I live in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. Here we have a lot of liquid sunshine and an umbrella is a valuable piece of equipment in order to stay dry. The funny thing is, rain is not limited to the outdoors. We oftentimes have rain in our lives.
The dryer breaks, the baby's teething, the cookies burn, one of the children gets hurt, our home is robbed, or even terrible things like a loved one dying. Life rains. Sometimes it only sprinkles. Sometimes it drizzles. At times it pours - even so hard it's raining cats and dogs. When precipitation reaches 100 percent we need to be prepared by already having an umbrella of protection up and in place.
I see submission like an umbrella, a protection device for women. Like the American Express card, one I never want to be without.
USE IT OR LOSE IT
God's perfect plan is to provide husbands to protect wives from the rain and storms of life. In order for us to function in our God-given roles as wife, mother, homeschooler, friend, chauffer, etc., we need to be sheltered from the elements. We know God has things worked out for our good, not to hurt us. The authority of our husband is a wonderful gift He has given us. We can utilize it or ignore it and attempt to be equal partners with our husband.
How do you practice submission? Every year we get a form from the State of Washington to fill out and return with the sales tax we have collected. On the envelope it says a number of times, "Do not staple." Well, since I am the obedient, submissive type (not!) I nicely insert our check with the monies owed and proceed to staple it over and over again! I justify this by thinking, "My tax dollars pay them to sit there and remove staples! Besides, where are their mothers? They don't even say please!"
Submission does not come naturally to me. It is something that I have to work on every day. What I have learned is that submission is a very positive and powerful principle that God designed for everyone: man, woman, single, and married. Webster's defines it as "yielding to authority."
SUBMIT TO WHOM?
God calls us to submit ourselves to Him first. James 4:7 says,
"Submit yourselves therefore unto God."
That's really the crux of this issue. When I'm submissive to God and to His authority, then it's not quite so threatening to be submissive in other relationships. We are also called to yield to His Word. If we feel one way and the Bible says something else, we are to do as His Word instructs.
1 Peter 2:13 says we're to submit to the government. 1 Peter 2:18 says we're called to submit to our employer. Hebrews 13:17 says that our pastor has the right to make a final decision.
It is easier to swallow our assignment from God when we remember that men are called to submit to four times as many things as married women. A man is to submit to God, love his wife as Christ loved the church, be the spiritual leader and/or the final decision maker, and to live with his wife according to understanding. That's a big bill!
Okay ladies, here it is in plain and simple English: wives are not the authority.
"Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands . . ." 1 Peter 3:1a.
We are under authority and it is good. It is not a position of weakness. From practicing submission I have come to understand what real strength is. Being strong enough to submit can be a real test. You see, faith is what makes submission work. We have to have a strong faith to believe God sees all. He cares. He will intervene on our behalf and work out His perfect will through our husbands.
HE MIGHT MESS UP, BUT I CAN'T
What about when we "know" our husband is making the wrong decision? Not a big deal for God.
"The king's heart is in the Lord's hand. God turns his heart as the rivers of water in which ever way God wants the heart to go" Proverbs 21:1.
Our trust is ultimately not in human authority, but in Him.
That's what makes submission so powerful. It takes faith to believe in it. It takes faith to be still when you see your husband making a decision you disagree with. It takes faith to believe that God can intervene in that situation and to allow God the space to do it.
What if your husband doesn't take charge? He might be used to you wearing the pants and may not be eager to pick them up after you discard them. That is not your problem. Take them off, leave them, and walk away in confidence that you have done your part. Any errors that are made (unpaid bills, wrong choices, or even the decision made not to decide) will be the right ones, if you are not making them.
If he sees you really have no intention of reverting to your former ways, he is more likely to pick up and go. You can be serene in the knowledge that this is right. Once he decides, I can rest easy even if he did not choose what I wanted. I am doing it right by following. I can't mess up if I follow!
WHAT ABOUT MY TWO CENTS?
Don't you worry, honey. God didn't give us all these good ideas and then muzzle us. The Bible says,
"speaking the truth in love,"
which means I can tell him how I feel. But if I get to a point where I'm going to sin and violate God's principles by saying something derogatory, putting him down, or not using edifying words (Ephesians 4:29 says to "do everything with edification"), then I have to stop. If I don't stop, I will fall short of Philippians 2:14-15 (a verse I often quote to the children) which says, "Do all things (Does all mean everything? Just checking.), without murmuring or complaining . . ."Submission doesn't mean you won't ever be able to express an opinion. You can say what is on your heart. You just have to do it within the guidelines He laid out for us. God created wives to be helpmates.
