• Jun. 24, 2006
Here I am...please drop the charges (ha ha)

I am sorry that I have been so long in posting...not too much goes on around here though.  Have you all heard of  Terri Blackstock?  She is a WONDERFUL christian fiction writer and I am hooked on her books!!!!  I have read 3 or 4 already this month...The ones I am reading right now, BOO got me hooked on The Cape Refuge Series..... check them out if you have not read her...they are great and yes, I am blessed to have time to read 4 or 5 books a month...but that also tells you that I must have no life!!!   Anyway, I did have the awesome opportunity to share my testimony along with my dh last sunday night...I was also given the opportunity to sing..which does not happen often, so I love it when I get to...anyway there is so much history behind why it is so special to me and so worshipful to me but I won't go into that now...let me just say that I don't know what all was going on around me, but I know that I was truly worshiping...  probably one of the first times ever...where I just let it all hang out if you know what I mean??? It was probably not the best vocally but spiritually it was great for me.  My music pastor asked me yesterday how it went as he was out that night, and I told him it was awesome...he asked me awesome how???? and I was able to tell him about it.  It is worship to me to be able to tell others what God has done for me..how He plucked me from my sinful life and drew me to Himself...now, I am still sinning everyday, but, becasuse of the Grace and Mercy of the Lord, sin does not rule me like it used to.  "Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift"

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• Jun. 7, 2006
Do you have a mentor?

You know, an older godly lady that is not your peer....she is your friend, but she also will tell you the hard things, and point you back to scripture?  I may have blogged about this before, but I want to talk about it again..I used to think it was not that important to have someone mentor me..I thought it meant that I was unable to handle things on my own..(suprise, I need help) anyway, I HIGHLY SUGGEST EVERYONE GET A MENTOR!!!  I had the joy of spending time with mine today and I always walk away feeling refreshed and challenged at the same time...My mentor is someone who really listens to me and thinks about her answer before she blurts out what she wants to say.  Many times, she says things that I do not want to hear, but at the same time, it is easy for me to hear them because I know she loves me and wants the best for me.  So, if you are in need of a mentor, pray and ask God to show you a lady in your church who is like what you HOPE to be someday...and talk to her about it...and, if you desire to reach out to a younger lady in your church that you feel is in need or could use some outside input into her life, ask the Lord to lead you in that area...you will not regret it.

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• Jun. 5, 2006
Tired but not sleepy ???!!!!!

it does'nt even make sense.  I know  but that is what is going on right now.  It happens from time to time and I am sure you all know what I mean.  I am really very tired.  It was a nice weekend but very busy.  Dh did some long overdue projects at home and we worked in the yard, and he was home today as well, and we worked in the yard some more.  Alot got done, but I can not seem to "unwind" .

I have a lot on my mind I guess and I can't seem to turn it off.  We have some things coming up this month that I am thinking about, and some friends and family members who need praying for and I guess that is all......well, maybe there is a little more but in the grand scheme of things, I don't think there is much to be anxious about.  My body on the other hand is telling me otherwise.  Pray for me if you read this...I know that my time with the Lord has been off for the past week or so and that is HUGE!!!  I need to make Him first again and get my focus straight!!!  Does this ever happen to you?  It's like the snowball effect.....one day missed turns into a month?  Well, maybe not that long, but yeah, maybe so....anyway..thanks to those of you who do read this and who do pray for me.  I need it!!!

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• May. 25, 2006
Saying "goodbye"

I recently had the great honor to be with my grandpa as he breathed his last breath on Wednesday the 24th.  To some this is a very difficult thing and very well so, but if you knew my family at all, you would have been there too.  Way too long of a story to go into but, needless to say, he was 93 years old and had lived a very full life.  He was in the hospice unit of Sparks Regional Hospital in Ft. Smith Arkansas and let me tell you, there is a special place in heaven for those nurses.  On the day he died, 2 others had gone on as well, which meant those nurses had been very busy.  I appreciate all that they do and am so greatful for their service to my family.  Now, I may not have said that dh and I were suppossed to go on a missions trip with our church this weekend through next week but now, we are not able to go.  Not too big of a price to pay for the chance to honor the Lord and comfort a dying man as his journey in life was coming to an end.  As I have said before, make each day count.  Call an old friend, forgive someone for hurting you in the past, and make each day count, when it comes to the end, it will have all been worth it!!!!!

