That there may still be folks checking her and using the wrong address below to try and find me.  so here you go:

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www.teambettendorf.com

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that should always work from now on.

I’m moving.  We have been planning this for some time and finally got on the ball to do it.  I will be double posting here and there for a couple weeks until everyone has a chance to bookmark/add me to their bloglines.  I will disable comments and encourage you to click to my new home to post your comments.  I am excited about this change because my new blog offers so many more options for searching and categorizing.  I’ll write up a little tour of my new abode in my next post.

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Another change I will be making is that I will be responding to comments in the comment section.  So look for answers there.

Soft Shoes and Diapers

I’m a little obsessed with making clothes for Jodi.  So when I came across these cute soft shoes I knew that Jodi would need a pair or ten.  I realize I may find myself in a mad rush between Hannukah and mid January making all the wonderful things I have in store for Jodi.  But what else would I do with all those nesting instincts?  Clean? Nah. 

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Here are 7 of the nine new diapers I just made for Donut.  I used THIS pattern and am pretty pleased with it.  The only thing I changed is I made the elastic longer on the legs and the soaker part is not as wide.  In the future I will make the tabs longer so I only need one pin.

SPAM!!

I want to alert everyone to a spammer that has visited my blog and has now solicited me and Jeff for money.  The letter read like this:

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We are located in Charlotte, NC.   Could you help us?  My sister is adopting Bin.  He is from China and is deaf.  He is 10 years old.  He speaks through sign language.  We have been having fundraiser after fundraiser and have raised $843.00 so far.  Our goal is $2,000 and we are asking for $1 from every person who sees our site.  Can you look at our website set up for Bin?  It tells about him and my sister’s family (that is adopting him).  This makes their 7th child (4th adopted).   My sister has no idea we have been doing this – we are telling her on Christmas day and presenting her with a final check!

Can you help us?  Please just look at the site.

(I’ve not included the site)

Thank you!!

Traci

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Just in case this person has contacted anyone on my friend’s list I want you to know I am in no way affiliated with this person and indeed I find it quite tacky to solicit money from complete strangers about real or imagined financial needs.

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No matter how sympathetic you think I might be to your cause please do not solicit me through e-mail or blog comment to support your cause.  I won’t do it.  We have charities we give to already and we always thoroughly research before we hand out money to any yahoo that asks for it.   

Why do I bother?

I had one of those “What am I doing here?” moments yesterday.  If your children don’t have blogs or structured writing assignments everyday then you just can’t understand the work that it involves.  John wanted to type up a simple post about his visit to the orthodontist.  By the time he had gotten 3 sentences on the page I was about ready to revoke his blogging privileges.  But it really wasn’t his fault so I bit my tongue and persevered.  This is all part of his brain injury due to prenatal alcohol exposure….FAS again. 

It all started when he wanted to spell orthodontist.  The rule is my little bloggers must type their entries in Word first and try to use spell check to correct spelling errors.  John had no idea where to even begin.  So he comes to me for the correct spelling.  Now we experience one of the other problems with drug and alcohol exposure.  John can only remember a series of two numbers or letters.  On a good day he can remember 3.  So if I were to spell the word SOCKS he’d remember SO and maybe C.  The good news is we have devised a system to help him be successful.  John knows that if he is going to ask me to spell something for him he needs to bring a paper with him to write it down.  This saves my frustration of him coming back 20 times and me spelling something 40-60 times because I have to repeat myself 2-3 times before he commits it to his short term memory and can run back to his paper.

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Can we compare and contrast for a second?  The only reason I do this is because we can’t measure abnormal learning patterns unless we compare them to typical learning patterns.  My Junie is 7 years old.  The other day Jeff rattled off our zip code in normal conversation.  As soon as he put a period on his sentence Junie rattled off the number, “What is 65721?”  Now I am not saying that she still remembers the number today but her short term memory works just fine and she was capable of remembering a series of 5 numbers for a couple minutes. 

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Imagine what this looks like in a school setting.  How much rote memorization goes into learning?  What about something as simple as mastering your ABCs?  Add the difficulty of not understanding rhyming or rhythm or cadence and you’ve got a child that can’t even use songs for memorization.  And phonics?  26 letters and many more sounds…some letters have more than one sound…ugh.  And if your FAS child knew the phonics rules yesterday there is no guarantee they will know they tomorrow or next month.  Even if you practice practice practice.  Someday they may wake up and the information is just gone…for a day or a week.  Who knows.

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Back to my story: John had difficulty reading my writing.  He could not determine whether the N was an M or an N.  Sure, anyone else could have sounded out orthodontist and realized there was no M sound but John either didn’t consider that or was unable.  Then he thought the second O was a U.  Seriously, by the time you are 11 years old you should be able to read normal handwriting without it having it look like a type set font.  But that is neither here nor there because John CAN’T.  My expectations are irrelevant.

