I received an email today from one of my friends entitled, "They're Back!  Church Bulletins".  I laughed so much.  Then I printed this, took it over to my Mom's house and read them to her before dinner.  We both laughed so hard we cried.  Read on and laugh.  It is good to find our sense of humor again.  Although, I would croak if I was the one who had made any of these errors and they appeared in my church bulletin. This is a good reason to make sure our children know how to proof read and edit their work.

>>>> > They're Back!  Church Bulletins:
>>>>>
>>>>>Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences
>>>>>actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church
>>>>>services:
>>>>>
>>>>>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
>>>>>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon
>>>>>tonight:  "Searching for Jesus."
>>>>>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in
>>>>>the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
>>>>>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid
>>>>>of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
>>>>>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled
>>>>>due to a conflict.
>>>>>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>
>>>>>Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
>>>>>---------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again,"
>>>>>giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
>>>>>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>For those of you w ho have children and don't know it, we have a
>>>>>nursery downstairs.
>>>>>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all
>>>>>the help they can get.
>>>>>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the
>>>>>choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
>>>>>---------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in
>>>>>the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
>>>>>---------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church
>>>>>hall. Music will follow.
>>>>>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is
>>>>Hell?"  Come early and listen to our choir practice.
>>>>>---------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition
>>>>>of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
>>>>>---------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
>>>>>recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
>>>>>---------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>Please place your donation in the envelope along with the
>>>>>deceased person you want remembered.
>>>>>---------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>The church will host an evening of fine dining, super
>>>>>entertainment and gracious hostility.
>>>---------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to
>>>>>follow.
>>>>>---------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
>>>>>They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
>>>>>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park
>>>>>across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
>>>>>---------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All
>>>>>ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is
>>>>>done.
>>>>>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation

>>>>>would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next
>>>>>Sunday.
>>>>>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please
>>>>>use the back door.
>>>>>---------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in
>>>>>the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend
>>>>>this tragedy.
>>>>>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian
>>>>>Church.  Please use large double door at the side entrance.
>>>>>----------------------------------------------------------------------

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Thanks to Kris for designing my blog.  I will be working hard the next few nights to get all the categories filled.  I am so excited!  Please come back and visit often.

Blessings to all! 

Stacy

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