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• May. 17, 2006
In Memory

Can you believe how quickly time passes by?  Sometimes it is really unbelievable to me that it goes so fast.  Today marks 10 years that my wonderful dad has been in heaven with the Lord.  I know that a lot of people don't dwell on these dates, and it is not as though I am "dwelling" I am not stuck (thanks be to God) but, I do want to pause and share some things with you about the kind of man my daddy was.  But, before I do that, I have to say thank you to boo and her sister and sister in law who put up with me in January of this year while on a cropping trip.  I worked on a memory album of my dad that weekend and at times, it got heavy, but just like the friend she is, boo was right there with me....so, thanks, you don't know how much it helped me to be able to get this done.  I think back over the time of my dads sickness and the time after his death and I think what gets me most upset is the thought that he will be forgotten.  I was 20 years old when he died and we had a very unique relationship.  My kids will only know him through the stories I tell and the few pictures that I have.(which is a remider to all of you, take a lot of pictures, put yourself in those pictures and do it while you are still healthy!!!  For some reason, there is a gap in our family history where there are no pictures for my teenage years) I know that he is with the Lord and that gives me great comfort, yet, there are times that I literally ache inside for him.  I went through all the "typical" emotions that one who has just suffered a loss goes through, and there are pockets of time that I just can not remember.  But enough about the sad stuff, let me just tell you a few great things about my dad.   One really neat thing about him is that when he was a small boy, his parents told him he could play any instument that he wanted to play, and he chose an accordion...he loved it and he used to play it for us sometimes.  I know that I am so much like him, I get my drive and determination from him...he wanted to join the Navy and he was a year too young at the time, so he and his sister changed some info on his birth certificate to reflect his dob as being 5/14/1950 and got him into the Navy!! (no, I do not forge and do not condone it but, you have to admit, that is clever....it would never fly today though!!!

There are many stories that I could tell about my dad, but I will leave you with this, remember that your parents had never been parents before they had you, remember that they love you and they just want the best for you.  Remember that they were once kids so they understand what you might be going through and know this, it is never easy to lose them.  Think about this today...we are not promised tomorrow, take hold of today, tell your kids you love them, thank your mom and dad for being your parents and make some memories, because before you know it, the time could be gone.  I will forever miss my dad.  I am the way I am today due in large part to who he was (good, bad and ugly!!) But, he was brave, strong and a fighter!!!  I love you daddy and I miss you!!!!

In memory

May 14, 1949 - May 17, 1996

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• May. 15, 2006
Care Group

I am so blessed to be part of a church that encourages fellowship outside of Sunday morning worship.  We have what we call home care groups and they meet on the 2nd and 4th Sunday nights of the month.  In that care group, we share prayer requests and just minister to each other when babies come or loved ones die...things like that...it is a real blessing...now, a lot of times, it makes me tired because there are a lot of differing personalities in there and each person has his/her own idea of the way things should be...including myself but, I just wanted to share that we have been talking about true salvation and how it is all of God and none of man but at the same time, man does have some responsibility to respond.. it gets a little tough to understand.  But, what I wanted to say in this blog is that people have different "conversion" experiences...some people can tell you where they were and what happend and things like that, and last night, we were talking about the verses in Matthew 7 about false and true teaching and then about the true way into the kingdom which is Matt 7: 21-23.. Not everyone who says to me Lord, Lord, shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father in heaven.  Many will say to Me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name and done many wonders in Your name?  And then I will declare to them, "I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!" and it got me thinking about my own conversion and as my dh and I were praying before bed last night, I was once again moved to tears at the thought that the Lord would save me... (one thing that I am sure you can tell about me by now is that I think a lot but have a hard time getting complete thoughts together in a meaningful sentence.)  I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't have an exact time that I can pin point the Lord capturing my heart, but I know that He has!!!!  I can look back over choices I have made in life and think about they way I was living and feel such grief that I was naming the name of Christ.  I struggle everyday as most christians do, to be like Christ.. One girl in our care group last night said it well when she said that she was sure that if someone held a gun to her head this very moment and told her to die for Christ, she would do it in a heart beat, but if the same person told her that she was going to die a little each day for Christ, she might have second thoughts because the thought of dying all at once is easier to think about than having to suffer or die a little each day.  But, we are called to die to ourself each day and that is sometimes so very hard.  Anyway, do any of you listen to Phillips craig & Dean?  They have a song that I prayed back to the Lord last night and it is a song that is in my heart still today..the words are...

