Feb. 17, 2008 - God's Perfect Timing
I know I've shared some of this before, but I wanted to share what happened today, too. Some of this is just me rambling, but I hope you are blessed.
A little over a year ago when we were sure God wanted us to sell our house and move to the country? And nothing happened? Not a thing. No one wanted our house. We took it off the market after 8 weeks of nothing.
Then this fall, our house sold after a one time showing that an agent asked us about and we moved to a great house in the country. Our house wasn't even on the market, an agent asked us to let him show it. And it sold. For our asking price. That could have been the end of this story- and we made good money and are happy so it would have been an good story.
But this is not a good story, it's a great story.
A redemption story.
The couple that bought our house told us they weren't 'spiritual and had no interest in spiritual things.' But we invited them to church anyway. The wife and kids have been coming.
Today at church, the lady that bought our house came forward. (We don't have an invitation, she had meet with the pastor and elders over the week.) She had accepted Christ as a result of our church. She was at our church because we invited her kids to come to AWANA when they first moved here in October. People at our church loved her.
Her husband isn't a Christian and isn't coming to church- but he's started coming to church parties and outings. Baby Steps, right?
Well, today she came before the church and said that our selling them our house had changed all of eternity. Can you feel how BIG that is? All of her eternity is different now, because of Jesus! Now her dc were being raised in church, with a mom that loved Jesus, that was committed to praying for their salvation and the salvation of their father. She asked our church to commit to praying for her dh. She wants her whole family in Heaven one day. She wants them all to walk with God now. I was so moved by her humility and her sincerity. It was like a different person that the lady I met in October when we closed on our home.
So, I was thinking, this was all part of God's plan for her. She needed Jesus way more than we needed to move a year earlier.
It was all part of God's plan for us, too.
The house we would have bought then would have been much farther from my dd's therapies and tutoring than the one we bought this year. It was 20 miles farther out than this house.
So, yes, the housing market is bad - but God is bigger than that. And sure, we didn't get what we thought was our dream house- but this home is so much more what we needed.
And now I have a new sister in Christ. And her son sits with us every church service just like he's part of the family. And I pray that he will be soon!
I guess I'm just telling you this because sometimes we grow so impatient and we can't see what God is doing. But I'm starting to see that what He is doing is writing redemption stories. Parts of them are ugly and dark, but in the end, they are beautiful, filled with His glory.
Hope in Him. He causes all things to work together for good! I'm trying to burn that into my heart. It's been a terribly hard week at our house. And God gave me this reminder at church today. He knew what my heart needed! He cares for me!
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Jan. 10, 2008 - Tomorrow, I become the mother of a teenager!
Where have the years gone? How can my son be turning 13 tomorrow? He's very excited! We are having a party at the local indoor putt-putt place on Saturday for his friends. But tomorrow, I wanted to be just a family day. We are having his favorite meal for dinner.
I've spent the last month getting letters from important men in his life to him. (Dad, grandfathers, uncles, pastor, AWANA leaders, coaches, etc.) I asked them all to write a note of encouragement telling him what they thought the most important thing for him to know during his teen years and beyond was. It has been so neat to read these letters, and realize how very much people love and care for my ds.
We will give him the scrapbook tomorrow night after dinner, along with his other gifts. I don't think he will value the letters too much right now, but as he gets older, I think he will. We want to encourage him and uplift him tomorrow night. I hope he will see that many men have walked before him, and followed after God, and prayed for him. Almost every letter says something like, "I'm here if you ever need me. I want to be there to support and encourage you. I always wanted that when I was a teenager and never had it."
Isn't it sad that so many of these men felt alone during their teen years. They felt they had no one to turn to, that they had to figure it out on their own. They are all men that we love and respect, and I'm thankful that they took the time to share some of their life with my son. What a great thing- to have godly men going before you, helping you on your way.
So, I'm feeling a little nostalgic today. Looking at photos of the 5lb baby I delivered, and finding it hard to believe he has become such a beautiful young man. He's all excited, and I'm excited too, but at the same time, I'm a little sad. He's not a little boy anymore and every day he is moving farther from me. I love who he is becoming but I miss the little guy who ran into my arms when he fell, or who would just pop into a room and say, "I love you, mom."
