I don't even know what to title this blog... I guess it will come to me by the end of it.
So let's see... what have I been doing since my birthday?? We went to the library, and oh, I had my date with Bob.
I did tell you all about my man on the side, right?
I didn't tell yall about my daily 11 o'clock date with Bob Barker?
That is my show!!! During school I look at the clock strike 11 and sigh
as I go on with school, but not on the two week break! I was able to
enjoy Bob on The Price Is Right and holla out the answers to the bid
right along with everyone else. This particular show was good. This
young guy named Peter was so excitied to "come on down", that he began
to do back flips. Turns out, this guy is a professional tumbler!
What does a professional tumbler do, exactly? He did plenty of back flips after he won, "A New CARRRRR!"
Saturday I got up early and met my dear friend Shawn
at the farmer's market. I was sooooo excitited to be out of the house
early before the kids had a chance to stop me. I took the long scenic
route through the city to the farmer's market. We strolled through the
vendors and marvelled at all that was there. It was a field trip!
I bought a different type of kale and cooked it according to Jamie's
(the farmer who sold it to me) directions. Then I found something
really interesting, edible flowers called Nasturtiums
They were really good, I have to find were I can get some seeds and grow them on the porch.
Afterwards, I went home, gathered up the kids and baby sat for a friend
who is recovering from breast reduction surgery. That was fun, sitting
under the shade of the tree with the children, eating leftover pizza
and fruit from the farmer's market.
Came home, bathed the
kids, watched Mulan for the first time, put them in bed and had a long
talk with dh about various topics, one including the dreaded "What are
we gonna do about this potential of having more kids thing?" I am so
tired of having this conversation! If you've read the blog on "Raising
tomatoes" then you know how I feel. Right about now, I am giving up,
throwing in the towel, overdosing on birth control pills and following
it with a spermicide laced oj chaser! I spent much of the night asking
the Lord to change me, make me into one of those women who doesn't
care, who can't stand the thought of getting pregnant again. At least
we would be on the same page and I wouldn't feel this huge tug of war!
UUUGGGGHHHH!
Ok.....I feel better now. One of my coping
mechanisms is to visulaize myself "over or past" what ever my current
mountain is. So last night, I imagined what I am going to think about
this when I am 67 and after menopause. Will I think about allowing God
to control my fertility? Maybe. Will I be over it by then? I better be!
This Sunday's service was Indiscribable! The message was
titled so, and it was full of images of this universe that we call
home. It showed our solar system and the Milky Way galaxy and where we
live in that enormous vastness. Our planet was a speck in the lower
right corner! The speaker (I'm too tired to go upstairs and find the
bullentin with his name on it... forgive me) kept showing pictures like
the sun, the birth and death of a star. He explained how long it would
take us to get to the other galaxies and how it would take all
the energy of the US over a period of a few trillion years to be able
to run the sun for one second! Then he went way out and showed us even
more amazing stuff that was how ever many light years away. Finally, he
said he had one more image to show us, and this one was the furthest we
could go. It was a picture of our Lord Jesus Christ on the cross.
GIRLLLL, I lost it!!!! Normally my eyes water because of this new
makeup I'm trying, but this time it was because I caught a glimpse of
just how great and wonderful and awesome and powerful and words that i
don't have to describe how indiscribable my God is! He called the
stars by name all kazillion of them and yet he knows my name and wants to listen to me!!
That is too great for me to understand! I wanted to run and cry and
shout and sing how great my God is!!!! But all I could do was stand
there and cry and allow my soul to be humbled. This is how Moses must
have felt when he wanted to see God's glory and God only allowed him to
see the tail end of him.
And here I am mad,upset,worried,
about all the things that seem so big to me right now. Yes, they are
important, but I can't lose focus of Who loves me and how big He is.
Chris Tomlin said it best:
Indescribable,uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God
All powerful,untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God
Incomparable,unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amaing God
You are amazing God
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