" Your grace still amazes me, Your love, is a mystery, each day I fall on my knees, 'cause Your grace still amazes me... it's deeper, it's wider, it's stronger, it's higher than anything my eyes can see.....

Thank you Lord for Your grace!

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• May. 12, 2006
Comforting verses

Nothing really going on here with me....in my quiet time today, I came across these verses that were a comfort to me as I strive to walk upright before the Lord:

1 Sam 12:20-22  Then Samuel said to the people, " Do not fear!"  "You have done all this wickedness; yet do not turn aside from following the Lord, but serve the Lord with all your heart.  And do not turn aside; for then you would go after empty things which can not profit or deliver for they are nothing.  For the Lord will not forsake His people, for His great name sake because it has pleased the Lord to make you His people." 

Thank you Lord that because You chose me, I do not have to fear!  Thank you that Your word is a lamp unto my feet and light unto my path.  Father help me to remember that as the world tells us that these empty things are good and that they make us "feel better", Your world tells us that they can not profit or deliver and they are empty!  Thank you that you are pleased to choose me and I ask that today you give me courage and boldness as I strive to walk with You.  I love you Lord and I thank you for the great fellowship that I have with you and I pray that You will continue to draw me to you!    "Oh draw me Lord, and I will run after You!!!!

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• May. 4, 2006
My problem is......

Well, my problem is that I am not patient!   And, please don't pray for me in that regard!!!  (ha!ha!) I have such an old computer that it is literally about a 20 min process to get on line so I have to have the time to devote to it.  It is better at different times of the day than others but you know, I just don't like having to wait.  Also, I only have one phone line so if I am in the middle of blogging, and my phone rings, I can tell the computer to ignore the call, but about 90% of the time, it boots me off anyway and I have to start over.  !  Don't get me wrong though, I am so thankful that I even have a computer and that I have the time to do the fun things that I want to do.  So, I do not want to be complaining....just letting you know why sometimes I don't blog for a while.  I am trying to get better. 

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• May. 1, 2006
Great day!

Yesterday was so great!  It is always a blessing to see people follow the Lord in obedience of Baptisim.  We had 7 yesterday and 2 were very special because they were teens who were baptised by their fathers.  And one was very awesome due to the nature of the persons life...It is just always so great to see how the Lord is working.  We also had a guest speaker who was so humble yet brilliant.  I love my pastor but it so nice sometimes to have a guest in the pulpit to mix things up a bit.  The speaker was a wonderful man who preached to us on "How to live holy in an unholy world"...I walked away with so many things going through my mind and then at evening worship, there was a question and answer session (as he has written many books on paganism and the world today) and he just kept coming back to grace and love which are 2 of my favorite words.  So I am challenged even again to live what I believe but to do so with grace and love.

Have a great Monday

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• Apr. 29, 2006
Interesting Tidbit....