Good grief, I'm babbling. I guess I just needed to get all of that out. It's probably crazy sounding. Pray for us as we embark up on this new frontier for our family!
Teenager??? Yikes!
Proverbs 22:6
6 Train up a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.
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Oct. 31, 2007 - My Journey into the Light
I have always hated Halloween.
In the past, we've stayed home, in the dark and been almost afraid all day- of what this day stands for. We taught our kids about the dark history of the day and why we don't participate. But last year, God taught me something different. (Please don't feel like I'm saying this is right for you. It's just where we are with this whole thing.)
Last fall, October started again. I dreaded the whole month leading up to Halloween. But God started reminding me, in little ways and some not so little ways that we are called to be Light to the darkness. Even on Halloween. That we have His light in us, and we shouldn't be hiding in our dark houses on Halloween, afraid. That greater is He that is in us, than He that is in the world, that THIS is still the day the Lord has made, we should rejoice and be glad in it. I even thought He was telling us that He redeemed even this day with His precious blood. What Satan had started as evil, God wants to use as good.
These were HUGE things for me. At one point, I was literally sick to my stomach over it all. It was so opposite of all I had believed.
We decided that Halloween was the only night of the year that unbelievers willing came to our door and asked us for something. Were we really going to keep hiding our Light under a bushel? So, we made great treat bags- with candy, and pencils about Jesus and tracks and more good candy. We turned on every light on our house. When the trick or treaters came, we gave them the bags. It was so fun! I pray that we planted a seed.
I doubt we have any trick or treaters here in the country, now that we've moved. So, I'm not sure what we will do tonight. But I am no longer afraid and neither are my children. This is God's day, too. We rejoice and are glad in it!
We will shine, somehow!
Matthew 5:16
In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
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Jun. 18, 2007 - He Cares for Me
Here's a little of what happened on our recent beach vacation.
The first day, my special daughter cried all day. She didn't like the waves. She
was scared. She kept saying, "We need to go home. Something bad will
happen here." She stayed up all night. Crying, saying that same thing.
I started to believe that she was right. And I started to be
discouraged that she would never be OK. Her life would always be
so hard.
On Sunday (the second day) we went to the beach. She started it
all again. I went for a walk while my husband watched her. I started
praying. I'm not sure it's right to ask God for a sign, but I did. I
prayed, "God, please let me know everything will be alright. Give me
peace for this vacation. Give me peace for her life, no matter how hard it might be. Let me know she is in Your arms." Then I asked for something very specific. I said, "Please give me a sign. Let
me find a WHOLE sand dollar." I had never found a whole one. I don't know if it's right to lay out a fleece like that. I just did it.
When I got back to our spot on the beach, my son ran to me and said, "Look
what I found. A whole sand dollar." Great, I thought. God gave my
sign to him. So, I started walking the other way. I looked down. I
found a whole sand dollar. Then another. And another. By the time I
got back to our spot, I had 48 WHOLE sand dollars. We never saw another
one the whole week. They were gone. They were just there that morning.
They are all on my kitchen cabinet right now. I don't know what to do
with them. But they serve to remind me that God does care and He has a
plan for a future and a hope for my daughter. And for me.
Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)
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May. 22, 2007 - Birthdays
Thirty-three years ago today, my life drastically changed. I was almost 7 years old, and my mom gave birth to my sister. She is my best friend. We've been through so much together. We've shared tears and heartache. We have grieved through our parents' divorce, the loss of our grandparents, and other personal problems. We've shared so many laughs. So many things that no one would understand but us. Often, when we are together, we don't even have to speak. We just know what we are thinking.
Eight years ago today, my life changed again. I gave birth to my first daughter! She joined my husband, son and I at 6:50 AM on my sister's 25th birthday. What a special time it was. What a special time it still is. She has had a wonderful birthday. My sister always takes her for the afternoon and they do something special. They both love it!
