Commented by quietcajun

Dear Amanda,

Well, initially I came by to ask you to come over to my blog and see what I have been working on. Your hot pink font on the blue background looks familiar right now!

But when I got here and began to read your blog it made me think of a girl I know... one of Kaityn's friends, who is two years younger than she is. Please pray for her.

I do hope that you made sure that your parents were comfortable with you posting this entry. I know that you usually do, but this one reveals quite a bit.

I would like to have Kaitlyn read it b/c even though she is a simply wonderful daughter things have not always been that way and also b/c she is making such an effort to encourage her friend.

I know your intent was not to blame your dad or bash him, but I think it would be a wondeful follow-up entry to hear about your dad's strengths! What do you think?

Thank-you so much for sharing your heart. Other parents and young adults will be blessed and encouraged that when we do things God's way it is SOOOO Much better!

Love in Christ,
Mrs. Brown

Commented by nancysnook

I have to say that I agree with you for the most part. I understand this kind of dad, not from my own father because we were a close-knit family and my dad always showed his love toward all of us. Have you ever thought that some men just aren't raised to know how to show affection. Just like you and your sisters are training to be Proverbs 31 women, men should also be trained to be "gentlemen". My husband is more caring and forgiving than any man I've ever known. He opens the doors for my and my daughters and any other woman/girl that is getting in our car or theirs. He shows affection and love and is teaching my daughters that women are to be protected and not made fun of or ridiculed. He cries easily, even during Hallmark card commercials! Kelsey has already told us that she wants a man just like her daddy is. It is a long hard road of learning but it's much easier when you give it over to God and let him plan your life the way He intended to do before you were ever born. I'd like to also hear some positives about your dad in another post.
Nancy

Commented by sharla88

I love that movie as well. I guess im blessed my dad is the siritual leader in our household, he keeps me modest and i know he loves me. That was an interesting post.
sharla~

Commented by Free2bme

Wow, I almost began crying while reading this post. My dad is a great dad, he tells me often how much he loves me and stands behind me in everything. But it is such a basic DEEP need to have your father's approval and love. How your father treats you can shape the whole rest of your life choices. I've had to learn that no matter how good of an earthly father you have there is always going to be a need inside you. And that's where your Heavenly Father comes in, He's the only one that can fully fill that void, He's the Finisher of you.

Commented by mandygrace

I agree that what you’ve written are exactly the things girls need from their dads. But I think it’s also important to focus more on our dads’ good qualities instead of the bad. We can’t change our dads, but we can change ourselves and try to influence them through our behavior. I heard a saying recently by Josh McDowell: “Rules and regulations without relationship equal rebellion.” It’s so true. Maybe you could try to spend some time with your dad. They talk about this in So Much More. Talk to your dad and ask him questions. Start building that relationship!

What I’m saying, I say from experience. My relationship with my dad hasn’t always been the best. But over time it’s greatly improved, especially because we spend more time together now.

I love how you share your heart. :-) I'll be praying for you.
Love,
Mandy

Commented by ThreeLittleLadies

I see this is a very sincere post. My dh doesn't read blogs much, but maybe I can get him to read this one sometime. He is asleep right now. He isn't feeling to well.

I like how you called me Mrs. Threelittleladies and him Mr. Threelittleladies. Sometimes I am at a loss as how to address myself to some of the younger gals who blog. I don't want to use my last name for privacy/security reasons, and didn't want to say Mrs. Carol. Thanks for giving me an alternative.

My dad was absent in my growing up years. I saw him when I was five and not again until I was 18. I cried myself to sleep a lot over loneliness for him. I believe now that the Lord used his absence to draw me to Himself, and that the Lord protected me Himself where my father should have. I love God much more than I could ever love my father, and I have found that people will let you down, but God will NEVER let you down. Let God show you His father heart. Maybe you can do a study on that - the Father Heart of God.

Your friend and sister in Christ,
Mrs. Threelittleladies

Commented by Ebell1993

Such a good entry!!! My dad is always here for me and I am so glad that he is. We need dads in our life as well as moms but we cannot just have one.
Thanks for stopping by!!!
Elizabeth

Commented by Anonymous

You are becoming a mature wise young woman and I think if you feel this way about your father you should tell him. I know it's easier to write down your thoughts rather than say them, but you are Blessed with a father who is there for you. I know you have the courage and strength, the Lord gave it to, and because of it you are closer to your Heavenly Father. Show your father that you have the strength to confront him. It's always nice to impress your father with the traits the Lord has Blessed you with.