For some strange reason, people who know me very well are interested and shocked to find out that I am rather shy.  Some people would say that shy people are really not shy, they are just self absorbed, and crave attention.  I don't think that is true of me although it might be, I don't really have a lot of time to sit around and psychoanalyze it (sp?)  But, sometimes I do struggle with social situations that are new to me or that I have to meet and greet people.  Now, do not get me wrong, I am very social....in comfortable situations..that is the catch.  I have a wonderful friend in my life who understands this about me and actually called me on it not long ago...she said it did not surprise her one bit that I struggle with this but she did challenge me to get past it and to consider that the others around me may be dealing with the same insecurities...so basically she was saying I needed to "put my big girl panites on and get over it"!    Now, I digress... once, boo and I were at a weekend crop (that is where you go and work on your scrap book for the whole weekend with no dh's and no dk's and lots of junk food and stuff like that) and sometimes, the most fun is to listen to the other conversations going on around you because generally you don't know everyone there so, one morning really early, we were in the crop room and we overheard these other ladies talking and one said..." well, I just told her to get her big girl panties on and get over it!" and I thought that I would die from laughing so hard, so now, you sort of know where that comes from.  Anyway, back to me....(maybe I do have a problem with attention ) kidding....so, if you ever meet me or you are in a crowd and you see someone who looks like they might be nice to talk to, you remember this blog and think to yourself that they might just be shy, but, as I have stated above, it could be that they are just plain stuck up, which is not the case with me!!!  and, I will work harder to stretch myself when I am nervous or afraid.  Thanks for listening!!!!!

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• Apr. 28, 2006
I am not in a funk........

it just seems that way I guess because I have not blogged in a while.  I love blogging, I am just lazy and don't take the time to do it most of the time.  But, these past few days have been great!  My friend (boo4baby) has been over doing laundry as she has a bad well and can't use her water.  I am not sure that all of you know what she has been through with this.  She can't drink her water, or cook with it and it has turned everything orange!!!!  When she gets city water, I think her ds6 is going to be shocked to see that toilet water should be clear!  He might not understand although he is a smart boy.  Also, I can't wait to see what color her dd's hair will turn out to be as they both have light hair that has been turning reddish blonde now.  Yet, I digress.  It is so nice to have her in my life, she listens to me and challenges me as well.  My dh and I are working on reevaluating our budget or as most of you might suspect coming up with one for the first time!!!!     Ha !!! Anyway, since I came home from work in January things have been wonderful but we have not been wise!  Thanks be to God though that things are not so far gone that we can't turn it around.  So these past 2 days have been great with my friend here as she has brought a TON of books over on the subject.  In case you don't know, my friend LOVES books and I am so glad because she shares with me and that is the best.  Anyway, we are getting on track so I am really going to have to deny myself (which is not going to be as painful as I may claim) and show dh that my coming home was and is the best thing for us.  So, thanks for letting me go on and on and I will be blogging more later!!!!

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• Apr. 20, 2006
Blessed

WoW,  I have been so blessed this week.  Yes, I did turn 30 on the 18th...not that big of a deal, but my friends are amazing.  My friend (boo4baby) is wonderful and I am so blessed to be part of her life.  First, she has helped my dh plan a little get together for me on Saturday which, he was pretty stressed over and then, on my actual day, she planned a lunch with some friends.  Not only that, but she does "family birthday dinner" and you get to pick out what you would like to eat and what type of dessert you want and let me tell you that the girl can cook and man can she bake...anyway, needless to say, it was so nice and lots of fun.  Thanks also to everyone who stopped by to send me a birthday wish.  I appreciate it.  Girlfriend, you know I love you and I am so thankful for you.!!!!!!!!

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• Apr. 7, 2006
great verses

    Regardind my post on 4/5...my time with the Lord today produced this verse.....Prov 12:16 A fools wrath is known at once, but a prudent man covers shame.

Other comforting verses from today..Ps 73:28 But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I might declare all Your works.

ps 78:38-39 But He being full of compassion forgave their iniquity and did not destroy them.  Yes, many a time He turned His anger away and did not stir up all His wrath, for He remembered they were but flesh, a breath that passes away and does not come again.

and one more on a little different note... Luke 11:10 For everyone who asks receives and he who seeks finds and to him who knocks, it will be opened. 

