Jun. 4, 2008
I'm Gonna Miss This!!
If you listen to the 1st song on my playlist "Your Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins, I know right now that I'm gonna miss this! I gave my Testimony at Church on Saturday night to a group of 10 ladies. I looked back over the last 20 years of my marriage, my 3 little girls, my precious little boy who's waiting on me in Heaven, all of the many things that God has brought me thru. I sometimes wonder "Why". Just that simple statement "Why". I don't know if I'll ever know why, but I know that he uses what we go thru to help others. I continue to feel grief every year on my little boy's birthday (he'd be 12). I think if you're a Mom, you can't lose a child and not feel grief at different points in your life. I see my girls playing music and I wonder what instrument he would've played, if he could've sang his harmony part. (isn't that silly) Losing him was the hardest thing that has ever happened in my life and I don't know why I feel so compelled to write on here about him (John Robert). I ache so very strongly sometimes for him. To hold him in my arms like I hold my 3 girls. To lean down and smell his hair, to rub my hand over his back, to whisper and tell him "I love you" while he's asleep on my lap. I know that when I get to Heaven, John Robert will be there waiting for me and I have the assurance that I will see him then...
As I watch my girls growing I can't help but know that this is going by way too fast for me. I want to savor each and every minute. I don't want to have any regrets. I want my girls to know without a doubt that their Mom LOVES THEM WITH ALL SHE HAS!!!!
I'm sorry for sounding like a loon tonight and I don't know what has brought all of this on, but look over me!!
If you haven't read my sister's blog : luvs2bemom--she's having a GIRL!!!!!!! Harmony Michelle--She's naming her after me!! Can't ya tell that she loves her big sister!!
I'll try not to be so long in blogging next time.
Talk to you all later,
Tammy
Comments
Jun. 4, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by dixiecajuns
Hey Tammy,
It was so good to see you and the family tonight. I could feel the pain in your words. Although I've never lost a child, I have lost the "Love of My Life". But, we both have Jesus and with him and only him, can we both make it. And we both have the knowledge that we WILL see them again. :--)
Love to you,
Josephine
• Permanent Link
Jun. 4, 2008 - What a friend we have in Jesus
Posted by indygirl
God is using you to help other people.. I have not lost a child and do not know this pain, but we do know that Jesus is with us always to help us thru our daily struggles until we can be with our loved ones again..I'll be praying for you.
• Permanent Link
Jun. 4, 2008 - Thanks for making me cry!!!!
Posted by luvs2bemom
You will never know how much I have learned from you in my life. Simple things and not so simple things. I don't know why, exactly, but even though you are the oldest I always considered myself the toughest, like I was to look after you. Maybe because you were the quietest and shy. Maybe it was because you passed out at the sight of blood.LOL!! But I have learned that you have strength that comes from a great source. I have witnessed your pain and loss and saw you use it to help others. I have seen you walk out of your comfort zone and talk about things only I would talk about without blushing. I want you to know that I love you and I am so proud that you've allowed God to use you and your life to help others. I am honored to name my baby girl after my big sister, my best friend!!!
• Permanent Link
