Susie-Q&A
• May. 23, 2009 - All Things are Possible
I'll allow this post to spool out of my mind as it will, and see where it takes me.
I've been reading a book loaned to me by a homeschooling neighbor: A Mother's Rule of Life. I've read many books during my mothering career, all with helpful and encouraging advice. This one is no exception. The author, Holly Pierlot, a Catholic Christian, speaks to five areas in a mother's life that fall under her vocation. They are alliterated, for better memorization, of course (which takes me right back to my Baptist church attendance days!): Prayer, Person, Partner, Parent, and Provider.
What I like best about the book is her emphasis on spiritual formation. This is something I hunger for. It's so easy to want to please my flesh, and allow lesser things to crowd out time that should be spent on the Central Thing: loving God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength, and all that flows out of that (namely, loving others as myself). Something in my heart whispers that, with God at the center of my days (rather than my own selfish pursuits), things may just fall into place without a lot of striving on my part. I do not like trying to "pull myself up by my own bootstraps," because...well, I know for a fact I do not have it in me. Some people have the steel in their will to do that, but I am squishy of will. And yes, I know it's a character failing...but I am.
She places these areas of our marriage vocation in a hierarchy. I have also seen them presented as spokes on a wheel, with the first P serving as the hub. However, the benefit to her hierarchy is that it demonstrates with clarity that each thing is contingent on the prior things.
For instance, marriage will be out of balance for the woman who does not devote herself prayer and spiritual formation, and see to her basic personal care, for who can properly love her spouse when her own well is empty? And parenting is very difficult in an out-of-balance marriage. Premium parenting offers children complete security and confidence in their parents' love for one another, and provides them a Godly and winsome example of each partner's submission to Christ, to each other, and to the "government" in the home.
I know all of this already because I've been taught a great deal throughout my life-long church attendance. Where I fall down is in the "doing of the Word."
Confession time: I have conflicting responses when reading any book about "pulling one's life together." I am responding as I did when I first read about the workboxes. On one hand, I have great hope that this might actually be something I could do. On the other hand, I am besieged with fears of failing (once again) and the discouragement that follows. But fear is essentially unbelief. And unbelief is sin. It's listening to the lies of the enemy, rather than trusting in the sufficiency of the Lord.
To be honest, I haven't been doing the workboxes beyond the first week (which was fairly successful, at least in the amount we got done)...but that's mainly because hubby is at home now on summer break, and I got such a negative response from at least one child to the prospect of full-on schooling all summer long that I thought it better to do things here and there, and just try to keep up our math this summer. That simplifies things for me, and gives me time to plan to power up the workbox system again at the beginning of August. I am itching to give the system a few months' run and see how it improves our work habits. I hope in relaxing this summer I'm not just making excuses for inconsistency.
Speaking of Confession: After reading of Mrs. Pierlot's spiritual disciplines, which flow out of Catholic practice, I have to wonder if, as a non-Catholic Christian, I miss out on the blessing of regular confession of my faults to a fellow believer. I don't agree with all the theology behind the Confessional or the Catholic priesthood, but I do see the practical benefits of regular confession, and of having a mentor in the faith (she calls hers a Spiritual Director, and invests a great deal more authority in hers than I would--but again, that's a theological difference). And both are fully Biblical (Titus 2 comes to mind).
The book reminds me that there is something to be said for spiritual disciplines--that the faith that goes into our meager efforts to seek God is blessed and greatly multiplied by the Presence of God's Spirit in our lives.
I've had a children's scripture ditty replaying in my head all morning:
Without faith, it's impossible...
(It's what??)
It's impossible...
(WHAT??)
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE
To please God!
He who comes to God,
Must believe that He is,
And he rewards those who seek Him!
But wait! There's more...
All things are possible!
All things are possible!
All things are possible!
Just believe
God will do everything
That He says he will do,
And He rewards those who seek Him!
As Holly Pierlot puts it: like the disciples, we may want to "send away" those who need us, because we see the impossibility of the task of ministering to them. But Jesus says, "You feed them." And as we offer our best efforts (pitiful as five loaves and two fish to feed a crowd of thousands), he blesses and multiplies, and miraculously ministers through us. It looks like folly to the world, but the "folly" of God is far wiser than the best wisdom man has to offer.
So, for the time being, I will try to devote the first part of my day to the Lord, and see what falls into place after that, as I offer whatever I have (not much) to the task God has given me. I have to believe that, as I cooperate with God, He will give victory over my bad habits and inconsistencies. |
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• May. 23, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Our church practices confession, which I've taken advantage of, oh, maybe three times? Four? It's always been very rewarding to physically hear that my sins are forgiven by Christ.
Devotions of any kind are difficult for me. I'm lazy, for one thing, and for another thing it's hard to see the point day after day. So I guess we've all got room to grow.
Enjoy your summer break!