Reflections from Lorrie's Laptop - A response to your questions on bickering:

• Mar. 3, 2007 - A response to your questions on bickering:

InkTraveler, I don't allow brawling. That would bring an immediate spanking and they would be told in no uncertain terms that this would not be tolerated or allowed. Of course, it sounds like you already have some of this so I would tell them you are sorry you ever let it start and that you won't from now on. Line out what the consequences of such actions will be and then absolutely follow through. Of course you know, if you aren't going to faithfully follow through then don't even bother with any of this.

So to explain it a little better, in my family tying them together is better than the other ways we take care of bickering. It restores harmony in their relationship and takes just a minute for them to repent of their folly and be laughing together over the absurdity of their current situation!

Anonymous, what I said was, "don't tie them together and let them go." Meaning that if you are going to tie them together get some housework out of the deal. The idea isn't to distract them from bickering but to give them a negative yet teaching consequence. So if you tie them together and let them go off on their own, they might just have fun which would not be the purpose until the lesson was learned.

Blessing to both of you as you raise His children. May you someday hear, "Well done." from His lips.

Love ya!

Lorrie

Make sense now?

• Feb. 28, 2007 - I have a question

Posted by InkTraveler

Thanks for your article - a good reminder that most families deal with bickering. About tying them together, do you ever find that it causes the argument to escalate into a full blown brawl? Also, what age would you consider too young (if any) for this technique to be effective?

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• Feb. 28, 2007 - Clarification

Posted by Anonymous

In step #4, did you mean to say "Do tie them together" or "Don't tie them together"...I can't tell from the context.

Thanks for a wonderful article. This week has been an especially bad one for bickering, so this is very timely.

--
Grateful For Grace,

Lorrie
www.TEACHmagazine.com

• Mar. 4, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by CommunicationFUNdamentals

Oh I agree. Follow up and consistancy is vital with discipline.

You have some great topics of discussion for Christian moms on your blog. I pass your blog along to many! Thanks for all you do to help other Christain homeschooling moms!

I would like to invite you to participate in something I have for Christian homeschool moms on my blog each week. Every Sunday is Defending the Faith SONdays on my blog. I have been doing it for quite a while now. I would like to invite you and your readers to join me. Come on out to my blog today or any Sunday and see how you can help bring awareness to the Christian community about the vital need to prepare our children to "...be ready to give an answer for the hope that is in you with meekness and fear." from 1Peter 3:15.

JoJo

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• Mar. 6, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Lizzie

Hi, I received a copy of your Fall 2006 magazine in a care package from one of my blog readers.

I enjoyed looking through it today and am entering your leave a comment contest;)

I am homeschooling my son alone while my husband is in prison--I need all the good info I can find!
Thanks
Lizzie
http://adustyframe.wordpress.com/

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• Mar. 8, 2007 - A great book

Posted by mom2two

is 'Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends' by the Mally siblings. They talk about how you need to work at the sibling relationship with some great ideas!

Yvonne :o)

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• Mar. 11, 2007 - a little more help

Posted by krisdr

I need a little more clarification. I tried the tie up thing and clean the bathroom floor together. How should I tie them up together and does it defeat the purpose that they wanted to stay tied up after they were done? It did not take long for fun and laughter to come from them. I can't wait to meat you at the New Mexico Homeschool convention.

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• Mar. 13, 2007 - Tying your kids together?

Posted by Sally

Don't you EVER think of the consequences of telling a world full of strangers to do things like tying their children up? It might be funny in your house, and it might be done in a light hearted way, but you've passed yourself off as an expert in child rearing. In some instances, your advice will be multiplied and can so easily become abuse! We see examples of this sort of thing escalating to tragic results in the news all the time. Children and rope are NOT a healthy combination!

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• Mar. 13, 2007 - Great Idea

Posted by MaxwellAcademy

I never thought about tying them together and making them do a chore. What a great idea, and one I'll definitely try the next time I hear them bickering.
Dianna

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• Mar. 13, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by PlaidHearts

I once tied 2 of my children together for arguing. It was the absolute BEST disciplinary action I have ever taken. I tied them together at the wrist with a bandana. They then had to do everything together for a couple of hours. At one point they untied themselves which of course gained them more time together. We went grocery shopping, they did chores, etc. They were not untied until I could see them acting as a team. I promise you, that was about 4 years ago and they have NEVER argued like that again.

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• Mar. 14, 2007 - tying them up!

Posted by Sholeen

I laughed when I read this. What a great idea! However, being a "sparky sanguine" type personality I love to throw humor at anything and help my children see the foolishness of their actions. I can see where a ... say.... choleric might handle this idea inappropriately. We all need to prayerfully consider what works for us! My 4 children are all teens now and we're mostly done with bickering (Praise GOD!!) but what I used to do was tell them that they obviously needed some practice in walking in love toward each other and that they had to stay in their rooms and play together until that was accomplished. I would never do this with more than 2 children at a time - could still turn into a volatile situation! Minimum time was 30 minutes. Many times what happened was that by the time I told them they could come out, they were so busy having fun and enjoying each other they wanted to stay and continue playing! Mission accomplished! Another similar idea for those that just can't bring themselves to tying their blessings together....

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• Mar. 27, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

I wholeheartedly disagree with your solution. Taking a rope to a child only plants seeds of negativity and abuse. Tie them together one week, and the next week they will most likely be trying the same method on friends or their pets.... No way. And FORCING them to do chores as punishment?? How exactly can that be constued as a good idea? They'll grow to hate housework.....

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About Me

Lorrie is known for her humorous and gentle words of encouragement to other keepers of the home. She is happily married to Randy and the mother of 8 children. A popular homeschool convention speaker and author, Lorrie is also the publisher of TEACHmagazine.