What I found so interesting about the Luke passage is in vs 8, it is talking about a persons persistance and my  commentary says that the meaning for persistance in this verse is urgency, boldness being relentless and then it says, "like the persistant asking of a desperate beggar" 

O Lord, I am a desperate beggar!  I want it to be said of me that I am a prudent man and that I am persistant in my quest for truth and holy living.  Father, thank you that you do turn your anger away and remember that I am but dust.  Lord, thank you for your longsuffering and patience with me.  Help me to draw near to you and declare all your marvelous works!!

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• Apr. 5, 2006
Humility is exhausting!!

  Have you ever thought that would like to just stay where you are for a time?  I mean spiritually?  Just when I think that I am doing great and sailing smoothly, the Lord in His kindness provides a humbling experience.  No need to go into it but I am sooooo tired that I think if I do go to sleep, I might crash and sleep for a while.  Thank you Lord that even though it hurts, you do not let us stay where we are.  You are growing me in my sanctification and I am so blessed.  Isn't that the title to my blog...."joy in the journey"?  I find myself praying for joy in the midst of what is going on in my heart.  Remember a few times back, I said that Jeremiah 17:9 was a dear verse to me?  Well, once again, I must rehearse the truth of this verse and meditate upon a few others as well.  So, don't be like me and wish to stay where you are...because of Gods love for you, He will not let you go...we talked about it in AWANA even tonight.  Thank you Father that I am your sheep and I hear your voice and I AM persuaded that neither death nor life nor angels nor principalities nor powers nor things present nor things to come nor height nor depth nor any other creature shall seperate me from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus my Lord  !!!!!

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• Apr. 3, 2006
Thankful to serve

Have you ever been willing to serve someone and then walked away feeling so blessed ?  I want to just let you guys know about an awesome experience I had today.  Before I came home from working, I worked at a dental office and I met several really nice people and also a few not so nice ones.  Anyway, we had one patient from Honduras (I will call her "L") and sometimes, she could be very difficult to work with.  Well, long story short, one day we found out that she had been in a horse riding accident and was paralyzed from the neck down.  As time went on, we learned that her friend and neighbor was a member of our church and was ministering to her (it is likely that she is not a believer)...anyway I, along with several others, got involved in helping in whatever way we could and it began with a meal rotation for her family.  It is always a sweet time with her because she is such a joy and is in good spirits most of the time.  Well it was my turn to take dinner tonite and when I got there, she greeted me with a hug and kiss and introduced me to her sister and her aunt who were here from Honduras and her aunt can not speak english, so there was a lot of translation going on.  Anyway after about 45 minutes of visting, "L" asked me to pray before I left and as I reached for her hand, she invited her aunt and her sister to join hands with us and pray and her aunt began to tell her something so I asked "L" what she said, and she said her aunt wanted me to pray and then wanted "L" to translate so that she could "join" in the prayer.  Let me tell you, I have never experienced anything like that before.  It was amazing!!!  I don't even know what all I said, but I prayed and prayed and she translated and every once in a while, I could understand that aunt was praising the Lord and was thanking Him along with me.  I can't explain it, but it was very awesome.  I walked out of there so humbled and so in awe of the Lord and thanking Him for giving me the opportunity to be blessed by this family.  I used to be so nervous to pray in front of other people and I used to think really hard about how or what to pray, but tonite it didn't matter, I know the presence of the Lord was there and it was so awesome.  Thank you Father that You allow us access to your throne through Jesus Christ!!!  I thank you and I pray that you will give me more opportunities to share with others the Love of Christ.

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• Apr. 2, 2006
Finally Back!!!

Yes, I have been gone due to my password being forgotten.  Like I said I am still trying to get it all together.  I just want to take a quick minute and let you guys know that I think it is very kind of the Lord that He has given me such good friends.  My dh has been out of town with boo4babys dh and she has been so good to me.  As always.  And, if you did'nt know, she is my dear dear friend and I love her alot.  She puts up with a lot from me and ALWAYS loves me in spite of myself.  I love you friend and I did have a great time while the boys are away.  I love the kiddies and thank you thank you thank you for letting Milo come too.  He had a wonderful time as well!!!!  You are the best!  And thanks for all of the support from my new blogger friends... I look forward to playing catch up!