I never really knew my father, I probably say him less than a year of my life. He's not a Christian and unfortunately he does everything you stated a girl a father shouldn't do. When I decided to completely give my life over to the Lord, he made fun of me......he would have patted me on the back if I lived my life for the world, but I chose this path instead.

You are wise beyond your years, I'm sure the Lord will put it in your heart what to do.

God Bless,
Amber

PS~ I tried to write this about 3am this morning, but H woke up....as you probably know, I gave you the Reflection Award again:)

Commented by IloveyouGod

Amanda,
Thanks for sharing your heart in that post. I agree that we greatly need our Father's love and approval as daughters. I do also think even if your father is saved, non-saved, a great leader, or not, or whatever, that we still should respect and honor them no matter what. I'm not saying that you don't, but wanted to throw that out there.

That's amazing that you have never been to the beach!! I strongly advise that you go give it a visit! It's wonderfully beautiful :-)

Can't wait until your next post! I'm always waiting for the next entry of the "Daily Planet." :-)

Luv, Brooke

Commented by giftedgirl

I know! It's ridiculous that people pay all this money for gyms and such, when if they'd just work, it wouldn't be a problem! I'm still not as skinny as I'd like to be...... and the "girlish roundness" of my face bugs me..... but hopefully it'll go away soon! :-)

That was a really good post! Girls definitely need their fathers' acceptance, approval, guidance, wisdom, teaching, and, most of all, love. I've been blessed with a Daddy who gives me all of that and more.

As sad as I am to know that you, one of my friends and sisters in Christ, went through those things..... if you hadn't, you wouldn't have the wisdom you have about that sort of thing now. I was rebellious for two short stints. (I know I've told you about the latter one.... the first was really brief, but my attitude during that time was pretty rotten. I was moody, and unsatisfied. I cannot stand that feeling..... and I haven't felt it in a long time!) I don't ever want to be that way again!!

Now all my friends, (both online and not), are good influences. Two of them, especially, have encouraged me to wear skirts, (Now I hardly ever wear pants), to not be independent and "girl power-ish", (Know what I mean?), and to try to become the godly young woman that I know God wants.

Okay, this has gotten pretty long. :-) I'll end now....

After I say one more thing... LOL

It may just be my computer, but I can't get to your blog from your profile. Any ideas?

Blessings & Hugs,
Becca

Commented by moonflower

Hi,I realy like what you said .......your blogs nice. anyhow come check out my blog.

Commented by quietcajun

This is Quiet Cajun's hubby- "LOUD YANKEE'. She said you would like me to read your post and comment.

This is very encouraging. I love my daughter very much but really do not know how to relate. It was very easy when she was young and we would play and tussle but I have a hard time really now.

One thing you may not realize - My father raised me to be a gentleman, open doors and protect and give deference to ladies over yourself. Always protect and never hurt a lady. This is the way men are supposed to treat a lady. You are correct when you say society does not train many young men this way, but... Modern women do not want to be treated like a lady. I mean, I have opened doors for ladies that will glare at me, or say, "I do not need any help,” especially in the area where I live. I teach my sons to be gentlemen in spite of society. Treat a lady the way they should be treated and if the help is not wanted to just shrug it off and keep doing it to ones who will accept it. Some actually like it and it is the right thing to do.

I really appreciate your post- there is some helpful guidance but some parts, which will make perfect sense to any woman, do not make much sense to a guy. For example - "protect her heart" in a general sense I could tell you what I think this means. - Pray and intercede for my daughter. Nevertheless, other than that this means - NO BOYS UNLESS THEY ARE INTERVIEWED ONE ON ONE WITH ME AND MY WIFE. I have a feeling that you actually mean something more by this phrase but that is why I am telling you - I do not get it.

Thanks “LOUD YANKEE"

Commented by Sparkles

Sorry it took me so long to comment. When I read your post, I was almost in tears. I'm sorry you have gone through a period of rebellion. I can confidently say there are none of us who have perfect fathers...I know I don't. However, I think Scripture is pretty clear that our honor and respect are not based on our parents perfection, but their position as our parents.

Honestly, I could have echoed your post in some places, but first and foremost we must honor our father even though it may be difficult. I think Mandy had some very good advice about spending time with our father to try to strengthen the relationship.

To be honest, the responsiblity our father's bear is huge and I know it doesn't take much for my dad to feel defeated and usually when that happens he could easily feel like giving up. I think the best thing to do is help my dad succeed by encouraging him, helping him and honoring him. Tough to do sometimes....I know. Believe me, I have by no means mastered this.

(((Hugs)))

Jenna ; )

P.S. If you tried to pm me, my inbox was full and I wouldn't have received it. Try again if you did!