Tonight when they returned from their birthday outing, I served them both a steak dinner. My mom was here, so were all of our other children. We laughed and played and watched the kids play. How do they grow so quickly? Where does the time go? It seems like just yesterday I was bringing home my daughter from the hospital. I want to remember today. I want to remember the sound of her laugh. I want to remember my sister's smile. I want to treasure these things in my heart. When I am old, I want to reflect on the lives of these I love so dearly and remember that I, too, am loved.
Father, thank you for these wonderful gifts you have given me!
Psalm 118:24
24This is the day which the LORD has made;
Let us rejoice and be glad in it.
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May. 17, 2007 - Mourning
This week, my friend's 11 year old son died in a tragic accident. Her world is shattered. I spoke with her on the phone soon after it happened. She and her husband aren't Americans, but live here and minister Christ to others here. They have to younger children. All grieving. All missing Sam.
Tears are still coming easily here at my house. I keep thinking of Amy and how very much she is suffering, how her arms must be aching to hold her son. I keep looking at my children. Thinking of the unthinkable. Deciding that I will make the most of the time I have with my children, loving them, playing with them, teaching them.
Sam had recently given his heart to Jesus, so there is no doubt where he is. There is no doubt that his family will see him again. In the mean time, the ache seems too much to bear.
Another friend had the 1 year anniversary of her daughter's death this week. She is sure her daughter is safely in the arms of Jesus now. Her daughter was born with lots of handicaps, but now she is whole and perfect and living in the perfect love of Jesus. The family refers to it as her 'Coronation Day.' What a beautiful thought that is.
Please pray for my friends, missing their children, feeling like their hearts are being torn. Pray that they know that God is carrying them through this most difficult time.
1 Thes. 4:
13 But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. 14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus.[a]
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May. 13, 2007 - Mother's Day Gardening
Each year on Mother's Day, I get new flowers for my flower gardens. As I was planting them yesterday, on my knees with my dirty hands, I thought about how gardening is like being a mother. I tend my garden and my children daily. I water and feed and weed and protect both. I love the beauty that they bring to my life, but they also bring a lot of work.
I also realized how very little power I actually have on the outcome of either. I can't make a flower grow. I can't stop a late freeze from coming. All I can do is keep protecting and pulling out the weeds. For our children, I can teach them and train them and pray for them every day. But at some point, they will have to be responsible for their lives. God send rain and sun and warmth and cold into our lives for different reasons. I pray that I can plant good things in the hearts of my children and that when they are old, they will still be following Him.
Psalm 103:
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
15 As for man, his days are like grass,
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
16 the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
17 But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD's love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children's children-
18 with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.
19 The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.
20 Praise the LORD, you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.
21 Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will.
22 Praise the LORD, all his works
everywhere in his dominion.
Praise the LORD, O my soul.
By the way, this year, I had to buy my plants myself. My kids got me a Wii!
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Mar. 5, 2007 - The Love of God
This is what God has been teaching me. Maybe it's for you, too. I struggle with being good enough or guilty or something. I've not done anything really bad- but I still struggle with believing that God sent His son for ME. Could it really be THAT simple? That all the wrongs I have done and all the wrongs done to me were nailed to the cross with Him and I can be free? (Am I making any sense??) Can I learn to not be afraid? Can I just be me and let the God of the universe pour His love out in me, to me and through me.
God is love, but He allows such terrible things in the world. Why doesn't he just come and stop all this? Does He remember what it was like down here? Did He ever feel lonely? Did He just get tired? Doesn't God just seem hard to understand sometimes?
But then I always return to His love. Think what it cost Him. Think what He is really offering us. Not rules, not morality or money or things we have to do. Think how different the world would be if we truly believed we are securely loved by God. We would be able to interact with poor people and be judgemental. We could love others and not expect them to save us or redeem us. What if we really, in the deepest part of our soul believed that God just loved us. Just because we are His. We wouldn't get angry when we didn't get our way. We would be wise. We would be giving.
And I think we would give up on religion. There would be nothing to be gained by checking off our spiritual 'to do' list. We would love mercy, do justly and walk humbly with our God- out of love, not out obligation or fear or even worse, duty. Just because we are free, because we are loved. We would help people. We wouldn't judge them, because there would be no need to make ourselves feel good about ourselves. We wouldn't compare ourselves.