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Then John wanted to type Oct. 29^th because that is the day he visited the orthodontist.  But he got it all typed up, I told him he could use the abbreviated version of October, and 2 minutes later he asked me again if he could use Oct. instead of October.  Then he asked if he should remove the period from Oct.  I had already explained that it has a period.  Then I had the brilliant idea to try to educate him as to the purpose of the period in Oct.  I started by asking if he knew WHY we put a period on Oct.  He didn’t.  I tried to draw a parallel, “You know the words Doctor and Mister.  What are two ways you can write those words?”  Kari, are you laughing yet?  Then it turned out that he could not remember how to spell either doctor or mister.  He tried miter, mitr and finally mistr which I deemed close enough and I gave him the answer.  Ok, now that we have determined how to spell mister and doctor (gave him that one too) we are back to the original problem.  How to abbreviate them.  John has learned this.  We do have a formal grammar program.  I eventually gave him the answers.  I am trying to get back to where we started with October, right???  Even with the answers for mister and doctor John had trouble transferring that answer to October.  He understood there were two ways to write the words but not the purpose of the period.  Not that the period showed that the word is abbreviated.  He didn’t understand that there ALWAYS will need to be a period when you are writing Oct. for October.  It is not optional. 

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The end of the story is that I overwhelmed John.  I was so quick to recognize with the orthodontist when he chose to use too many analogies, too many words and it was all lost on John. I managed to put myself in the same category as the orthodontist.  I just wasted my time basically.  Most of what I said was for naught.  What was the point?  I was too close to the situation to see what I was doing.  John got a little weepy and I quickly called it all off and just fed him the answer so we could move on.  Avert catastrophe. 

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You know what, that is not the true end of the story.  The real end is that I was able to learn something from this experience.  That is one more notch in my belt in my understanding of my kids and John in particular.  Next time I’ll approach the situation a little differently.  Each time something like this happens I get better at being the mom of “damaged” kids.

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John?  He is fabulous in many many ways.

Tarah’s comment made me laugh and then wonder….Tarah said “Loved the anecdote about Africa! That so could have happened in our house. I had an eye-opener at AWANA a week or so ago. I was subbing for the 3-5th grade girls handbook time. They were all unchurched, public school kids...and honestly, they probably have bigger problems in their life than a lack of geography knowledge! But, we were supposed to look at a globe and find 5 cities around the world. I thought, "Oh, we don't need a globe...we can think of 5". I guess hsing has made my expectations a little unrealistic. Those 8 girls couldn't think of ONE city outside of our country. Not even with hints (like in France, Eiffel tower or where the queen lives in England). Not even in Canada. One girl said China. (sorry, that's a country) One girl said New York. (sorry, that one's in the USA) One girl finally after much deliberation came up with Hong Kong. Yay! We got one. :) After I'd basically told them 4 cities around the world, I asked about South America....could they think of anything in South America. "NEW ORLEANS!" one shouted. I guess that IS in Southern America. ;)

Makes you wonder, doesn't it?”

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So I asked my kids.

Jacob (10yo): Tokyo, Moscow, London

John (11yo): Jerusalem, Paris, Rome, (New England)

Jason (9yo): Rwanda, Bagdad, (Brazil, Norway)

Jessica (8yo): Kansas

Junie (7yo): Bethlehem, Hong Kong, (Russia, China, Africa, New Zealand, Canada)

Jill (4yo): Hong Kong

I’m pretty impressed that Junie got so many countries and Jill got one!!  They are familiar with Hong Kong because of the movie Daddy Daycare.  I guess secular TV is good for something???

Then Jenna came in and I made the other kids stop so she could try.

 Jenna: Hamburg, Sidney, Moscow, Paris, Rome, Prince Edward Island (That’s a province not a city right?), Chihuahua, Menfe (Which is in Egypt I am told), New Brunswick, Ontario, Nova Scotia??

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Later that night she said that as soon as I stopped writing them down she remembered a bunch more but being put on the spot like that she couldn’t think of any and she rattled off 6 more.  I’m impressed.  Does it scare anyone else that their 10 and 12yo are smarter than they are?

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I’m having a party.  Yes I am.  I am making lists and ordering stuff and it should be a blast.  We were supposed to have a Valentine’s Party in AZ on the 14^th but Jill was diagnosed the 7^th instead.  I’m so excited as we plan all the fun and goodies.  Details to follow.

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Things are getting closer to being unpacked and organized.  We still have boxes and boxes but I am finding more appropriate places to store them than in the main living area downstairs.

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I sewed a very little bit.  My helpers continued to organize fabric, games and books.  After a yummy lunch of burritos the kids watched Swiss Family Robinson while I schooled the littles and then hung out on the computer.  I took about 10 minutes to type up some questions for the kids to answer after watching their movie.  They’ll be learning some geography (where was the Robinson family headed?), literature definitions (protagonist, antagonist), biology (tell me about the animals on the island), history(explain to me why the pirates were afraid of the flag) and physics (draw a simple pulley system).  The kids don’t know about the worksheet yet but I really think they’ll like it.  They always JUMP up if I am reading something and I say “Where is Zimbabwe anyway?”  It’s a mad dash to the map to find out.  Oh oh, and Jeff has said we can go to the library!!!  So I’ll be picking up more books to enhance the learning further.  I’ll also grab books about Rome and Egypt as that is what we are studying with Sonlight.

