October 9, 2007 My Article on Crosswalk.com
I forgot that when TOS publishes one of your articles it may appear in other publications that they are affiliated with. A kind commenter from my post on the Summer 2007 TOS mentioned that she read my article at Crosswalk.com. I just thought I'd link that article here so that others who don't subscribe to TOS or haven't had the chance to read it, could find this article on-line:
Harmonious Homeschool: Ways We Have De-Stressed our Home
I certainly appreciate all those lovely comments that I've been getting. You all don't necessarily have to agree with me, but I really appreciate all your support!
~Betsy
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April 7, 2006 The Less-Stress Home
Less-Stress Home
Meal Prep: I have an ‘available meals’ list on the refrigerator. It lists all the meals I am able to make with the ingredients on hand. I just glance at this list (covered in cellophane so I can use a crayon to mark out and erase easily) each morning and I choose what I will prepare that day. When I’ve made that meal, I erase the check that it’s available and write the ingredients on the grocery list that hangs beside it.
Grocery shopping: Of course, this meal list makes for the grocery list to be less stressful too, as I have listed what all I need to make good meals the next week on the grocery list as I used them! When I return from the grocery, I re-check those items on the ‘meal list’ that I purchased ingredients for and there we have it….less stress!
Menu list: It is also less-stressful if you could use an actual ‘menu list’ listing what is for supper all week. This keeps those little ones from asking “what’s for supper?” (that is, if they can read!) You can use it the same way as the ‘available meals’ list only more specific. I don’t do this, as I like to be more flexible with my meal planning.
Bulk items: Buying in bulk is a great way to save money. I will cook chicken breasts and chop them up and freeze them in small bags to be ready in an instant for casseroles or stews. Chop and freeze those vegetables from the clearance produce rack. And of course, make double meals so that you can freeze half for a quick meal later.
House cleaning: I use a list like “Monday, vacuum; Tuesday, dust; Wednesday, sweep/mop; Thursday, bathrooms;” etc. This makes you do a little something each day and you don’t have to spend several hours at once to get your house in shape.
Chores: Don’t forget to make a chore chart for the children to help with daily chores too! They can be a big help even in the smallest task.
Relaxing time: I find that if I sit down for a minute, then someone needs me. Here's where a cat comes in handy. Get a cat! A lap cat! (Providing of course, that you are NOT allergic and that you LIKE cats. We're looking for LESS STRESS here, not MORE STRESS.) Our lap cat will come and lie on my lap as soon as I sit down for a bit. She gets all comfortable. The boys hate to see HER get up, so they don't ask me for help, or to come see this, or to get them that, or whatever when she's made herself a bed on my lap. ahhhh…such a sweet few minutes of time. Here's a picture I took yesterday of us trying to finish up our work for the day:
And a new topic added specifically for Pat
Sick days for parents:
meals: Remember all those great little meals in the freezer? Get them out!
Maybe your children can now practice their cooking skills.
Keep the phone book handy and call the pizza guy.
school: Take the day off! Isn't that one of the blessings of homeschooling?
Have the children sit in bed with you and read to you for a bit.
They can learn 'mothering skills' as they wait on you hand and foot.
youngsters: Hopefully you can call a friend who owes you a babysitting favor.
Older ones can watch the younger ones and maybe 'teach' them today.
I think this just about covers The Less-Stress Homeschool workshop that I did last year (and then some.) I hope you have benefited from some of these suggestions. I’ll close this ‘series’ with this:
Remember, God loves your children even more than you do. You may feel like you will never be up to the task of home schooling, but there is never a second when God isn’t up to it.
~Betsy
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April 5, 2006 Less Stress Socialization and TV
Ah, my personal pet peeves:
1) Less-Stress over socialization:
You know the questions they ask, but are the people who ask these questions saying that the public school children have the best social skills of all the children in the world? YIKES!!!
These questions stem from the misconception that we learn our social skills in a classroom full of peers run by government institutions. Think about it…do the ps children have time ‘during class’ to socialize? Or is that after school and during after school activities? Since we, as homeschoolers, spend less time in actual class, then we have 4 or 5 more hours in a day for social activities than those in the traditional classroom!
Do you want your child to learn the social graces of their peers or parents? Who’s bright idea was it that 35 13 year olds are the best teachers of socialization for your 13 year old?