What would happen if instead of sending fighting, we really loved people. What if we were not afraid to die? What if we loved them, really loved them, turning the other cheek to our enemies? We may die. But that is happening anyway. We are dying. But if we kept loving them, would they soften. Love is really the only thing that can change people. At least I'm starting to believe that. If instead of fighting with each other, if we were free to love, with God's love wanting nothing in return, I think we really could change people. One at a time.
I'm rambling and the kids are hungry so I will close with this verse:
I Peter 4:
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
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Feb. 26, 2007 - Faith Like A Child
I thought I'd share about a miracle that happened here this week. I'm still stunned by what God has done.
Last week, we learned that the farm where my daughter rides horses was closing. We lease a pony for her there and the letter said that all leases were ending and so were the lessons. My daughter was heartbroken. She cried and cried. And I cried for her. I started immediately trying to find a replacement for her, but everything was much more expensive. Our budget is tight and spending more money wasn't really an option.
We kept praying, knowing that we had to go Sunday afternoon and say goodbye to Danny, our beloved pony. We were to pick up our helmet and things then, too. I kept praying for a suitable substitute. But my daughter kept asking for a miracle. She only wanted Danny.
When we got to the farm, we were the last family scheduled. The owner/teacher said that our daughter was very special to her, because she has a son with special needs, too. She had decided at the last minute that we could continue to lease Danny! She will also keep teaching our daughter. And she wants to do it all for FREE now! Her business is closed, so she doesn't want us to pay her. We were shocked. Silent with surprise. But our daughter wasn't. She turned to me and said, "I knew God would make a way. I believed Him, even when you didn't."
I wept tears of joy. I wept tears of conviction, too. I had been afraid to pray to keep Danny. I didn't believe it could happen, so I didn't even ask. But she had begged and then believed. Now, I'm praying that I can have the faith of a child and ask my Father for the desires of my heart, boldly approaching His throne because of His great love for me. It seems I forget how much He loves me, and my children. I'm so thankful that he never grows tired of showing me His love!
Matthew 7:11
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Feb. 22, 2007 - He is no fool-
Recently, I've been tired. I've been stressed, sick and overwhelmed. I've not enjoyed my children and I have resented homeschooling. I even asked my husband if he really thought homeschooling was worth sacrificing my life for. I sometimes feel like I have very little of me left by the time I care for the children, the house, etc. I have no time for hobbies or fun or just for me. I'm sure lots of moms feel this way.
Then God reminded me of Jim Elliot and the other missionaries martyred in Ecuador more than 50 years ago. He reminded me of the famous statement Jim Elliot made:
He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.
I saw it then. I can give my free time, my hobbies, my health, all things I cannot keep in eternity to gain the souls of my children. I can give my sleep, my wants to gain disciples for the Kingdom of God. It is not in vain that I am giving of my life, though I may not see the return for a long time. Maybe not until we reach Heaven.
I have asked God to give me a new passion for my children and for their hearts. I want to impact them greatly. I want them to know the love of God. I don't want to whine or resent them. I want His love to flow through me to my family, my community and the world.
Phil. 3:
7 But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. 8 Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; 10 that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, 11 if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.
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Oct. 14, 2006 - Missing Someone You Barely Remember
Today, I was listening to an old Michael W. Smith song on my iPod. It's called Kentucky Rose. Maybe it's because I'm from KY, but I've always loved that song. It reminds me of my grandfather. He died when I was 11. We had lived far from him until June of the year he died. We moved near there in June, and he died in December. I became a Christian that summer, and since my grandfather was a pastor of a small church, he baptised me. It is one of my favorite memories.
He was a gentle man. I never heard him raise his voice. He was patient- although I'm sure now that we grandkids almost drove him crazy at times. He was a preacher, a farmer and a tailor. He and my grandmother never had much money. They had 4 children that lived to be adults. My mom had been a very sickly child and they raised her well, making lots of sacrifices to meet her medical needs.
