Fish in My Hair

Meaningless meanderings of a middle-aged mom

I started my day today with a big bowl of Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch. Some days you just have to throw caution and bran flakes to the wind.

As I get older, I'm starting to get nervous about taking showers. The print on all the bottles and tubes in there is impossibly small, and of course I can't wear my bifocals in the shower, so it's always a real possibility that I will apply the wrong product to the wrong place. I'm afraid I'm going to put Acid Peel on my hair and Thickening Conditioner on my face, and end up bald but with a luxurious mustache.

I've figured out that there are two kinds of people in the world - those who rarely scrape, cut, or abrade themselves; and those whose bodies are basically held together with an assortment of Band-Aids because they have no skin left. I'm in the former group. A 30-count package of adhesive bandages could last me my entire life. I live with a bunch of people in the latter group. How these people are still walking around is a mystery; it seems to me that they should have all bled to death by now, given the number of Band-Aids they need on a daily basis. The 60-count package is nowhere near sufficient. I'm going to check Super StuffMart to see if they carry a 500-count Box 'O Bandages.

The recipe for Skunk Shampoo is as follows:

1 qt. hydrogen peroxide

1/4 c. baking soda

1 tsp. dish soap

I think it is a frightening comment on my life that I know this by heart.

Bandaids

6:15 AM, Jun. 22, 2006 .. Posted by Junosmom

What is it with bandaids,anyway? My son thinks they cure boo-boos. Who knows, maybe they do.

As for the skunk recipe, I guess I better keep that handy. Have been lucky so far, but our number is sure to be up sooner or later.

by the dozens

5:51 PM, Jun. 22, 2006 .. Posted by javamamma

may be meaningless but fun to read nonetheless. it is a tad scary to me that you know the skunk shampoo recipe by heart. but maybe i'll bookmark it - i might need it someday. oh, and let me know if you find the 500 count box of bandaids - my 2 1/2 y.o. goes through them by the dozens.

Untitled Comment

8:24 PM, Jun. 22, 2006 .. Posted by tdaiken

LOL - My girls loved the band-aids too, but my youngest's most favorite cure-all was Pepto-Bismol... one day she had a runny nose and she came to me and said, "My nose hurts. Can I have some pink stuff?"

It is just a little scary that you have the skunk shampoo memorized, but then again, it is nice to know someone who has this information should it come in handy....:)

Hugs,
Donna

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7:49 AM, Jun. 23, 2006 .. Posted by wrongwaywendy

LOL!! I never realized how dangerous showers can be! I'd better warn my dh who needs bifocals. I also have two children who are held together by band-aids.

I'm going to wet my pants

8:05 PM, Jun. 23, 2006 .. Posted by KerryLeighinNC

Lady, you are a funny gal! I'm only 36, but the whole bifocals in the shower thing - I am so THERE! Thanks for the laughs - I'll be checking in with you often. BTW - I'm not sure how to do the "trackback" thing, but I'll be commenting on this blog from my own!

The Bifocals thing

9:19 PM, Jun. 23, 2006 .. Posted by OurLittleSchoolRoom

I am not middle-aged--at least I don't think I am, but I feel like I am fast approaching it. The bifocals thing I have done since I was about 24.

I just spent a few minutes reading your blog, and falling off my chair with laughter. I am adding you to my list so I can revisit. I need the reminder to see the "funny" in life.

Blessings,
Karen

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12:36 PM, Jun. 27, 2006 .. Posted by CleghornClanMom

why would you want to wash a skunk?;-)

I'm with you....

9:12 PM, Jun. 30, 2006 .. Posted by TRINITYPREPSCHOOL

Face it America.....your greatest assets are aging (that would be us, ladies!)

Large print is a must on ALL bottles requiring application!
Maureen