Edited by Sparkles on July 14, 2007 at 4:25 PM

Commented by frogiggie89

Hi Amanda,

Wow, this is a long post. I would encourage you to honor your father in all you do or write about him. I believe it would crush him to read this post, and would not help your relationship. Most men are not made as emotionally as women, so do not judge your dad by the lack of emotion he displays.

Again, I would stress that this post is not uplifting. You stated what a girl wants/needs and then you let everyone know how your dad is not like that.

I hope this does not offend you, but consider how this post might offend and crush your dad.

Love you!
Coie

Commented by Anonymous

Hi Amanda,

I was so touched and impressed to read what you posted about "what a girl wants/needs." I can see that it was a very emotional posting for you to write. I have the sense that you wrote it in order to encourage others. Thank you.

I am 33 now, and I can tell you that I knew many girls when I was a teenager and young adult who lacked a strong relationship with their fathers. I think you are very right that this creates a longing in their hearts, and doubts about what and who is important to pursue in life. Very often the result was attitudes and behaviors they came to regret.

I like the way you balanced your honoring (and love!) of your father with your description of your genuine needs as a girl on her way to womanhood. In a loving and honest way, you explained to all who how very important it is for fathers to talk with their daughters, show them love, and train them up in the way they should go. For many reasons, not all fathers are ready to keep their daughters' hearts, and that makes growing up more difficult. As an adult woman myself, I realize that we continue to grow in God no matter what our age.

I am certain that you will continue to grow into a Proverbs 31 "woman of valor." I draw you to this passage: "She opens her mouth with Wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." Proverbs 31:10

Blessings,

April in RI

Commented by maurreyaugust

I’m going to try to make this comment as brief as possible. I can’t tell you how much I can relate to your post! Since I was thirteen years old I have been without an earthly father (my parents divorced, but that’s a story in and of itself!). My grandfather had passed away 3 years previously and any other male figures that I could have turned to as a father figure weren’t really available in that sense. I can’t tell you how many times I longed to have someone who could fill that space (or as you put it void) of a father! I honestly can’t say that if my father had stayed married to my mother that it would have been any different because he was only there for me to a small extent during my earlier years and often I had to beg him to spend time with me.

Thankfully, God had prepared me before he left to fight against my rebellious feelings. I often think I rebelled more before I turned thirteen than I did after that! And I am so thankful for that for myself and because life was difficult enough for my mother as a single mom trying to raise me, home school me and provide for us, how much more difficult would it have been for her if I had rebelled?! Unfortunately since I didn’t have a father figure to protect me, to lean on, I ended up being more independent than I probably should be. I didn’t want to be independent; I had to be. Instead of it coming naturally to me to step aside and let my husband handle things, I tend to just step up and do them myself because I’m used to having to. I have to remember, when he’s around the house, not working, to let him take charge of the manly things. BTW, it’s nice to let him do them though! :)

I’ll stop there. I’m afraid I’ve rambled off….

~Jessica

Commented by SuperAngel

THANK YOU SO MUCH for your comment. You got EXACTLY what I was trying to say.
It was really emotional for me to write. I actually wasn't sure if I wanted to post this, but I prayed over it and felt God saying I needed to post this.
You encouraged me with your comment. I was not bashing my dad in any way. My dad read the post and he said it was fine. I am going to be doing a follow up post to it and explain it more.
Thank you soo much for your comment.
As Always...
!!SUPERANGEL!! !!Amanda!!

Commented by Countrybeachbum

Your right "what a girl wants..." was long, but well worth it. It was very frank and that took a lot of guts to do, so I give you some serious props. I will try to remember all of that good info from woman’s point of view it should be very helpful, so thanx for stepping up to plate and sharing that!

Commented by walkbyfaith

I know exactly what you mean Amanda. There really is a dad shaped hole in every girls heart. Not that girls can never be independent or anything, but God has designed fathers to protect their daughters and daughters to respond to it. I know this from experience. My dad was never around ever, and I felt like there was a piece of my heart missing. God be thanked, he is starting to come around more, and my heart condition is better. And has this hole gets filled, I feel this desire to let him know everything about my faith, my stand on things etc. But this is not always easy because he doesn't understand most of it. Just like Amanda's dad. I think that it's harder to understand this if you have always had a father figure in your life, not nesicarilly a father, but a grandpa, uncle etc. Ooops, way rambly. Sorry.

Alycia

Commented by shine29

Very good post!
I can see myself in that post a lot, but it was my Mom that was lacking when I grew up. She still does and she doesn't realize it. its' tough growing up with a parent like that, but I'm so proud of you for stopping your rebellion before it was too late! :-)
(((HUGS)))