He spoke of God's love like it was something he felt every day. He took care of my grandmother- who never learned to drive. I remember that he would run the vacuum cleaner for her. Back then, men didn't do much house work, but he did.
He had a huge garden every year, and he and my grandmother canned all the vegetables they would need until the next harvest. He always made sure there was plenty to give away, too.
I was 11 when he died. I still remember what people said about him at the funeral. He was a very short man, only 5'1. I remember so many people standing up saying they had never met a man who loved Jesus more. They didn't know anyone who had a bigger heart. They didn't know anyone who was so quick to spread the love of God around. It was the deep south- and my grandfather was white. But several African American people stood up and said that he loved them, just like he did everyone else. He invited them to come to his church, in Alabama, when no one else would. I remember a waitress from Woolworth's speaking of how he always gave her a good tip and told her Jesus loved her, too. He took me there with him as often as he could. It was his treat for us! We would stop and get a cherry coke there. That is still my favorite drink!
I hope one day, my children and grandchildren will have memories of me that are similar to this. I hope that the love my grandfather had for me when I was a child spills out to my children. I hope they see the love of Jesus in me, just like I saw it in my grandfather.
Psalm 103
17 But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD's love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children's children
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Oct. 3, 2006 - Jehovah El Shaddai
I've been studying some of God's names. They are all so meaningful, so telling. Today, the one that I find comfort in, that I am resting in is Jehovah El Shaddai--the God who is more than enough. There are so many things I am inadequate at. There are so many situations I can't understand. This world is such a scary place at times. But today, I worship the God who is more than enough.
He gives me more than enough love. And He expects me to give it away. He gives me more than enough mercy- and wants me to show it to others. He gives me more than enough grace, then asks me to walk in it. He gives me more than enough peace, and tells me to rest in the shelter of His wings.
He never gives me more burdens than I can bear. Although at times I question Him on this. He assures me that I will never bear them all alone, and that He really does have a plan and that He is working it out in me, in my family. Often I don't understand the world around me, the pain and the suffering I see. But He reminds me that He is Jehovah El Shaddai- the God who is more than enough, not just for me, but for the whole world. I don't have all the answers. I don't know why bad things happen. I know that God is able to redeem any situation. I know that His grace is sufficient for me. I know that when I am weak, He is strong.
May Jehovah El Shaddai--the God who is more than enough show Himself to you today. May He cause His face to shine upon you. May you rest in His unending love.
Psalm 136
1 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good.
His love endures forever.
2 Give thanks to the God of gods.
His love endures forever.
3 Give thanks to the Lord of lords:
His love endures forever.
4 to him who alone does great wonders,
His love endures forever.
5 who by his understanding made the heavens,
His love endures forever.
6 who spread out the earth upon the waters,
His love endures forever.
7 who made the great lights
His love endures forever.
8 the sun to govern the day,
His love endures forever.
9 the moon and stars to govern the night;
His love endures forever.
10 to him who struck down the firstborn of Egypt
His love endures forever.
11 and brought Israel out from among them
His love endures forever.
12 with a mighty hand and outstretched arm;
His love endures forever.
13 to him who divided the Red Sea asunder
His love endures forever.
14 and brought Israel through the midst of it,
His love endures forever.
15 but swept Pharaoh and his army into the Red Sea;
His love endures forever.
16 to him who led his people through the desert,
His love endures forever.
17 who struck down great kings,
His love endures forever.
18 and killed mighty kings
His love endures forever.
19 Sihon king of the Amorites
His love endures forever.
20 and Og king of Bashan
His love endures forever.
21 and gave their land as an inheritance,
His love endures forever.
22 an inheritance to his servant Israel;
His love endures forever.
23 to the One who remembered us in our low estate
His love endures forever.
24 and freed us from our enemies,
His love endures forever.
25 and who gives food to every creature.
His love endures forever.
26 Give thanks to the God of heaven.
His love endures forever.
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Sep. 23, 2006 - These are a Few of My Favorite Things-
In no particular order, here are somethings that make me smile. They comfort me when I'm distressed and raise my spirits when I'm down.
