. A friend
who threw her arm out of socket was asked by another friend to watch
her kids. The dislocated shoulder friend told me she was agonozing over
telling her friend that she couldn't watch her kids. She didn't want to
say no. I promptly found courage that I had lost in Dunkin Doughnuts,
and called the lady with kids and said my arm in the sling friend could
not watch her kids and was afraid of hurting her feelings to say so.
One minute I'm the Lion with no courage and the next I'm BraveHeart!!!
Go figure!!
Lastly, tonight on the phone with my sister, I am
trying to understand why her fiance has saved up all this money for a
house to move into in four weeks after they get married, but
still insists on moving in with one of their parents to save money???
She explained the need for privacy in a new marriage and wanted them to
move into an apartment untill they find a house, but he does not want
to do that. Moving in with his parents is a nightmare waiting to happen
for various reasons (that I should not share with thousands of total
strangers). Moving into my parents home isn't that much better, but at
least they would have the upper apartment (Its a duplex) with its own
kitchen, living room and bath. (Albeit the bedroom is directly
above my parents ......) (My sister is currently living there
now) The only problem there is my sister's friend who has been living
in the smaller bedroom for a couple of years now. It ain't cool to be
with your new husband when your single girlfriend is living in
the bedroom next door!!! SHE GOTTA GO!!
So, I told my lil
sis to send her packing (in a nice way). My sistah begins with
,"Wouldn't it be unfair to her?" And I'm thinking, are you crazy, its
time to think about you and what kind of marriage you are gonna have!!!! Give her 4 weeks notice and she can find another place to live.
Although I was frustrated by my sister's lack of ... oh I don't know
what to call it.... selfishness for lack of a better word, I was more
struck by how much I do the same thing. Compassion and common courtesy
is one thing, not giving yourself what you need is unhealthy. So,
I have made a resolution.
AS OF JUNE 21, 2006 AT 11:15, I WILL NO LONGER PUT MY SELF IN HARMS WAY, NEGLECT MYSELF OR ( AND THIS IS WHAT IT REALLY BOILS DOWN TO ) IGNORE THE GOD GIVEN PLACE I HAVE IN THIS WORLD TO BE AND TO RESPECTFULLY HAVE MY NEEDS MET.
I can choose to be unhealthy or healthy. I choose to be healthy, I choose life!
Suga
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Jun. 20, 2006
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Summing up the day
Wierd,
but good I can't even explain why it was weird. That's all I can say to
sum up the day thus far. I slept late in hopes of shaking this cold,
and it must've worked cause I feel a lot better.
Since I got up late, everyone got up late. We were eating breakfast
when we would normally be doing reading, but oh well. We read 2 Kings:
22 and played with Legos.
Preschool with the two younger guys while the older ones did A
Reason For Writing. Dora the Explorer kept the 2 year old busy while I
schooled the 6 yo in reading reflex. That is a job that requires more
patience than I have. Maybe I'm pushing too hard, or something. I don't
know. The 2nd/3rd grader worked contractions on the internet. After
lunch we finished up Math U See and then headed outside for fun in the
sprinkler.
After turkey bologna and cheese sandwiches with baked chips and juice,
they are watching Bible's Greatest Heroes while I try to wash clothes
and make a menu for the week so I can go shopping.
That pretty much sums up the day.
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Jun. 19, 2006
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Juneteenth
It
was hard getting up today. After our Father's Day excursions to Motor
cross 2006 and Go Kart racing, I was wiped out. Not to mention that a
litte cold is trying to catch me.
So dh stayed home this morning to help with the kids so I could sleep
in late. That helped ... a little. By 10:30 I had forced my self push
some nourishment down my sour throat, dressed the 2 year old and blown
my nose a million times.
I knew I wanted to do "something" for school today, but I also knew I
had not planned anything for today. I further knew that if I did plan something for today, that it was not getting done.
Actually, I did plan to attend the Juneteenth celebration
in the city today. I was reminded of the holiday last week in the
library when I spotted two books about it. In short, its a day that
commemorates the ending of slavery in America for African American
people. So we read what it was and what it means for us today as
African Americans. We played an old slave game with popcorn
called The Old Grey Mare while sitting outside on a blanket. Our
celebration ended with a reading of a fictional story called Freedom's
Gifts by Valerie Wilson.
The day left me feeling nostalgic of my Granny in Georgia, the old
times and really wondering what life must have been like for my
ancestors. I found myslef focusing on the horrible Middle Passage,
and how they must have felt. It gave me strength as I fought this cold.
