If you think he's the one that needs to change, you might want to read The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie O'Martian.  While reading it, wives will actually be "changing" themselves first and then a back and forth healing process will happen between husbands and wives.  Praying for husbands changes wives' attitudes toward them, wives change, and then husbands change along with and for their wives because of a mutual love and respect that is being built up through prayer.  AMEN!

Although some don't agree with first time obedience, the Pearl's offer helpful advice on this very topic in their books To Train Up a Child and No Greater Joy Volumes 1 & 2.  Some argue that this is not "grace-based" discipline that Jesus demonstrates, but much Scripture is quoted in their books, so they are at least worth reading in order to glean the help that they offer.  Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tripp is another great book with a little bit different approach. 

Did you know that you can learn a lot about child training through doing a Bible study on shepherding?  There's an interesting fact that many people don't know about the job of being a shepherd.  Ever wonder what a shepherd does with a stubborn little lamb that keeps wandering off in the wrong direction?  He breaks the lamb's two front legs!  OW!  That's gotta hurt!  The cool part comes next.

The shepherd picks up his little lamb, mends the broken bones, and carries the lamb on his shoulders until they are completely healed.  Know what happens during this time?  It's called bonding!  The lamb becomes so completely dependent on the shepherd's loving care that it becomes devoted to being obedient.  Once the lamb has fully recovered from disciplinary action, the shepherd rewards the lamb with a bell to wear.  This bell proclaims to the flock that this is the new leader!  The "bell sheep" is now in charge of the flock because it will ALWAYS follow the shepherd and will help guide the rest of the flock and keep them from dangerous wandering.

A wonderful song to sing with children before bed:

I am Jesus' little lamb,

Ever glad at heart I am,

For my Savior gently guides me,

Knows my needs and well provides me,

Loves me every day the same,

Even calls me by my name!

One thing we all seem to have in common is that we're all dealing with PERFECTIONISM.  There's a really great book that has absolutely nothing to do with homeschooling that helps those who read it recognize the root cause of perfectionism.  If we change the way we think about ourselves, then we are better able to homeschool.....How to Succeed at Being Yourself by Joyce Meyer helps to "seperate who we are from what we do."  I encourage everyone to read this book.

The Interest Inventory provided surprising, almost across the board results!  Candace and I went over those surveys that were returned and found the following needs (general lables were given to various ways of stating the same basic need):

1.  What concerns you most during the day with regards to helping your child learn at home? - Habit of Attention, priorities, environment/mood

2.  What concerns you most about yourself as an eduator? -  curriculum choice, organization, insecurity

3.  What area(s) need(s) tailoring in your homeschool? - schedule, organization, accountability

4.  What concerns you most with regards to fulfilling your role as wife during this season of your life? - answers mainly focussed on ME instead of on HUSBAND, there seems to be a need for refocussing on what can we do for our husbands and NOT what they can do for us. 

5.  What help do you need to allow your motherhood to become a relaxing, loving, and enjoyable experience? - priorities, child training, alternative testing (here again the focus was on ME TIME and obvious need for child training).

6.  What concerns you most in your tasks as homemaker? - child training, need a clear picture of clean, peace from decently and in order (there seems to be a need by many to simplify and streamline)

7.  Suggestions - Bible/book study, tea, nature study, Candace's charity ideas, need for newsletter contributions (& supplies), recipes, game time, possible directory.

We chose to have a signup sheet for each upcoming meeting.  We'd like to visit in each others' homes and offer each other hospitality and welcoming friendship and thought that this would be an organized way to accomplish these things.  Each meeting will have a hostess and 3 "caterers".  The hostess will make the main dish.  The other three are in charge of bringing her requested sides and dessert.

We opened meetings in prayer asking the Holy Spirit to bless us with the courage and stamina to be the wives, mothers, educators, and friends God has called us to be.

We keep the Focusing Ideas in mind (they were the topic for the Feb. '02 meeting).

Here's a review of the Focusing Ideas-

There will only be one topic per month due to the results of the interest surveys.  We can learn so much from each topic that it would be a shame to cut each short to cover more ground.

~Let us encourage each other to remain focused on the ideas for each evening.

~Let us foster a warm environment that maintains respect for each other's opinions and at the same time gently guides each other to fulfillment in our roles as wives, mothers, educators, and friends. 

~Because our time away from home is so precious, in confidentiality, let us reserve judgement and be respectful of the tasks at hand, limiting outside issues to fellowship time after meetings have gracefully concluded.

Tailor Made Topics of Encouragement for 2002

March- On Task, Self-Discipline, Habit of Attention:  Whatever You Call it, JUST DO IT!

