I am sincerely heart broken. I recently found out that one of my friends, who got married just last August, who is only 20 is divorced. How sad. The poor girl. It breaks my heart, because she is a friend. This could have all been avoided had her parents done the right thing. Please keep her in your prayers.
    Last summer, she was supposed to get married. I did not receive an invitation, so I didn’t know for sure if she had indeed been married. The plan that I was told was that they would get married in August, and then go to college. So I did not see her for many months. I did think she got married.
    Well when school got out, I saw her at her parents home all the time. I wondered if maybe she hadn’t gotten married. I saw her “husband” at his parent’s house also. (they live down the street.) It had been nagging me for some time to find out what had happened. I was not close with her, so I didn’t just call her up, being as I wasn’t invited to the wedding. But it was really something I wanted to know. I truly care for this girl, and did want to be a friend to her. So weeks went by and I still saw her at her house.
    Last week, when Mom went to Dollar General to get some things, and she was there. She was now working there. So they established who Mom was, and then she asked after me (I was not there). So Mom came home, told me she saw her, and I asked Mom if she had asked her if she was a happy wife. Mom said no, and then I asked if she saw a ring. Mom said, she didn’t think so.
    So I went into DG the other day, and she was at the register. While we were in line she saw me and waved and said hello, being as there were people in front of me. When I got up to her, she asked how I was, I asked how she was, she commented on what I was buying, junk food. She asked if we were going on a picnic, I said no we were just going to watch a movie. She said that sounded like fun. She was really sincere and I know she really cared to know how I was. Then I asked her if she got married. She said yes, with a smile. Then the smile faded, she lowered her voice and said , “but we got divorced.” My heart shattered for her. I had tears in my eyes. I had so not wanted to hear those words.  I thought I had prepared myself for them, but when I heard them I was set back. She then went on to tell me that he was abusive to her and she was better off without him. I was so sad. I said how sorry I was. She finished checking me out, and as I went to grab my bags, I told her I would be praying for her.
    Oh!! I was so upset. I got to the van and just cried. I was so taken back. All the way home, all I could think was “how could her parents let her marry him??”
    I know for a fact her parents knew he was abusive. Her sister knew. When they got engaged, her sister told me that she hoped they wouldn’t get married, because he was mean to her.
    Her parents were supposed to protect her and they didn’t. How could you let your daughter marry a man like that??
    I got home and told Mom, and started crying again. It was so sad.
    I have been thinking about her ever since. I cannot imagine what she is going through. I know she thought that this was “the one”. It breaks my heart.

    I told Mom that when anyone has an interest in me, she had better make sure that she knows him. KNOWS HIM. All about him. I DO NOT want to end up like that. It’s not that I am afraid I will, because I believe God has a plan for my life. But it is a very important decision and I want to be sure without a doubt that he is the one.
    Mothers and Fathers, you have an obligation, and a charge that God has given you. The charge to protect your daughters from ending up like this. I pray for all of the parents out there that when the time comes for your daughter to get married, that you will have inspected every aspect of her betrothed’s life. Talk to his parents about his attitudes, tempers, thoughts, lifestyle. Don’t just have your him come to you and ask for your permission to marry your daughter and say yes. Look into him. Make sure he will love your daughter all the days. He will treat her like a queen, and make her happy.  Pray with your daughter everyday, that the one who comes for her is the one who God has chosen for her.
    My prayer is that only one man comes to ask for me hand. The One. I don’t want to have many suitors to choose from. I want the one God has chosen. I want him to be the only one. I don’t want many because that means that they are not protecting their hearts for their wives they are looking for mine, which isn’t theirs. I don’t want to cause my brother to sin, by him thinking he loves me when God has someone else for him.
    I am counting on my parents to make sure that whoever comes is the right one. They are my protectors til he does come. I trust they will follow God’s guidance in this decision.
    Speaking of trusting your parents... One of the blogging rules at our house is to have your posts typed up beforehand. I am so thankful that is the rule. I was not able to get on the pc today before now. I was really worried that I would not have very much time to blog cause I would need to type something up. So when I came to my folder, I found some posts that I had typed up last week, when I had the time. I am so thankful that Mom made that rule. God knew we would have days when we couldn't get on to blog, so I am thankful that Mom listened to Him, when he told her that that was going to be one of the rules.
    Being obedient is to MOST important thing. It is not something I am good at, but I am hoping and striving to getting better.
    Being obedient when your parents are helping you find your future spouse, TRUST them and OBEY them with all your heart. It will turn out right in the end, if you do what your are supposed to!!

As Always...

Thanks for stopping by "Daily" at the "Planet"!!   
©AmandaDixon

Commented by Anonymous

Hi! I just happened to see your blog when I clicked into this site from an email I got. Don't blame your friend's parents so much for this girl getting divorced. Every situation has two sides, and you don't know both of them. Remember that she was responsible for making this decision to get married, and as far as I can tell you weren't close enough to know if she sought the counsel of her parents, and if she did if she followed it. Be careful about making judgements about people and blaming them for things, even if you think you know all the facts (you still may not). It is only for God to judge - not us. Only He is aware of everything involved. Being a parent is a very difficult job, and giving advice gets even more complicated as the child gets older and becomes an adult. At that point you can give input, pray for them, and hope that those things and the years of training you gave them help them make a good decision - but they are going to make their own decision and there's nothing you can do about it. You are very wise to be obedient to your parents and want to seek their counsel, and I hope you'll continue. Remember that seeking and following God's will for your life is the most important thing. It is definitely more important than trying to figure out who you're going to marry. Keep your focus on God, and the rest will follow. It may not even be in His plan for you to get married. I always thought I would get married and have a big family, but so far I haven't and I'm almost 55. But when I was 36 and financially stable I started trying to adopt, and God blessed me with a wonderful Godly daughter who just turned 15. Although I tried to get her a sister or brother it wasn't in God's plan, but we both trust that His plan is the best for our lives and are excited to see what is going to happen in the future! Follow Him - you're in good hands!
Cheri

