Fish in My Hair

Some people's kids

I thought my own children were getting just too tech savvy for their own good, until I read Bonnie Wren's blog entry about her boys' "adjustments" to her cell phone ringer. Jumping Jupiter!

Okay, have you stopped laughing hysterically and pulled yourself together? We moms need to brainstorm about how we're going to keep our kids from taking over the world at age eight, simply because they know more than we do about microprocessors and gigabytes and pings and RSSs. (By the way, I bet you can't find one person in your circle of adult friends over the age of 25 who can tell you what an RSS is.)

I think we just haven't put the fear of technology into our children. And saying, "If you do that, the computer will blow up," just isn't good enough. Boys will be more than happy to witness a computer exploding into six gajillion pieces, especially if one of the shards will penetrate their little sister's Bratz doll's head, trading her hip, urban look for a more primitive bone-through-the-nose appearance.. 

And girls have no fear of cell phones. I thought about giving my daughter the classic "that's going to grow attached to your ear" speech, but then I realized she'd actually be okay with that, since that would free up both her hands for a Starbucks Frappaccino and her iPod. If she could operate a laptop with her feet, believe me, she'd do it.

Of course, if you're in the sandwich generation like me, you've also seen the other end of the tech savvy spectrum. This would be personified in my father, who cannot set a digital alarm clock, and in my mother, who thinks that if you open the microwave while it's still running, you run the risk of nuking your own brain and imploding your neighbor's prize pumpkins. My mom owned a digital camera for two years before she would actually take a photo with it. I'm not sure, but I think she thought that it would somehow transmit pictures and classified information by satellite to one of those axis of evil countries.

So anyway. If you have any good ideas about how to scare my kids into leaving my electronics well enough alone, I'd like to hear them, and ASAP. Today my youngest son changed my Windows log-in name to "Shugah Mama," and my daughter uploaded a photo of her boyfriend's eyebrow to serve as my cell phone's screen saver. Something's got to be done.

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6:45 AM, Jun. 24, 2006 .. Posted by bensrib

TC, I feel your pain. My teens all out-do me electronically, but the only one with a sick sense of humor is the just-turned-13-year-old. He changes the ring tone, the background, etc. He changed my name on the home computer to Yo-yo-ma. And I've done the same stupid thing - looking around at whose phone is ringing and they're not answering it. What, are they deaf? The older ones have pity on me, though. Who will fix my computer mistakes when they all leave for college in the fall???

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6:58 AM, Jun. 24, 2006 .. Posted by writmm

LOL! Sounds like your children are keeping you on your toes! An eyebrow on your cell phone...tooo funnyyy!!!!

Sorry, but I don't have any suggestions for you. My children are very 'plugged in'.

My DH (41) is a computer nerd so we keep on top of all the latest stuff. We both know about RSS feeds (which if you subsciribe to too many can be overwhelming) and I have shared this information with a couple of my friends, so you would lose that particular bet!

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7:59 AM, Jun. 24, 2006 .. Posted by joedeb

Thankfully I'm still ahead of my kids when it comes to computer savvy, but I KNOW it's not for long. Now I have some idea of the sorts of things I have to look forward to. Thanks for making me smile!

Heh!

10:50 AM, Jun. 24, 2006 .. Posted by BonnieW

Dear TC, I ADORE your blog. I set up a commenting account here just so I could comment on your posts in a non-Anonymous fashion.

here's to technology

12:14 PM, Jun. 24, 2006 .. Posted by javamamma

Hey, I say if ya can't beat 'em - join 'em. But My Beloved is WAY ahead of me in that game. I get the toys - he sets 'em up.

LOL!

12:50 PM, Jun. 24, 2006 .. Posted by sagerats

I am so glad my children don't do these sorts of things! (My oldest is 15 so she has the capacity and know how, she just doesn't.) Which has me wondering; my mother said to me at that age, "Just wait until you have children of your own missy!" Ah, the curse!

I used to pull funnies on my mom all the time. Back when most car radios didn't have digital clocks, my mom purchased a little one to stick to the dash. I was always pulling it apart and turning it upside down, or backwards. Then she'd get in the car, look at the time and fall back against the seat with the look of a dying martyr.

As they say, "If you wouldn't give them a reaction, they wouldn't keep doing it!" LOL!

Abiding in the Vine!

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1:48 PM, Jun. 24, 2006 .. Posted by drewsfamilytx

ajagdsklj;gdslkj

That was so stinkin hilarious, TC! Thanks for the link and the smile-- I can always count on you!

We just got a new TV room...er, my dh likes to call it his media room. Anyhow, I can't figure out how to turn the tv on, play a DVD or get the surround sound to work. So who do I turn to in my time of need? Yup, my 6 year old. I just knew he could figure it out!

Your mind is fascinating...

2:54 PM, Jun. 24, 2006 .. Posted by Melkhi

Your vivid descriptions crack me up. What I want to know is where you got the mental image of a computer exploding, sending a shard of metal through a Bratz nose?!!!!! Hilarious!

LOL

4:58 PM, Jun. 25, 2006 .. Posted by Play2LearnHome

Oh my! It is amazing that they know SO much that we are having to ask them for help. But, we still have more on them....my 9 yr old son found an album and asked where he was supposed to put that "big CD"! LOL I felt smarter than him for once! LOL

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9:20 PM, Jun. 25, 2006 .. Posted by friends4tea

So true! What a cute post!
Hope your week is off to a great start!

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12:55 PM, Jun. 26, 2006 .. Posted by OreoSouza

When I need to laugh, I head right to your blog.

I've visited some other "funny" writers, but yours is tops. Now I have to add this other blog to yours, because she is too funny.

Since we were created in God's image, that means He's probably funnier than you. I can't wait till the serious stuff down here is over so He can spend more time laughing with us.

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10:46 AM, Jun. 27, 2006 .. Posted by Anonymous

What! Your getting tired of my same picture!? I should be able to get something written down today.

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10:53 AM, Jun. 27, 2006 .. Posted by mothman

I forgot to login before I posted that last comment.