Susie-Q&A

• Mar. 23, 2006 - Homeschooling with a Newborn

With the birth of our sixth child, all sense of routine and order and normalcy have gone out the window.  Somebody has said that bringing a newborn into a house is like tossing in a grenade...and I've always found that to be true.  Having been through it a few times, I know what to expect, which lessens the impact considerably. 

 

My greatest challenge is homeschooling in the middle of a mess.  With so many living in it, our house is not usually neat under the most ordinary of circumstances, although I can get it decent in about an hour's concentrated effort.  But this latest little fella (while indisputably adorable) will not consent to be set down.  The only straightening that gets done is during his naptimes, which are still unpredictable.  Many a morning, I have awakened to dirty dishes and crumbs on the kitchen floor.  I can do a little here and there by wearing him in a sling, or directing the children, but that's the best we can do so far.

 

Somewhere in my vast history of media consumption, I have picked up three phrases that have helped me focus.  When I remember them (emphasis on when), things are more peaceful.  I have a feeling they are in line with scripture, too, if we were to tease them out.

 

1.  "Work the problem."  "Houston, we have a problem!"  When one child is yelling for my help over another (seemingly oblivious to the other child), while yet another is spilling koolaid all over the kitchen floor, while the baby is squirming and starting in to fuss, while another is coming in on the carpet with muddy feet, and lunch is already two hours late...that is not the moment to lose my head.  My knee-jerk reaction is to get frustrated.  But if I can lay aside the emotion and work the problem itself, I completely forget to feel sorry for myself and can maintain patience with the children.  The resultant feeling of accomplishment builds my mothering self-esteem.

 

2.  "Embrace the Chaos."  This is from the first chapter of my newly acquired book, God's Whisper in a Mother's Chaos:  Bringing Peace Home.  Some days that's all that goes through my mind.  Embrace the chaos, girl; that's how God is going to perfect you.  Without the chaos, it won't happen.

 

"Resisting the chaos in our lives hinders the work of God in our souls," writes Kerri Wyatt Kent.  "When we embrace the chaos, admit that it is there and it is okay because God is there too, then the difficulties and unpredictable circumstances of our lives become a tool that God uses to strengthen our faith."

 

3.  "Just Muddle Through."  For a glimpse of real grace-under-challenge, read Tom MacMahon's moving post on dealing with his son's disability (the result of an injury):  What I Have Learned in 15 Years.  Here's what he says about muddling through:

 

"Muddle through

I've never seen a self-help book with this advice, but really it's some of the best advice I can give somebody going through a difficult stretch. Sometimes the absolute best you can do isn't that pretty, or elegant, or graceful, or frankly all that inspiring. When you're in one of those stretches, stop worrying about it. Nobody else could do that much better in your position either."

 

In other words, don't be so hard on yourself.  This one, I believe, is thoroughly scriptural.  It's another way of describing grace.  I know God understands that we are only dust.  He has grace for us in our time of need.  His compassion for our difficulties, big and small, is unending.  He really does care for us, and we really can cast our cares on him.  With our Father, we have no fear because of his perfect love.  We have no performance standards to live up to.  We can run to him after a difficult day, cry on his shoulder, and rest in his loving arms. 

 

(By the way, read Tom's entire post.  It really is moving and will put your problems into perspective.)

 

Armed with these three catch-phrases (and a sense of humor), I, the less-than-perfect mother can indeed homeschool less-than-perfect children in a less-than-perfect house with minimal stress.

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Comments

• Mar. 23, 2006 - Wise Post

Posted by Melkhi
Thanks for sharing!
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• Mar. 23, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by CreativeHomeschooling
When I am in the midst of pulling my hair out, I try to think of a quote I once heard from a very wise woman...it went something like this, "I was irratated at the tiny hand prints I had to wash off the wall, until I realize they were getting higher and higher up...until one day they were gone" This is only for a season, someday you will (hopefully, LOL) look back at that chaos with fond, warm memories.

Jennie von Eggers
www.TimesTales.com
www.CreativeHomeschooling.com
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• Mar. 23, 2006 - Thank you

Posted by dadriane71105
Your words were much needed here today. I have been so stressed trying to homeschool, do everyday chores and prepare for our newborn who will be here in less than a month. I figured when she came that our life would change and those things would be even harder. Honestly, that stressed me even more. (Type A personality here!) Thank you for your wise words and insight!
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• Mar. 24, 2006 - good stuff

Posted by dawilli
thank you for sharing that, you just may be my new hero...
I might even print that out and add to my parenting journal.
I could use those encouraging words each and every day around here!
also homeschooling with little ones under foot,
ali
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