Commented by nancysnook

That is such a wonderful post~ I agree fully with you when you say that it is the parents responsibility to make sure who their daughters marry is someone that will love them and treat them like a Queen. Shamefully, I admit that my parents did not do the right thing either. They didn't train us to be wives and mothers, only raised us the way they knew to be best; to get an education and go to work. Deep in my heart I wanted them to keep me from getting married, but I know I wouldn't listen to them or anyone, so I blame myself too. So many times I wish I could go back and do-over. I pray for my daughter, everyday, that we will help her to have the mate that God sends for her and none other. Thank you for this lesson, even though it brought tears to my eyes. Nancy

Edited by nancysnook on June 27, 2007 at 10:36 PM

Commented by frogiggie89

Wow, that is really sad. I wonder if she was defiant towards her parents when she married him. I'm sure no parent (who knew that he was abusive) would willingly let their daughter marry a man like that. It is our responsibility as daughters to listen to our parents' counsel/orders.

Commented by cauldronpool

My, that is sad! God does have everything in control though.

Commented by TrickyNikki

That is such a sad story! Poor thing. So I'm guessing that your friend is living with her parents now?

It sounds like you're doing a good job of guarding your heart for now. That's good.

Love,
~Nikki

Commented by giftedgirl

Wow. That's terrible. It's especially terrible that her family knew that he was, or could be, abusive!! Why on earth would anyone allow their daughter, sister, or friend to walk blindly into a situation like that? I'll be praying for her as well. :-)
Thank you for offering the template to me! I'll take you up on it. :-) Do you want to just e-mail it to me?
You're one of my good friends on HSB too. I know lots of great people on here, but some of them are..... more great than others. :-)
I have to go..... I have a new entry to type up, and I need to send some e-mails. :-)

Hugs & Blessings,
Love,
Becca


Edited by giftedgirl on June 28, 2007 at 6:51 PM

Commented by IloveyouGod

Oh Amanda, that is just so sad!! Divorce is such a terrible thing. I know how you are feeling.
Last year our step grandpa's son got divorce. He had two young daughters that would come to stay with us a few days on our beach vacation once a year, and my heart just went out to them when I found out that the parents had divorced. I'm sure they were heart-broken!
I agree 100% with you. It is SO important to know all about the young man before you commit your whole entire life in marriage with him. It's not just enough to know him now, but his past as well I think.

Thank you for your kind comment! You are so dear to me as well. Even though I have never met you in person, I'm sure you are such a sweet person and a great friend! I pray that God will always be close to your heart and that He'll send you the man of your dreams in His due time ;-)

Have a great day!
~Brooke~

Commented by Earthling

Oh, what a sad story. That breaks my heart just hearing about it and I didn't even know her. I hope she can find God through all this and some day find a man that she will have a godly happy relationship with.
I gave you the Blogging With a Purpose Award!
Yes, big kitchens are a definite. In fact, speaking of things to put in your kitchen, I found the PERFECT quote (at least for me!) for a kitchen the other day. I think I'm going to cross stitch it to put in my own kitchen when I have one one day. It's Shakespeare, and it's "‘Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers." I love it! Hehe.

Commented by quietcajun

I am so sorry for your friend. I am thankful that you have the kind of relationship with your parents that you will trust them and they will protect you.

My heart is just aching for that poor girl.

As beautiful as a good marriage can be, it is still hard work and if the marriage is abusive and ugly in nature it is near to impossible... especially without God.

I will be praying for that young woman.

Commented by Rose

Hello Amanda,
I apologize for not commenting in quite sometime.
That is terribly sad. I would hope if I was in your friend's place that I would be wise enough to judge the young man's character. Poor girl.
I like the way you rearranged the template.
Love to hear from you,
Rose

Commented by Ebell1993

Sorry to hear that!! God Bless You!!
Elizabeth

Commented by Starlight

That wa sad. I will pray for her and her family. I love your blog! I really like watching The New Adventures of Superman with my family. Would you like to be friends with me? My blog is this

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/Starlight/

Hope to hear from you soon....

~*Starlight*~

Commented by LizBeth

That is soooo sad!!! I hate when things happen like that! It's soo horrible that her parents would let her marry a man like that! What has our world come to????

Hope things are going well for you guys.

Blessings,
Liz

Commented by DarthYxpu

YAY! It was so fun to see you guys!

When are you going to blog pictures?

I won't be able to write an entry until tomorrow. I'm going to post a TON of pictures!
:D
TTYL

Thanks for a great time!

Commented by rjdjohn316

this is a comment not a feedback, FYI!! JK! LOL!

I like stopping over and reading all your latest articles, even though they are really long!

Thanks for letting me go with you to the library to blog! And to get the drinks!
LOVE YOU LOTS!!!

Y.S.,
Rachel

Commented by Amanda10Axelby

Dear Amanda,
Thank you for your very encouraging posts to my blog. I really appreciate you taking the time out to read what I wrote and then send an email too.
I have just been reading your blog and enjoyed it very much. Keep up the good work.
You are blessed to live in such a wonderful family.
Thanks again.
Amanda
BTW Your parents also have great taste in names.

Commented by ThreeLittleLadies

I hope that I am as close to my daughters when they are grown as you are to your mother. Many young ladies won't let their mothers tell them what they need to hear. Here's a big hug for you and a prayer for your friend. I pray that God would bless her and restore the time that the canker worm has eaten.

In His hands,
Carol