“The public school has no time for the individual child; it must deal with children en masse.” - Schoolmaster, in Manhattan in 1923; from A Mother’s Letters to a Schoolmaster ©Alfred A. Knopf, 1923
2) Less-Stress with TV
By limiting or eliminating your tv time, then your home life finds more stress-free hours in the day. Because your child is not subject to ads (which exist solely to tell you that you are not content with what you have) you have less stress shopping, and children are more receptive of others gifts to them.
Here are some excellent quotes about the television:
“Television . . .Is an anti-experience and an anti-knowledge machine because it separates individuals from themselves and from the environment and makes them believe they are living while they are only observing passively what other people decide to make them see.”
- Dr. Silvana Montanaro, MD, Psychiatrist, Montessori Teacher-Trainer
“The primary danger of the television screen lies not so much in the behavior it produces as the behavior it prevents... Turning on the television set can turn off the process that transforms children into adults.”
- Urie Bronfenbrenner, Professor of Human Development, Cornell University
Okay, done with the personal pet peeves that tend to stress me out.
~Betsy
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April 3, 2006 Less Stress with Siblings
Less-Stress with siblings
Manipulatives: This is a great ‘younger sibling’ distraction. We did a lot of Montessori with our children when they were younger. We had shelves of items they could ‘choose’ for themselves to do. The younger ones would pick and choose (and make a mess of) all those neat Montessori learning items, while we worked one on one with the older ones.
Morning/afternoon: Right now our children are at a very independent learning age. I will work with the younger one in the morning while the older one does his independent things. Then in the afternoon we switch ‘mama time’ around.
Multi-age activities: This is sometimes easier said than done. But we can do science together, map relief maps in geography together, read good books together and make for lots of ‘all together’ time learning.
Frequent breaks: A good suggestion for those with younger ones...take time from work to hug/play with/feed the baby. This helps the older ones learn patience and waiting their turn. Younger ones learn waiting when their needs are not immediately met while you are busy with older ones. Sometimes it’s chaotic, but we should just relax and not worry about the academic part of learning.
Multi-tasking: I spend time folding clothes while someone reads, or doing dishes, or my newest trick…having the older one read and work with the younger one! I am teaching him how to be a homeschool teacher! Blessings in disguise!
Stress less…relax….God is in control!
~Betsy
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March 31, 2006 Less-Stress Academics
Less-Stress Academically
Grade levels: This is something the ps has devised to give the public classroom a focus. If they are doing the work and learning, then they ARE at grade level. Whatever you have deemed that to be. No college or future employer is going to ask your child “did you learn to read by the time you were 6?” or “did you learn your multiplication tables in 3rd grade?” Your dc will know this by THEN and that’s all that’s important!
Testing: Wow, now here’s a touchy subject! If you feel you want to see how your children are doing ‘according to the norm’ (whatever that may be) then you may purchase easy to use test booklets at a school supply store. Or if you want a standardized test, then BJU has some here; and the CAT test is available to purchase here. Most umbrella schools and some states require annual testing.
One on one: You know, teaching your child yourself is like having a private tutor for him/her. You know that’s the best way to learn anyway. Don’t stress about this ‘is he/she at grade level’ too much. You know they are learning!
Do not compare! 2 Corinthians 10:12 “We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.” Each child is different, each style of teaching/learning is different. Thou shalt not compare!
Okay, less-stress over academics. Let’s enjoy our children and let them learn when they are ready!
~Betsy
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March 30, 2006 Less Stress Motivation
Less-Stress Motivation
Games! We use this system where I calculate their over all ‘grade’ for the week. I average all their written work and come up with a percentage. That percentage corresponds to an amount of ‘tickets’ on my chart:
100 - 95% = 6 tickets
94 - 88% = 5 tickets
87 - 82% = 4 tickets
81 - 75% = 3 tickets
Each ticket then is good for 1 hour of computer games, Playstation, or choosing a video to watch. We call it “electronic game time”. That’s it for the following week. When the tickets are gone, then no more games, movies, etc. Besides motivation, it’s also great for limiting the amount of time your children spend sitting and vegging out at the tv/computer!*
Extra activites: My ds enjoys going to play floor hockey which dh and his friends play on one late night each week. If he doesn't get at least “4 tickets” then he doesn’t get to go to hockey. This could be used for any outside activity your dc like to do.