If my x number of Great's grandmother could endure horrors
unspeakable, surely I could get through the day with a cold in my air
conditioned home, semi stocked frig, lotion soft tissues and cold
medicine! I've vowed to celebrate this holiday with our family from now
on.
God,
Thank You for Juneteenth and for what it means to me. Even in those
days when "hope unborn had died" You were still there and faithful. You
have been the God of our weary years, God of our silent tears, Thou who
has bought us thus far on the way, Thou who has by Thy might led us
into the light, keep us forever in the path we pray.
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Jun. 6, 2006
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Can you believe it???
Its's
been almost a month since I was allowed to be here. Yes, I say allowed
thanks to Verizon. God bless them, but they messed up our account and
our DSL was off for nearly 3 weeks!!! My dh flipped his wig! He had to
drive around trying to hop on someone's internet connection.
Then we went on our family vacation to Florida for two weeks. It was
our first flight with all the kids! I thought they were going to
explode! Seeing the family there was great and I stole a little
time to myself one morning. I had a vacation with in the vacation.
The only down fall was when the baby got sick just before our 6 hour
drive to Georgia to visit my grandmother. He had a very high fever that
Tylenol nor Motrin could bring down. He cried 5 1/2 of the 6 hour ride
back to Florida. (He had the nerve to fall asleep 30 minutes from my
sil's house).
So, now we are back and in full swing summer school. Our next 2 week
break is scheduled in August. My goal is to work on reading, writing
and math this summer. Adding in some free movies, playdates, parks and
a trip to the beach.
It feels good to be back! Did ya miss me?
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May. 4, 2006
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A Beautiful Home school day
Ok,
I am really mad! I just typed this long beautiful blog about our day,
then I had to check the online dictionary for a proper spelling. When I
came back, my beautiful long blog was erased!!! UUGGGGGG! So, here's
the long and short of it...
We had a lovely time in the museum and earned a well deserved
compliment from an older lady. She told me of a conversation someone
else had with her about us. They said my children were the best behaved
children they had seen in the museum in a long time! That made my day!!
We spent the rest of the afternoon in the park doing history, swings,
sand box, football and making friends. Simply Lovely!
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Apr. 25, 2006
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Our first MOTH day!
So
we did our first day with our new managers of their homes schedule and
it was wonderful! I was up at 5, nursing the baby and the children woke
at 7. We began school 30 minutes earlier at 8:30 and accomplished more
by 10 o'clock than ever before!
Even the kids couldn't believe what time it was and how much we had
done! I was giggling as I climbed in the bed at 2pm for a nap and
everyone was taking a rest. My 7yo whined about not needing a nap, and
he was the first one asleep!
I didn't do all that I planned, but its a great start.
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Apr. 22, 2006
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Home school fair
Today
was the day I looked forward to as a home school mom for a whole year.
The home school curriculum fair! The one day I get to be me around my
people and let it all hang out! Here I can walk in with all four of my
little people and not be stared at, but rather encouraged to carry on,
multiply and prosper!
I planned the night before by making a list of all I wanted to get and
compared prices and reviews. I scouted out the lay of the vending land
and which favorite company is where. The diaper bag was packed and the
car loaded up with the stroller. We were ready!
The only thing I didn't plan on was the rain. It poured cats and dogs
and almost tempted me to stay home. But we perservered anyway and made
it.
I headed straight to the Sonlight table where I met my anonymous
friend. I met this friend 3 years ago at the fair, showcasing the
curriculum of my dreams! I really don't remember what made us hit it
off so well, but we did and last year I looked for her and she was
there. I shared with her that I was expecting our fourth and she shared
with me her soon arrival of her sixth! You know she was my girl after
that! So this year, I couldn't wait to show off my baby and see hers.
And she is no longer anonymous, i got her name and address to write.
Since I know you are all just dying to know what I purchased, here ya go:
- Little Hands to Heaven a pre school Bible based program
- Managers of Their Homes
- Explode the Code 2
- Wordly Wise 3000 A and B
- A Day of Delight by Doorpost A giude to making Sunday the best day of the week
- Before I was Born God's plan for sex
- Proverbs Family Nights Tool Chest
- Student plan book
There was so much more I could've bought, but I decided not to totally kill my budget.
It was just so good to be around like minded people. I feel refreshed and ready to plan for the next 8 weeks of school.
suga mama
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About Me
A window into my daily ramblings of growing Godly Men and Women while loving my husband, being a keeper of my home and staying sane all at the same time!! |
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