Fish in My Hair

Communication skills

Visiting with my parents back in August was interesting, to say the least.

Dad is about 80% deaf and refuses to wear his hearing aids. Mom is in the early stages of Alzheimer's. All normal communication goes right out the window when you walk into their house. This was one of our typical conversations.

Mom: What should we have for lunch?

Me: Let's just have sandwiches. I'll go to the store & get some lunch meat.

Dad: You're going up the street? Why don't you stop in the store and get something for lunch? Maybe some lunch meat.

Me: OKAY, DAD. AND I'LL GET YOU SOME GREEN TEA.

Dad: Humph. You may think you're the queen bee, but I used to change your diapers, missy.

Me: Mom, do you want to come with me?

Mom: Where are you going?

Me: To the grocery store.

Mom: I think I'll just stay here and make lunch.

Me: No, Mom, I'm going to the store to get the stuff to make lunch. I think we need chips, too.

Dad: Why are you worried about your hips? You got arthritis?

Me: CHIPS, DAD, NOT HIPS.

Dad: Did you see that episode on "Everybody Loves Raymond" about Marie's artificial hip?

Me: NO, DAD.

Dad: Well, it'll be on in 15 minutes. Or we can watch Bonanza on channel 31.

Me: WHAT, DO YOU HAVE THE TV SCHEDULE MEMORIZED?

Dad: Yeah, that sounds good! Mom, she's going to pick up some lemon pies!

Mom: Oh! Are you going to the store?

Me, sighing: Yes, mom. I'll be back in a few minutes.

My sister informed me that after I left, the conversation continued...

Dad picks up the phone.

Mom: Who are you calling?

Dad: I'm going to call the prayer chain and ask them to pray for her hip. Did you know she had arthritis? Our kids never tell us anything.

Mom: I know, she didn't even tell me where she was going.

Dad, on phone: Hey, Pastor! I need you to pray for my daughter. We just found out she needs a hip replacement.

Mom: Ask him if he and the missus have plans for lunch. We could meet them at that nice little diner.

Dad: Would you like to join us for lunch at the diner? I think I've heard that they serve good lemon pie.

I'm telling you, it was like trying to converse in Swahili with a gerbil and a manhole cover. It was enough to make my hip hurt. Oy.

I think that I heard that....

9:20 AM, Sep. 15, 2006 .. Posted by Underdog

.....your pastor's daughter needs a lip replacement? I'll add it to the prayer list..... right after Bonanza.....

Oh my goodness!

9:58 AM, Sep. 15, 2006 .. Posted by TaraMomOfThree

You make me laugh every time I come to your blog! I could just hear that conversation happening! Thanks for the giggle!

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12:24 PM, Sep. 15, 2006 .. Posted by Anonymous

I love it, in fact I forwarded it on to my Mom.

PS Sorry for the last comment I made on your surgery success post. I had so many typos in that comment I was embarrassed I added my name!! Ugggg....

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12:37 PM, Sep. 15, 2006 .. Posted by ChathamMommy

*laughter* As the daughter of a man who is middle-stages Alzheimers AND going deaf, I could see that conversation-- but it would be one-on-one.

Thanks for the smile. :)

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8:32 PM, Sep. 15, 2006 .. Posted by hiplvmom2

Oh My Hahahahahaha I so understand this post Hahahahahahahaha I swear you were writing about my MIL Hahahahaha

Dana

Oy times 10!

9:05 PM, Sep. 15, 2006 .. Posted by Nansker

Their lives have brought much levity to ours. Denny laughs his guts out when I pretend to be Mom: " I SAID....!" To get the full effect you have tosay it very loudly and make "said" a two syllable word with the emphasis on "SA-id." I hear Texas is nice this time of year... I may come to visit... for the next 10 years. Ha!

: )

9:08 AM, Sep. 16, 2006 .. Posted by Clarkxbar4

I don't know whether to laugh or cry! Eh, I'll laugh.. LOL!

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9:30 AM, Sep. 16, 2006 .. Posted by JenIG

I'll be praying for your hip.

haha

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4:05 PM, Sep. 16, 2006 .. Posted by sagerats

ROFL! My Dear Man is crying from laughing so hard after I read it to him. He and a friend used to talk like this to each other just for fun. I knew he would appreciate it. Thanks for the laugh as usual TC!

Abiding in the Vine!

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9:14 PM, Sep. 16, 2006 .. Posted by CommunicationFUNdamentals

Oh that's classic! Too funny!!

JoJo

That one is a classic blog

4:51 PM, Sep. 17, 2006 .. Posted by Junosmom

You are very talented.

Funny

8:49 PM, Sep. 17, 2006 .. Posted by 4beachbabies

I haven't stopped by in awhile. You never fail to have me giggleing out loud. I am glad you are doing well and not needing hip replacement.
Blessings,
Andrea

Good luck

6:30 PM, Sep. 22, 2006 .. Posted by kateyz

Hope your hip replacement goes well! I found you while random blogging, I haven't laughed that hard in a while! I've been there!! Being with my aged Grandparents is just like that!!
Kathleen

Having you been spying on my life again?

8:02 PM, Sep. 23, 2006 .. Posted by justamom

ROFL

Hee hee, I can sooooo relate!

I'll be praying for that hip...

Hee hee hee...I can't breathe...sides hurt...haa haa haa!

Thanks for the giggles!!!!!

Just a mom...

LOL!

10:10 PM, Sep. 27, 2006 .. Posted by Toby

Not to laugh at your expense, or to slight anything that you or your family is going through, but THAT WAS HILARIOUS! My pastor had his father live with him until his death, and at times it was SO funny. I'm still laughing...thanks.
...

Edited by TC on Jan. 29, 2007 at 8:22 PM