"And the LORD God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him'" Genesis 2:18.
Why? Because He knew our husband needed help. What help am I to Randy if I think exactly like he does?
A MODEL TO FOLLOW
I know this may come as a shock to you, but it's hard for women of the 21st century to believe God meant what He said.
"But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of
Christ is God" 1 Corinthians 11:3.
Jesus modeled submission by setting aside His own desires ("Not my will . . .") and so does the Holy Spirit. He's like a stagehand in a play, a vital "behind the scenes" role.
"He [the Holy Spirit] will not speak on His own authority. . . He will glorify Me . . ." Matthew 16:7, 13-15.
Just as the Holy Spirit is a helper willingly submitting to the authority of the Father, a wife is the helper God gave her husband.
"Wives, be in subjection to your own husbands as unto the Lord. . . For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the Church. But as the church is subject to Christ, let the wives also be to their husbands in everything," Ephesians 5: 22-24.
A MATTER OF THE HEART
When I was pregnant with our fifth child, we found out in the last month that the baby was breech. "No big deal," I thought. To make a long story short, Randy decided that we would have a C-section. I was, shall we say
less than happy. I was furious that he would make me do this! Satan's well-used lie I mean line Its my body" and a multitude of other reasons screamed through my mind. Yet even after I calmly (crying can still be calm!) told Randy all the logical reasons why this was not necessary or wise, he stood firm in his decisionI was really quite proud of myself. I obeyed. I thought, "I did what the dummy said to do." See how submissive I am? It was about a week later when I realized I had not submitted my heart and without doing that I had not done anything right. Submission is more than acting obediently. It is an attitude of our heart.
Once I realized my sin and confessed to God and Randy I was filled with peace. What agonizing days those were for me. I was joyful over our newborn baby, but struggling inside with resentment toward my husband. When I set aside my own desires and admitted Randy did indeed have the right-and actually had been commanded-to make a decision, I felt joyous. And as so often happens, a few days later when talking to the surgeon, we learned that Kiley's umbilical cord was extremely short and the C-section was a wise choice.What a lesson I began to learn that day, submission is more than outward obedience. If we tell one of our children to put away a pan and they do it, but slam the cupboard door, we will not be pleased. We immediately recognize this rebellion. Expect total, immediate, and happy responses from your children and yourself. Accept nothing less.
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Bunches of Blessings,
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"΄¨`·.. * Lorrie *. .·΄¨`"
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May. 8, 2006 - Wow
You really summed it up here. I like the way you put it, easy to swallow. Submission was something that I did NOT learn growing up. Oh, outward compliance maybe, but always internal rebellion. Our first years of marriage were rough to put it nicely and a LOT of it had to do with my sin problem of wanting things "my way." Well, enough said. I had to learn it, Jesus wanted me to learn it and so, I continue learning. It isn't something that is even remotely natural to me, and yet, you're right, and the Bible is clear: submitting to Christ means submitting to my man.
I just wanted to share something that I'd learned when I was dealing with this in my life, about the "What if he messes up?!" ...I felt (and sometimes still feel), like mistakes are inexcusable. I mean he has me as a helpmeet, so he should listen to my advice! I needed to show him the right way. If he messes up, well, that's a reflection on me... and... well, you know the feeling... (as if I am incapable of making a mistake!)
Then I studied the passage in 1Peter3:5 - This is how the holy women of the past made themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their husbands... (slight paraphrasing...) MAIN POINT: Be like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give in to fear.
-If anyone had a right to balk or oppose her husband it would be Sarah... I mean Abraham told her to say she was his SISTER! Pharoah took her for his wife...Yikes, now that would be frightening! That was a STUPID decision for Abraham to have made, it was NOT in Sarah's best interest to submit, and you can bet your bottom dollar, I would not have been silent. But it says that we must do what is right and not give way to fear. FEAR. Fear that my husband will do something embarrassing or stupid, or make the wrong decision or whatever. Resist the temptation to fear, and submit our wills to Christ (his will is submission to husbands). That way, I can trust that Christ will take care of things even in the midst of mistakes, afterall I make plenty of those myself!
Anyway, I was just remembering... This is something I must continue to give constant attention to.
Amy
Cajamarca, Peru