Fish in My Hair

Dear Mr. Folgers

Dear Mr. Folgers,

I am sending you this letter to let you know how thrilled I was to find your product on the shelves of my local StuffMart. As someone who believes that the two major food groups are coffee and chocolate, I had to leave the store as quickly as possible so I could get home to try it out. And because other shoppers were beginning to notice that I was drooling.

It is at times like this that words are simply not enough to express my thanks, so I have set out to find a way to adequately express my gratitude for your creation of this heavenly brew. These have been my ideas so far.

1. Because I already have a perfectly fine husband, I cannot offer myself to you in marriage. However, I do have a couple of still-single cousins if you are interested and like cats. Lots of cats.
2. I also cannot offer to name my firstborn child after you, because my firstborn child is well over 16 years old and rather likes the name he's had all those years. I did try to talk him into letting me nickname him "Folger" or even "Folg," but he adamantly refused, saying that the name "Folg" reminds him of a fungus. My future grandchildren are still a possibility, though.
3. I considered building a memorial to you in my yard, tastefully constructed of empty coffee cans and assorted coffee cups, in a modern art style. But my husband says he doesn't want one more thing to mow around. (I think if I could get it listed in some of the tourist brochures, we could make a bit of money by charging admission. Especially if we displayed a life-size bust of you crafted completely from coffee beans. What do you think?)
4. I suggested turning our little Jetta into a Folgermobile, but then my husband reminded me of the 3 tickets I received for traffic violations last year, and I decided I don't need to draw any additional law enforcement attention to myself. Plus, have you ever seen what the insurance premiums are on a car that resembles a bag of coffee?! Great googly woogly!
5. I think it would be awesome if I could wear a Folgers t-shirt while bopping around town. But you would have to send one to me, because I'm sure that if I made my own, I'd end up serving ten-to-twenty for trademark infringement, and I don't think inmates have the option of ordering Folgers Chocolate Truffle for breakfast.

Well, I'm a little stuck for ideas beyond those, but I'm sure something will come to me soon, since I've slugged down four cups of this stuff in the last two hours and the caffeine is beginning to kick in. I will keep you updated as to what I finally come up with.

A devoted consumer,

TC

P.S. If you ever decide to campaign for King of the Western Hemisphere, you have my vote.

TC I drink Tea

12:19 AM, Aug. 2, 2007 .. Posted by bubbebobbie

And you have me running out to buy this coffee.
T-shirt??? Heck they need to hire you on the spot!

Because of Jesus, Bobbie

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8:09 AM, Aug. 2, 2007 .. Posted by MiryClay

You are soooo clever. You'd be great in coming up with advertising campaigns. I'm going to have to go out and see if I can find this in our local stores.

Blessings,
Lori

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8:22 AM, Aug. 2, 2007 .. Posted by Chris

i had a monster yesterday does that count....for anything lol

cubs won yesterday. let the coffee flow

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8:46 AM, Aug. 2, 2007 .. Posted by sunydazy

The Head Kook and I discovered this stuff recently! Yummy!
Sadly, I ran out of the chocalate-y goodness and I'm currently sipping another Folgers treat...vanilla biscotti.

=D

8:51 AM, Aug. 2, 2007 .. Posted by Antelope

Wow. You'd better hide that real quick, or else you might be getting a surprise visit from my mom in the middle of the night!! LOL Hey, I might even like coffee if it tasted like chocolate! =D

Jess

ahhhhh

11:43 AM, Aug. 2, 2007 .. Posted by Cassydoodle

Just think about it-- if you send this letter to Folgers, you would have a promising cameo on their commercials. Also, they just might have you sing, "The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup!" ;)

Edited by Cassydoodle on Aug. 2, 2007 at 11:44 AM

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12:10 PM, Aug. 2, 2007 .. Posted by CerealKiller

Chocolate coffee? Mmmmm.....

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5:55 PM, Aug. 2, 2007 .. Posted by MiryClay

I'm not signed in, but had to come back to tell you that Bill and I went out to eat at our favorite steakhouse tonight, and then went over to Wally World to pick up some of Mr. Folger's heavenly brew for ourself. Now, you do realize that I am in BIG trouble now, since my blogging has started to cost him money. LOL. Thanks for sharing....Yummy!

Blessings,
Lori

I thought you were going the non-caffienated route?

8:33 PM, Aug. 2, 2007 .. Posted by Keeley

...or was this too much of a temptation?

Oh. My. Goodness.

8:58 PM, Aug. 2, 2007 .. Posted by bonni

...and just when I'm trying in my weak-willed way to give up coffee. I am down to one cup a day, decaff.

I am soooo in trouble now that I know about Chocolate Truffle Coffee. My coffee addiction will never end. I am feeling like I need a coffee. Now. At 10pm.

So, um, did you really send the letter? Because I need to know if I can just copy yours and send it myself, or do I have to change a few words first?

:o)

5:13 PM, Aug. 3, 2007 .. Posted by CountryAtHeart

y.u.m!!! Hey but I thought no coffee for you???

Mmmm

9:05 PM, Aug. 3, 2007 .. Posted by midwifemom

That's how I like my coffee. With lots of chocolate in it.