Remember: These tickets are for motivation to get their work done properly. Not a punishment for not being a ‘smart’ child. I feel that this schedule of ‘tickets’ works out perfectly for my dc since they are more ‘average’ than ‘above average’ students. Ds usually gets to go to hockey, but has never gotten 6 tickets to spend the following week! That’s just not him. Just motivate them to do “their best” work…not necessarily to be the best.
This is what we do for motivation. It works for us. It may not work for you, but something similar might. Good luck!
~Betsy
*edit: We only allow the use of up to 2 tickets on each of Monday, Wednesday or Friday. Sometimes ds has an abundance of tickets in his possession of which we allow him to "sell" back to us for $1 each. He REALLY likes this part!
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March 29, 2006 Less-Stress Curriculum
Less-Stress Curriculum
Buy used: This is a great way to save stress if you don’t use it! You didn’t spend a lot of money buying it. . Used books stores abound in our area. Or look on-line.
Don’t do all activities: Just because you bought something you ARE going to use, you still don’t have to do everything in the book! Do what works for your family. Don’t stress out because you haven’t done EVERYTHING listed to do! Flexibility is the key to less stress!
Internet: You can find tons of sites where you can learn for free on the Internet. (I have a four page doc. that has Interent links to learn EVERY subject...email me if you would like me to send you an attachment of that four page doc.) The library also contains many things available for your use. Don’t forget those on-line swap boards for re-selling what you are finished with!
Teacher’s editions: What a big stress there! Mostly these are made for classroom settings where ONE teacher is trying to keep 30+ students busy! Don’t feel like you need to do everything it says. In fact, I don’t even buy TE’s until 4th grade subjects.
Okay, now that we feel less-stressed about our curriculum, let’s get busy!
~Betsy
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March 27, 2006 Less-Stress Lesson Plans
Less-Stress Lesson Plans
Summer time: I go through each of the books for the next year during the summer (I have already decided on the curriculum before summer break!) I make these tentative plans during the summer and just review them each evening during the ‘term’ to see what the next day will bring.
Numerically: This is the best way, I have found after many years of trial and error, to make for less stress schedule keeping! It took me 10 years to figure it out! Ha I find it’s much less-stressful if I’ve written my lesson plans as “Day#1 through Day#180 (or how many days you are ‘required’ to do in your state.) I found that if I had my plans listed as Monday, Tuesday, etc, and we took Monday off…I had to scribble all over my plans to rearrange EVERYTHING after that to co-inside with the actual days! Too stressful! Or else I felt ‘behind’ in the lessons if I wasn’t on the right day! Okay, lo and behold, the NUMERICAL system! If you number them 1-to-whatever, then when you take a day off you are NOT BEHIND! You just begin the next time you get together for school, with the next number! VOILA! Less stress!!!!
Take time off: These lesson plans that you spent so much time making are not CARVED IN STONE. Take time off, re-arrange, relax! It doesn’t have to be kept to. You are allowed to be spontaneous. Isn’t that one of the reasons we do all this?
Extra Curricular: On the lesson plans I try to ‘schedule’ the extra curricular stuff (spanish, art, music, pe, health) once a week, with the basics everyday.
Year Around School: This is less stressful than trying to get everything done according to the PS calendar. We did this in Honduras so that we could take breaks whenever those work-teams came to help. It actually took as an entire year to get 180 days of school in! This is a great plan, also, so that you can take more days off when you want them. Not necessarily all during those HOT summer months. It also makes for less stress because you don’t have to spend so many weeks ‘re-teaching’ those things your dc forgot during the long summer break!
Enough less-stress lessons for today.
~Betsy
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March 24, 2006 Less-Stress Scheduling
Okay, now that we've got the blogs up and running again, I can continue my posts on Less- Stress!
Less-Stress Daily Schedule
Beginning We get the boys up around 8:30am, if they are still sleeping and try to begin school by 9:30am. This is just an estimate. Today it could be 10am before we begin. I know I’m doing the right thing here, when I hear the school bus drive by at 7:30 am and my dc are still sleeping!
Working: We try to spend two hours in the morning with work and have a lunch break/recess for 2 to 2 ½ hours, then finish up with two hours in the afternoon sometime, before 5pm hopefully!
Flexibility: Remember: it’s the children we are doing this for…enjoy them while they are here…be flexible! Relax and enjoy them all day long!