April- Nature Study:  Resting in God’s Arms While Enjoying His Creation

May- Curriculum:  What Do You Use?  What Does She Use?  What Do They Use?  What Should OUR FAMILY Use?

June- “I am My Beloved’s and My Beloved is Mine”:  Making the Most of This Season

July- Organization:  Home and School Tailoring Apprenticeship

August- Mothering by Heart:  This is the Day that the Lord has Made, Let Me Rejoice and be Glad in it!

September- Homemaking Hints:  Home—The Training Center

October- “The Brother Offended Checklist”:  Honestly Friends! 

November- We Praise Thee, O God, Our Redeemer, Creator:  Thanksgiving Party!

These topics of encouragement were designed after observing common needs and interests mentioned in the 2002 interest inventory.  The answers were compiled and nine meetings were planned for March through November.  Eight of the meetings were based on needs/interests that the majority of the group expressed on the inventories.  The October meeting included distribution of a new interest inventory designed to create a topic of encouragement calendar for 2003. The November meeting was designated as a time to give thanks to God for the wonderful blessings He provided for each of us through this group and within our individual families.  Calendars were given to members at the Thanksgiving party.  December is such a busy time for families.  Therefore, it was decided that we’d take a break and meet again in January 2003. 

Tailor Made Interest Inventory for 2002

In February of 2002, Tailors were asked to answer the following “interest inventory” in order to find out the needs of the group.  This provided helpful information for organizing meeting topics.  These questions have proven very helpful in subsequent years and may provide other small groups with the means to support each other more effectively.  This may or may not be necessary for other support groups, but it offered an outline for our group and many were blessed by the topics of encouragement.  They were often like mini-workshops for homeschoolers held in a comfortable home setting instead of a convention center far from home.

What concerns you most during the day with regards to helping your child learn at home?

What concerns you most about yourself as an educator?

What area(s) need tailoring in your homeschool?

What concerns you most with regards to fulfilling your role as wife during this season of your life?

What help do you need to allow your motherhood to become a relaxing, loving, and enjoyable experience?

What concerns you most in your tasks as homemaker?

What friendship needs do you feel are important at this time?

Anything else you’d like to add?

This interest inventory was created with the help of the Holy Spirit by Candace Janis and Becca Innocenti, February 2002.  Please feel free to use these questions with your support group, but remember copyright laws while doing so.  This interest inventory may not be published by anyone other than the authors.  Who knows?  We may write a book someday.  HeeHeeHee    

Tailor Made began as a support group for homeschooling mothers in October of 2001.  We met informally to encourage each other.  Quoting Candace, we realized that “we are all on a unique adventure and one size does not fit all!”  She’d noticed we needed this and got it started in her home with a lovely invitation to get together.

Our first meetings included read aloud time from The Little Prince, by Antoine de Saint-Exupery and great snippets from Robert Fulghum’s All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten:  Uncommon Thoughts on Common Things.  We enjoyed it when Deb demonstrated how to mix and roll flour tortillas, and, YES, we ate them with butter! 

We shared ideas about language arts and music resources, talked about Charlotte Mason’s educational philosophy, and ate plenty chocolate with our coffee.  Of course, we also enjoyed curriculum swapping and great food and fellowship.

After some trial and error, we chose to bring more accountability and stability to the group as a whole by bringing a sincere focus to the meetings.  Focusing ideas emerged to direct meetings toward a goal.

TAILOR MADE FOCUSING IDEAS: 

Let us encourage each other to remain focused on the ideas for each evening.

Let us foster a warm environment that maintains respect for each other’s opinions and at the same time gently guides each other to fulfillment in our roles as wives, mothers, educators, and friends.

Because our time away from home is so precious, in confidentiality, let us reserve judgment and be respectful of the tasks at hand, limiting outside issues to fellowship time after meetings gracefully conclude.

Tailor Made met quite often between the fall of 2001 and early 2005 with some time off here and there.  At this point, it is being chronicled in blog format by Becca in the hope that others might find encouragement to continue their homeschooling adventures.  Occasional invitations to meet as a group may be sent out from time to time so that we can enjoy each other's company.  I hope that you will  find this to be an inspirational resource as you tailor your children's education while under the apprenticeship of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. 

Shalom,

Becca<><

Please feel free to enjoy going through notes from past meetings.  These include quotes from various books, articles, and websites.  Please understand that this means some information found in this blog is copyrighted, so give full credit where it is due.  Notes will include the name(s) of those who gathered the information to share, too.  Consider notes and quotes to have equal copyright status.  Thank you.