Fish in My Hair

I'm alive! And I have photos! (No, not of the surgery.)

I'm happy to report that I'm not dead, yet. I also want to say that if you're ever in need of material for your blog, just go hang out at a hospital (and by hang out, I don't mean literally, despite those wretched gowns they make you wear). It doesn't have to be a long stay. In fact, it probably won't be a long stay unless you're minutes away from death (and then it still might not be a long stay,  ha ha) or unless you are the latest 74 year old woman to deliver triplets.

I realize that hospital personnel are just trying to be pleasant, but really. Can't they come up with a better pre-op greeting than, "How are you today?" How's a patient supposed to answer that? "Great, just great. Getting cancer, having a big chunk of my body removed, puking after anesthesia -- it's a dream come true!"

I did try to lighten the mood a little on the trip to the operating room. As they were wheeling me down the hallway on my stretcher, I raised my arms, roller-coaster-rider fashion, and yelled, "Whoo whee!" Then everything went black. They said later that was because of the medications, but I think they decided I was having a little too much pre-operative fun and one of them whacked me with one of those rubber reflex hammers.

But the worst part is when your little recovery period is over. They wheel you from the privacy of your room back out into the public eye and there you sit, looking like something the cat coughed up. Your eyes are going in two different directions, your nose is itchy, and you've got a sore throat. You've got your bra on, but it's backward. You've got the worst case of bed head hair in history. But the most humiliating thing by far is this:

Yes! You have to wear these lovely support hose (modeled here with denim capris) out in front of everyone, including God and His dog. If I had known this was to be my post-operative attire, I would have prepared accordingly. I'd have taken mine home beforehand, done a tie-dye job on them, and then watched the nurses nervously discuss in whispered tones whether or not to get a psych consult. Good gravy. If you have to wear clothes that scream, "I'm old and infirm!", they might as well scream with flourish.

Anyway. I'm back. Now, where were we?

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4:00 AM, Sep. 11, 2006 .. Posted by Kimberly

I am so glad you are home after your surgery. Our family has been praying for you and hope you have a fast and comfortable recovery. Please feel better soon!

Lord, Help Us

6:48 AM, Sep. 11, 2006 .. Posted by Junosmom

Couldn't they at least afford a pair of support hose that had room for your big toe? What, are Texas hospitals hurtin' for cash? Glad you're back. Haven't had anything to read that's funny in awhile.

The good news is...

9:50 AM, Sep. 11, 2006 .. Posted by BonnieW

Now you can wear socks with your flip-flops!

But you're right... they do need some tie-dying, or something. Oh! I know! Applique!

hi

3:42 PM, Sep. 11, 2006 .. Posted by Juliestew

glad you are back safe and sound, despite the blow to your ego. at least you didn't come out of anesthesia like i did.....pulling out IV's, ripping off your clothes because your body temp is over 200 degrees, beg for more pain medicine, then yell at everyone (including your hubbie) because they wouldn't leave you alone and just let you sleep. Gesh!

i still am not sure what you had done, guess you aren't going to tell us? but i'm glad you are home despite the attractive clothing.... at least you have painted toe nails.

IN HIM
julie

Good Gravy! is right!

7:00 PM, Sep. 11, 2006 .. Posted by Energyfree

At the very least, you could have made matching sock covers (to match your lovely purses!!!)

Glad to hear that you are home, and doing ok.

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9:20 PM, Sep. 11, 2006 .. Posted by barbieheart

Glad you're back! Praying for a fast recovery for you.

--Barbara

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10:52 PM, Sep. 11, 2006 .. Posted by doodah

Yay! You're back! I've been praying for you. And I sent a bunch of folks your way to read and laugh. They love you already.

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11:20 PM, Sep. 11, 2006 .. Posted by Mamaclsn

Those nurses were lucky to have you. And hey..I dunno what you mean about those socks....I think maybe you'll start a trend :o)

Keep us all updated! You know we are all praying for you.

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2:16 AM, Sep. 12, 2006 .. Posted by joedeb

Glad you're back. Praying that all continues to go well with you!
Blessings,
Debbie

I'm blushing

8:50 AM, Sep. 12, 2006 .. Posted by Underdog

From monster MegaPanties to horrible hospital hosiery, your blog has taken a turn for the risque. I am going to need my wife to preview this blog before I can read it from now on. Any more pictures of naked toes on your blog and I am slapping you with a PG-13 rating.

(Good to have you back. Surgery obviously didn't remove your sense of humor.)

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9:52 AM, Sep. 12, 2006 .. Posted by MrsNehemiah

Glad to have you back TC! I can see that they didn't remove the funny bone, we all breath a sigh of relief for that!
Mrs. Nehemiah

Hee Hee!

9:52 PM, Sep. 13, 2006 .. Posted by grace4gayle

All I can say is.....you have very nice toes.

Glad your home.

Gayle

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12:21 PM, Sep. 15, 2006 .. Posted by Anonymous

Oh drat, and her I thought they were all ther rage!!! Dang got go make a return at the store =)) Glad to here you are doing better.

Laurel Wreath
http://lrlwreath.blogspot.com/

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11:11 PM, Sep. 15, 2006 .. Posted by eyecorn

You have very lovely big toes! Praying for a quick recovery and restored strength.
Michelle