~Betsy
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March 16, 2006 Less Stress Mornings
Since I've had a few comments on my "Less-Stress" post concerning the outline from my workshop from last year's Smoky Mountain Women's Retreat, I thought I'd take each topic and make it a separate post. Might take me MONTHS to get them all up here, but you'll hang with me won't you? Okay, let's go:
Less Stress Mornings:
Begin your day with prayer: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." (Phil 4:6) How else could you even start a day without giving thanks to God for giving you this day and asking Him to guide you through it? Just makes sense.
Devotions for all: The boys will do their personal devotions first too. That way THEY start their day on the right foot too! Now I have to tell this 'gotta do your devotions" story:
We used to be missionaries in Honduras (another long story for another post), but we were used to having visiting work teams come and that would require us to be up before dawn to get the coffee and breakfast started so that the teams could begin their work before the heat of the day. And if you know anything about a Central American country....heat means 100+ degree days. Anyway, as I groggily got up one morning at 4am to get the breakfast ready, my dh jumped up from bed and said "you stay here and get your personal time with God....WE all have a much better day when you do." YIKES! Does that mean when I don't spend a few minutes with God each morning everyone around me suffers? Gotta spend time with our Lord!
First subject: RECESS: I have learned after several years of homeschooling, that the boys don't want to get up in the morning and get right down to the business of school work. Isn't that one of the reasons we don't get them up early and onto the school bus before dawn? So they can sleep and just be themselves without the rush of a schedule? Okay, so we always make sure they are up at a decent time and that they will have at least one hour before we start the lessons. That also gives me at least an hour to check the blogs! More fun for us all!
Laundry/dishes: If it's a laundry day, then I will start the laundry early before we begin any school work. I will have done my dishes and all the house straightening the night before so that when I get up in the morning, the house is ready for the day. I love to wake up to a tidy house. (notice I said 'tidy' not CLEAN! ha)
Meals: This is one I try to always do, but I fail sometimes. In the morning, before our school day, I figure out what I am going to prepare for the noon and evening meal. I will thaw out food, if needed, or start the crock-pot or bake the bread. I find that if I know what meals I am to prepare, I am less stressed when I look at the clock and realize that I only have 15 minutes until dh comes home for lunch! We'll talk more about less-stress meal planning in a later post.
Now to get THIS morning back on schedule, I need to plan today's meals. See you next time!
~Betsy
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March 8, 2006 Less-Stress Homeschool
Last year at the Smoky Mountain Women's Retreat, I led a workshop on the Less-Stress Homeschool. I thought I'd share my outline here, just in case it might help someone out.
Less-stress Morning
- begin with Prayer (Phil 4:6)
- start out with RECESS
- start laundry early
- plan daily meals in the morning
- tidy up the night before.
Less-stress Schedule
- Be flexible!
- Two hours in the morning; 2 hour break at lunch; two hours in the afternoon
- Frequent breaks; enjoy your children!
Less-stress Lesson Plans
- Make them in the summer
- Numerical plans (Day One, etc, not M-F)
- Take days off at your leisure
- Extra curricular once each week; basics once each day
- Year-Around School
Less-stress Curriculum
- Buy used if possible, that way you don't feel stressed by not using it!
- not necessary to use all activities in the Teacher’s Editions
Less-stress Record Keeping
- folders of quarterly work
- report cards if you choose
- permanent records, especially for high school
Less-stress Motivation
- Points for weekly over all grade, points can be spent on TV time
- Extra activities are privileges for doing well.
- Each child has different learning abilities and talents.
Less-stress Academics
- If they are doing the work they are at grade level.
- One on one is like having a private tutor for your child.
- 2 Corinthians 10:12
Less-stress with Siblings
- keep little ones busy
- learn to wait their turn
- work with one at a time
- do multi-aged activities
Less-stress Home Life
Meal Prep
- Food list or menu list
- prepare double sizes
- chop foods and freeze
Chores
- daily cleaning
- children’s responsibilities
Free Time
- limit (or eliminate) TV
- less stress shopping
Less-stress over Socialization
- The misconception: that we learn our social skills in classrooms run by government institutions
- less time in actual class, so MORE time to socialize
- social graces are not learned from your peers!
“The things taught in schools and colleges are not an education,
but the means of an education.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Check out this link to see all about this year's Smoky Mountain Women's Retreat.
May 19, 20, Johnson Bible College (7 miles SE of Knoxville)
~Betsy
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