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• Mar. 14, 2006
An interesting day

Well, yesterday was just that.  Remember that I hit a deer a few weeks ago?  Well, I am just getting around to getting my car fixed.(yes, sometimes it takes me a while to get things done) I have a great insurance plan that allows $20 per day for a rental.  Well, I don't know how many of you have rented a car recently but 20 bucks ain't much.  Anyway since I knew I would have the car for about a week, I asked for the least expensive one since in addition to having to pay a portion of the rental, the sales tax for it is 19%Can that be legal?  Anyway, my $21.95 a day car is with my $20 allowance is going to cost me 1.95 per day but add the sales tax on and it is going to be a little less than $7 per day.  Which I know is not a lot, but man, I could not believe the sales tax.  Also, I drive an SUV and I live in the sticks so this little 4 cylinder car is a hoot to drive.  It makes me thankful once again for what I do have.  I have recently been slightly grumbling to my dh that my vehicle has over 100k miles and it is 8 years old..but, it IS a honda and you can generally drive those things to death.  But being without it for even one day has already made me thankful again for driving that thing.  Anyway...I just thought I would update anyone who reads my blog and let them know about it.  Also, if you have commented, I appreciate it!  I am still learning how to do this and get "friends" so bear with me.  Have a thankful day!!!

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• Mar. 9, 2006
It has been a while...

but I guess that is okay.  I thought that I would not blog again until I had something interesting to say and then it began to dawn on me that I might never be able to blog again  (ha ha) I am unable to sleep for some reason and so I thought that I would try this.  Do you ever have those times when you can't quite put your finger on what is going on in your head or heart?  Now, I realize that I am way more emotional that most...but, right now one verse that I almost daily bring to mind is Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked : who can know it?" I know that I can be overly sensitive, but believe it or not, I think I am getting better  .  With all that has gone on recently with the loss of Missey, I have really been thinking about things and I have had the opportunity to share with others (even though I never read any of her posts until a friend told me about her) the impact her life and death has had.  Over the weekend, I ran into an old flame which was not a big deal as I am very happily married.  But still, since I have moved from that  town I never run into old memories.  But the point is... I got to thinking about how different my life would be had I taken a different direction.  Now, I believe that the Lord had all this planned out long long ago, but still, you know I thougt about it and I found myself thanking God again for my dh and running to my hubby when I saw him and thanking him for marrying me.  I have joked in the past that God knew what He was doing by putting dh and myself together because no one else would have been able to handle dh but me, but really, I am the lucky one because dh loves me inspite of myself and I am truly amazed at the Kindness of the Lord in my life yet again.  Many years ago, I went through this phase of looking at people and asking myself if they were "in love"...that thought hit me tonite again as we had some neighbors over for dinner...what does "in love" look like?  I am beginning to see things a little more clearly which is a pretty crazy thing.  For some time now I have talked about the fact that certain people are so judgemental or critical and I am learing that those certain people is ME.  My best friend has for sometime listened to me carry on about things and has made gentle comments regarding my judgement and I have not really gotten it ( did I mention that I am slow at catching on most of the time) but I am starting to see that aside from blatant disregard for morality and attempted holy living, each persons "look like" is different than mine.  I also meet with a wonderfful godly older lady who is helping me see that I have been partly to blame in some struggles with my mom which in the grand scheme of things don't really matter because her "looks like" and mine are different.  Anyway, I know that this is going on and on becase it is getting late for even me now.  But, Thank you Lord that you are slow to anger and of great mercy...Thank you that you are gentle and kind even when it hurts and thank you for friends and family.  Thank you for dh and thank you for loving me when I am so unloveable.  Thank you for NOT giving me what I deserve. 

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• Feb. 25, 2006
Protected once again....