Watching my son study is Bible- just because he wants to
Seeing my four year old daughter dance
Hearing my seven year old daughter laugh
Cooking with my kids
Listening to my husband play his guitar
Watching my kids and my husband wrestle
Playing Yahtzee with my son
Walking our dog
Talking with friends
Doing anything with my sister
The ocean
Worshiping with other believers
Seeing my children play together joyfully
Reading a good book
Eating Pound Cake
Cherry Cokes
Watching a movie that I've seen so many times I know most of the words
Rainbows
Talking to my great aunt
Looking at old family photos
Going to the drive-in movie
Sleeping in on a rainy day
Helping a friend
Helping a stranger
Getting a sweet email from my husband while he is at work
Knowing that nothing can separate me from the Love of God
Ecclesiastes 3
12I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one's lifetime;
13moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor--it is the gift of God.
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Sep. 19, 2006 - Confessions of a Messie Housewife
I'll admit it. I've always been messy. It doesn't bother me if the laundry never gets put away after it is folded. My son has Legos dumped out? Oh well, it makes them easier to find. The girls have dolls and kitchen stuff every where? I'm glad they were having fun. I never make the beds- what if we want to take a nap later?
But I do seem to spend huge amounts of time just trying to find what we need. I spend lots of time just picking up things as well. And the house never looks very nice or inviting. I always feel like I'm behind on everything- and there is never time to do anything but try to keep my head above water!
All of that changed about 6 weeks ago. We decided to try to sell our house. I started cleaning. We got rid of so much stuff. We threw away so many things. We gave away even more. I sold things at a consignment sell. We had a yard sale. We de-cluttered. Then I started making the beds and doing laundry daily- having my 11 year old put it away when it was folded. I insisted that all toys were put away every day. School supplies are put up as soon as we are finished with them. If a realtor calls and wants to show the house, we are ready! My children have learned to clean as if we are cleaning for God's glory. I taught them the verse that says "Whatever you do, do it all to the Glory of God." It makes a difference when you are working that way!
Guess what? Last week I realized, that once it was clean- it doesn't take much time to keep it clean. I have lots more time now. I can find what we need. I don't feel embarrassed if someone drops by. The house looks beautiful- and I like it! I have time and energy to play with my kids now! I think the key was the de-cluttering and just getting into the habit. All the beds are made daily. In fact, the house seems so inviting, I'm not sure I want to move now. It seems more manageable now! We are praying about that part!
I may be the only 'messie' here. But if I'm not- I encourage you to give it a try! I feel so much better, so much freer? (Is that a word?) My children like it and I know my husband loves it! I am glad to be a blessing to him!
1 Corinthians 10
31Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
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Sep. 9, 2006 - A Sad Day for My Son
This week, my son's first hero died. My son has loved Steve Erwin since Matt was about 5 years old. When he was six, Matt got his first pet lizard, a Leopard Gecko, which he quickly named Steve. When I was pregnant with my youngest, Matt was 7. He insisted that if the baby was a boy we would name him Steve. Fortunately, we had a girl!
When I told Matt of Mr. Irwin's death, he was surprised. He hasn't watched the show in a year or so- preferring Myth-busters now. But he was genuinely sad. He said, "Mom, he was my first hero. I had kind of outgrown him lately, but I still loved him." His next thoughts were this, "Was he a Christian?" I told him I didn't know, but I had never heard him mention Jesus. He teared up and said, "But every night since I was 6 years old, I have prayed for him to know Jesus."
I hugged my little boy. I had heard most of those prayers. I told him that maybe Steve Irwin had become a Christian. He was a good man and great husband and father. But that we really had no way of knowing, since Steve never spoke publicly about his faith. I had heard him speak of evolution, but beyond that, I just didn't know what he believed.
I tried to take the opportunity to tell Matt that we never know when we will die. We need to know that we know that Jesus is the Lord of our lives. He is the only way to the Father. Steve Irwin was a good man. He was famous, wealthy, well-loved. But none of those things were enough to get him to Heaven. Only the precious blood of Jesus could do that. I also told him that we need be diligent to tell others about the love of Jesus and His forgiveness.
