By Mrs. Lorrie Flem

www.TEACHmagazine.com

Tattling is something I am all too familiar with. Honestly, I don't think it is familiarity learned from our children. Unfortunately, I know what I do based on my own tattle telling. Now, that I am the mother of 8 I have a new perspective on this.

When we had some tattling in our home, I set out to find a cure. These will work as well as penicillin!

Now that our home is more peaceful without so much tattling, I can see it more clearly. Tattling is destructive to family harmony and relationships. It is also a tricky topic in that sometimes tattling is the right thing to do. So let's see if we can make sense out of the ins and outs of tattle telling.

A tattle teller is someone who tells tales. They may be true tales, they may be partly true tales, and they may not be true at all. Tattling is telling secrets and the reason in their heart behind the tale is what you really want to identify.

If your child tells you that they saw their sister do something she wasn't supposed to but doesn't tell you their brother did it too, then they are tattling to get someone in trouble. This shows you that their heart is wrong and you need to address that even more than you do the issue of tattle telling.

Tattle telling is not wrong when they think they need to tell you about something wrong that was done. I like to teach our children what God says, "a talebearer tells secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit conceals the matter, Proverbs 11:13." We need to teach our children to only tell things that have to be told to keep someone from getting hurt.

A good way to discern whether something is tattling or not is if it concerns the child who is telling you about it. If they just want to tell what one person did to another then it would be tattling because it did not involve them. However, teach your children to always tell you if they have been hurt. This would not be tattle telling but needed information for a parent.  

To sum it up, teach them to ask themselves if they are trying to get someone in trouble or out of danger? Another thing I teach our children to discern if it is tattling is to "think." If they remember the first and last two letters in the word 'think' are TNK this can help them qualify their information as to if it is true, necessary, and kind. If it is, then it isn't tattling.

Teach your children that God wants us to be meek, showing gentleness to all people. If we all were tattlers the world wouldn't be a very pleasant place. Only telling what is true, necessary, and kind would end much bickering and arguing. God says it like this, "When no one is speaking evil of others there is peace, Proverbs 26:20." 

Teach them to resolve conflicts on their own whenever possible. Tell them another good way to judge if it is necessary telling is to think about if have gone to the person who hurt them first. Did the child who wants to tell ask them not to do it again? Teach them about Moses and how he got weary of trying to solve people's problems. Tell them that you do too. Teach them to not wear you until they have tried to solve things on their own first.

I am here to tell you that tattle telling can be cured.

Grateful For Grace,

Lorrie
www.TEACHmagazine.com