Well,  the Lord has protected me yet again...yesterday, I had been helping my friend with her kids as she has a dear family member in the hospital.  We (myself and her 3 kids and niece) were leaving her house going to meet with aunt and nana when a 130 lb deer jumped out infront of my car....needless to say, there was nothing I could do.  Now, I am usually a very dramatic person so, keeping it "together" is usually hard for me.  But, by the grace of God, we were all fine and I guess you moms are used to this type of thing where you have to stay "cool" for the kiddies but it is new to me...however, I was able to remain calm before them but when I got out of the car and called dh, I lost it.  Praise the Lord we were all fine and the car can be fixed.  I was thinking back on it last night and I was saying to my husband that even though these kids are not mine (although I love them like they are and would take any of them in a heart beat) the thing that most upset me was that they had to see it and the thought of something happening to them literally made me terrified.  Anyway, I got back into the car when dh arrived and they were all fine and we talked about what had happened.  I learn so much when I am with them and I get such a joy from being a part of their lives.  My friend is the best and she is doing a FANTASTIC  job training her children!!!  They are a gift and a complete joy to be around.  Thank God again for His protection.

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• Feb. 22, 2006
Conviction is a good thing????!!!!!!

  I am aiming to read the bible through in a year for the first time in my life..sad to say, I know.  But, I am continually struck with how great our God is and how small and sinful I am.  Right now, I am going through Leviticus, and I keep thinking okay, if  I can just skim through, I will get to something that is "easier to read" right?  Well, what the Lord has been showing me is this..... back in the Old Testament, there were all these rules that you had to follow...what you could eat, when you could worship, how you had to offer your sacrifice etc... and the two things that I keep thinking are 1...  I would have NEVER made it back then....(I struggle with rules sometimes)

2...  I have it sooooo easy now and yet, some days, I can't seem to drag myself into a time with the Lord... Back then, when they had to follow all these rules and laws and be "clean" and offer up sacrifice and things like that, they were faithful to do it, and yet, I have a personal relationship with God through Jesus I can go straight to the Top and sometimes I am not able to muster up the energy or want to to do it!  WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?  Anyway, I am so thankful that I serve a Living God and One that knows my true heart and is there loving me in spite of myself!  The other thing is this.....I have been serving in my AWANA program at church for 5 1/2 years and I am getting "burned out" and I have been grumbling about it and thinking that I am going to just get out and try something else...well, in my reading for today, I also read..Ps 39 and was struck with this as I came upon vs :4-5 Lord, make me to know my end, and what is the measure of my days, that I my know how frail I am.  Indeed, You have made my days as handbreadths, and my age is nothing before You; Certainly every man at his best state is but vapor.  I know to many of us scripture grips us at different times in different ways, but today I thought, I am being used by the Lord here...and, I need to get over myself  long enough to realize that.  I am so spoiled, I have a great life and lots of nice things, great friends, a great church, a growing walk with the Lord, but the bottom line is....EVERY MAN AT HIS BEST STATE IS BUT VAPOR!... I am sure this is no eureka!      moment to most of you, but to me, it has made me realize again that I am nothing apart from the Lord and what He is doing in my life and how I am being able to possibly impact lives for His glory is really what matters!  For me, it is so kind of the Lord to give me these moments when I am able to see how utterly sinful that I am and how generously gracious and loving He is.  As I begin to contemplate the cross more and think about all that I have, it moves me to really act on my convictions....I don't know, it is just a thought or two that I was having this morning and I wanted to get them out.....How are you being used today?  What can you do to serve our God and show others the Love of Christ?  For most of us, it starts at home with our spouses and children and then from there is flows on...Lord, thank you for conviction, it IS a good thing.  Thank you that because of Jesus and His death on the cross, I can have a personal relationship with you and I can meet with you anytime be it in my PJ's in the living room, or in the car on the way to run an errand for my family...Thank you that I am reminded again that service is an act of worship and may You be honored today!!! Amen!

Have a great day friends!!!

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