Matt has decided to pray for Mr. Irwin's family, to pray for their peace and comfort and to pray that they will come to know the Father. He has decided to write them a letter telling them the Good News. Matt's tender heart is sad for this loss. I think he has grown up a little through this. I am praying his heart remains tender. I pray he finds heroes of the faith to be examples for him.
I pray my husband and I can fill that role, as well.
John 14: 6
6Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.
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Aug. 28, 2006 - There was a Rainbow Today
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Aug. 25, 2006 - Life and Death
One of my friends is battling breast cancer. The fight has been brutal. Surgeries, chemo, infections, fevers. She is a little younger than me. Beautiful- but ravaged by this disease. She has 3 children, like me. One has lots of special needs, like one of mine. She homeschools them all, like me. She loves her husband, her family and her God, like me. How did I find myself healthy? I am thankful for my health. And I realize more now than ever that youth and health is fleeting.
Over the last few months, we've cried together. I've tried to help with her children. I've taken meals, organized fund raisers and tried to be helpful. But it all falls short.
I remember one Sunday in church we were singing Blessed Be Your Name. When she started singing, "Blessed be Your name, on a road filled with suffering, though there is pain in the offering, Blessed be Your name, " I had tears running down my cheeks, so did she- and her husband and her 12 year old. If she can sing that- through everything, surely I can praise Him, too.
This past Sunday, the day before her last chemo, a month before her scheduled double mastectomy/ hysterectomy, we were singing I know My Redeemer Lives. She has lost all of her hair, lots of weight and is about to have part of her body surgically removed. When we got to these lines, I couldn't help but think of her. "Though my flesh it be destroyed, yet with my eyes, I will see God, For I know that my Redeemer lives, and I shall stand with Him on that day." Job said the words first, but my thoughts were of my friend. Her flesh is being destroyed. But she hasn't lost her faith. As her body has wasted away, her faith has grown. She has been an example to all of us.
So, if you read this far, please pray for my friend and her family. She still has surgeries to face. Genetic testing has shown she may have cancer again- and within the next few years. My heart weeps for her and her children. She continues to fight well, but to be honest about how hard the struggle is. She wants to be healthy, to play with her children, to enjoy her husband. For now, she isn't able to do those things very often. But she still chooses to say, "Blessed Be Your Name."
Job 19:
25 For I know that my Redeemer lives,
And He shall stand at last on the earth;
26 And after my flesh is destroyed, this I know,
That in my eyes I shall see God.
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Aug. 16, 2006 - A Trip to Wal-Mart
Last night, one of my friends' husband called. Her birthday is Friday- she's turning 40. He asked if I'd bake her a Barbie cake like I did for my daughter this year. I said sure.
So- about 11 AM today, I decided to go to Wal-Mart and pick up a few things I needed for the cake. I knew I was pushing the limits with my dear children- they'd want lunch soon, but hey, I only needed a few things. We ran through Wal-mart, got our things and went through the self check-out.
My kids were starting to get antsy, especially my middle child. I sent my oldest to get everyone a Sprite out of the Coke machine- and to get me a Dr. Pepper. I love Dr. P's- but don't have them often. This was a real treat!
Some how, I dropped my check card as I was paying. It slid between the conveyor belt and the cabinet. There was no way to get it. I had to get help. The lady told me to just cancel the card and get a new one. But I asked for a manager. (My husband works at the bank, I probably should have called him and followed the lady's advice. Read on- you'll see why!)
The manager says they can shut down that check out lane and take the thing apart and retrieve my card, but it will take a little while. He goes to get a screw driver while I open every one's drinks. As soon as he returns, I open my Dr. P. It spewed all over the guy. I mean every where. We were both drenched!
The lady cashier went for paper towels and my 11 yo is trying to die from embarrassment. The manager, still wet with my drink, is in the floor taking apart the whole unit. He finally gets it apart- and there sits my card!
He said that had never happened before. Doesn't surprise me- my life has never been 'ordinary!' So- 2 hours later, we are just getting home from a trip that should have taken about 45 minutes. My hands are still sticky. And my son is still laughing. On the way to the car I felt led to sing, This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!' I am not sure the manager of Wal-Mart is singing it with me, however!
