Q: How many women with MENOPAUSEdoes it take to change a light bulb? A: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY?
Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out.And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS!But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb wouldSTILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATEDFROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !! I'm sorry. What was the question?
Do you remember the show "Mad about You"...sometime in the first or second season, there was this scene where Jamie walks out of the hallway where the bathroom was carrying a roll of TP and the holder center. She "doh-slaps" Paul on the back of the head (he's reading a paper, oblivious) to get his attention, then makes this exaggerated DUH face, and shows him, silently how to put the new roll on the holder, then silently stomps back to the bathroom to put it away. I think of that every time I find an empty roll...
WHY DON'T THEY SEE IT?!?!?!?!!
I change the lightbulbs, the toilet paper rolls, and FILL THE ICE TRAYS. As far as the trash never getting emptied....I was looking around for the video camera thinking that my family was doing a trashbag comercial to show just how much the bag could actually hold. LOL.
Worst than toilet paper? Empty water bottles in the fridge in the hottest summer ever in Greece. They take it out. Ok. Why they put it back in since they are empty?
Untitled Comment
9:50 AM, Sep. 5, 2007
.. Posted by Anonymous
Oh my goodness, that was so funny because it's so TRUE!! And not just the ranting menopausal woman, but all the events in the story are TRUE!! Thanks for sharing - Karen (bensrib)
Some things are universal. I bet at any given time that rant is being spoken in the native language of 12 different countries. In fact...I feel a song coming on...
(to the tune of We are the World)
We are the world
We are the women
We are the ones who change the TP
It's the task we're given
When the trash needs taken
It's piled up to our eyes
How can you not notice this?
Can you not see?...
8:46 AM, Sep. 9, 2007
.. Posted by adropofsanity.wordpress.com
That I'm not the only one!!! My parents would always give me a hard time about leaving stuff around the house. My dad's famous phrase is/was "You leave a wake of destruction!"
This was, to some extent, true. NOW... I AM THE ONE cleaning up behind others. Why leave the tp roll on the bathroom floor where it can get wet or on the sink where when you brush your hair it falls in!? Why??!!!! Put the Q-tip box back, close your hair gel container, do the dishes for once and the garbage? There is a corner of our apartment DEDICATED to our over-flowing trash. The cat box? Yeah... haha! You're FUNNY!!!
So yes. I agree. I have wanted to slam heads into the empty tp roll (still in the holder) many a times. All of my complaining has gotten the roll changed a good... what, 3 times? I understand, WE understand where you're coming from. And I'm SO happy that I'm not the only one (although sorry that you all have to carry the same burden). Whew. This makes me feel human again. I thought I was just superhormonal (yes, one word) or something.
Oh, and this isn't only menopausal, I'm in my early 20's!!!
Untitled Comment
3:10 PM, Sep. 11, 2007
.. Posted by Anonymous
I commented on your blog a year ago letting you know that you are funny. (someone had to tell you) Now I'm commenting again just to make sure you haven't forgotten... You are hilarious! Thanks for the laughs.
Oh my.... This was just what I needed to read today. It has been "one of THOSE days" at my house and I needed a good laugh. Thanks so much for taking time to blog. I am always uplifted when I read your blog.