My heart has been heavy lately. I've felt oppressed and overcome with sadness. I am thankful that God sees fit to bring laughter into our lives to remind of His joy. He sets a song in my mouth. I will choose to praise Him!
Psalm 126
Thanksgiving for Return from Captivity.
A Song of Ascents.
1When the LORD (A)brought back the captive ones of Zion,
We were (B)like those who dream.
2Then our (C)mouth was filled with laughter
And our (D)tongue with joyful shouting;
Then they said among the nations,
"The LORD has (E)done great things for them."
3The LORD has done great things for us;
We are (F)glad.
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Aug. 10, 2006 - The Desires of My Heart
Is it wrong that we desire to move out of this very nice house in a subdivision and move into an old farm house? I know it would be lots of work. The house itself needs so much work. The land would be more to take care of, too. This house we have now is in good condition, everything is 5 years old. But the yard is so small. Our neighbors are so close to us. There isn't much room for my kids to play outside. People keep telling me that I must be crazy. Some have even said we are selfish and should just be content to live where we are. Are they right? Or is this longing from God?
We are happy here. We like this house a lot. It's 5 years old. But it's not really what my heart desires. My heart desires to be somewhere we can have a garden, where my kids can play and roam. My heart wants to spend time working in the yard and playing with my kids. My heart wants a little patch of land where we can raise our family. Are we wrong for desiring this change?
Our mortgage payments wouldn't change really, utilities would be about the same, so would the insurance. It's 3 miles from here- so not much of a location change. Why do I feel like I need to justify this desire? Why do the people I love keep questioning me? Is God trying to tell us to stay here? Or is someone trying to stop the desires God has given us? It's been a long time since I allowed myself to really hope for anything. The prospect of living on the little farm has been so wonderful.
Our house is advertised in the paper tomorrow. Please pray for God to work miraculously- either selling this house quickly, or showing us that He wants us to stay here. I know He has a plan for our lives, a plan for a Hope and a Future!
Psalm 37 :
3Trust in the LORD and do good;
Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.
4Delight yourself in the LORD;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
5Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him, and He will do it.
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Jul. 28, 2006 - My Sister and Uncle Johnny
The following is a short story I wrote about my sister. She is incredibly unique. The story is true, although her memory is faulty!
My Sister and Uncle Johnny
Most children make up stories. Stories about ponies, princess, knights and dragons. Stories about cowboys, Indians and soldiers. But not my sister. My sister made up stories about Johnny Cash. I've never known where she even heard his name. We didn't have a television growing up, not much exposure to radio. So, I've never been sure why she developed this fascination with Mr. Cash. But she did.
As long as I can remember, my sister has believed that Johnny Cash was a family friend. She told stories of how Mr. Cash, dressed in his customary black, would get off a train near our home. In her stories, he would walk to our house, carrying- of all things- a fiddle. He would come in, visit, eat dinner (or supper, as we in the South call it) and play his fiddle. I don't think he played a fiddle in real life, but at our house, he always did. My sister said it was easier to get on the train. He always came alone, although June often sent her regards.
My sister was so sure, so convincing, that soon I began to 'remember' his visits, too. He became part of our family, like an uncle everyone loves. We spoke of him often. Wondered when he would visit again. Wondered how his life was going. Was he well? How were his children? Did they know about us?
As she grew older, Uncle Johnny's visits became less frequent. My sister still spoke of him and remembered him fondly, but by the time she was in high school, his visits had stopped completely. She was outgrowing him. She was outgrowing her need to make believe. It was a little sad for all of us.
When Johnny's wife died a few years ago, we were all sad. My sister and I drove to Nashville to see the funeral procession. We were never sure if the hearse we saw was June's. But it didn't really matter. We believed it was. But when Johnny Cash died, we held a wake. It was at my house. The whole family came; all dressed in black, of course. We ate, shared stories and listened to a Johnny Cash CD that my father had bought just for the occasion.
It was that night that I realized that I didn't know one single Johnny Cash song. Funny thing is- neither did my sister!