Jenna with her worksheet.  We worked on these for several minutes until Jeff came in and started crabbing at us.

The kids requested a big breakfast this morning which does not mean more food total but rather a variety of food.  It all started after our trip to California when we ate at a local Denny’s numerous times.  When you order at Denny’s you get the pancakes and the bacon and the eggs and sausage.  So when we got home I heard “Can we have a Denny’s breakfast?”  Now it’s just turned into a BIG breakfast.  This morning I made soaked pancakes (soak your grains), sunny side up eggs (uncooked yolks are healthier), home made yogurt and a glass of raw milk.  The kids LOVED it.  They really gobbled down that yogurt.  At first they were a little put off because it had a tangier flavor but they all loved it after several bites.  Ya, that’s what yogurt is supposed to taste like!!  I added stevia and vanilla to it.  When oh when will we have our own cow and goat??  I had a bean burrito because I’ve been craving beans. 

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I started new beans to soak.  They are gorgeous and I even took a picture that I plan to post on my cook along blog today.  How long do you think 12 cups of dry beans will last us?  I had been making 6 then I upped it to 8 but the beans are gone as soon as I bring them in the house (roaster oven is in the garage).  I need these 12 cups to last at least 24 hours so I can cook some chicken stock!!

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I got the SCOBY that Chasity (fixed link)sent me today.  Jeff was elated and immediately ran to the store to get tea bags.  Our Kombucha Tea is now safely in the pantry doing it’s thing.  Have ya’ll seen the great Kombucha tutorial Chasity put together?  Looks so yummy!!

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I finished the soaker….ummmm…it fits Donut.  So I guess I’ll make a tiny pair of longies for Jodi or try another pattern I have.  They would be so cute matching wouldn’t they?  These are his favorite now. 

These next couple months are going to be so difficult.  I have all these Hannukah presents to make and I can’t show anyone!!  Family, friends and even my kids read this blog!!  How will I ever share all the cool stuff??  Thankfully I’ll have to be sewing during daylight hours as well because Jessica is about to have to join a nudist camp she has outgrown all her clothes.  She has asked me several times in the last week to make her more skirts.  She only has one right now.  Sheesh…kids and growing.  I keep telling them to stop but they just don’t listen.

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It looks like the animals escaped the zoo and now the caretakers are off on another adventure.

Jeff is making adjustments in order to film the intro to the sewing tutorial.  There Lina is wearing the dress I made in the video. 

And here is the next project I am working on.  I won't be able to show you the project until after Hannukah/Christmas/ThatHolidayInDecember but now you know it has cables and I have mastered them.  They look so much better when they are not overexposed in a dark room. :)

Q&A

Ok I hear ya on the natural laundry soap.  Jeff found something about Baking Soda (not powder this time Kristy) and Borax in the dishwasher and then Darlene mentioned something similar as well.  I think we will start there and see how that works.

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Stacey, Jeff came in “Did you see what your friend said about my chin?  It’s one thing for you to mention it but for your commenters to confirm it.  Geesh, how rude.  Now I need some M&Ms.”  He seemed better after snarfing some chocolate.  As a side note he told me today that there ARE exercises you can do to tone your under chin area.  He told me in detail how to move and flex in effort to fix the problem.  When he was done I stared at him and said “What is the purpose of having this knowledge?”  He looked back at me, “I dunno.”

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Stefanie, Jeff offered to lift me.  I declined.  John and Jenna were also smart enough to stay on the sidelines.

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Darlene, you can e-mail anytime but I can’t guarantee I’ll have answers. J

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Tarah, recipe for trout dinner to follow on cook along blog.

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Ginger, you had better be nice to me.  I know where you blog.  Your question regarding birth order was an interesting one.  We have 3 sibling groups so I guess we have 3 first borns and 3 babies then a bunch of middles!!  Sorta.

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Jazzy, I have to ask.  What DID Grandma think the moon was made of?

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Debbie, I’d love to teach you how to knit.  Do you like to sit on the floor with 14 children running amuck when you learn?  If so you are welcome over anytime.  Bring your needles!

Oh ya, I wanna play.  This is the soaker I am working on for my little Jodi.  I really don't think it will fit a newborn so I'll probably be forced to make another...shucks! ;) I bought the pattern from Little Turtle Knits and have been pretty pleased with it.  The customer service is not what the site owner claims it is but thankfully I haven't had any problems that have held me back completely.  Knitting is very forgiving i am finding.  Now to make a cutie flowery dress for Jodi to match them.

Thanks Shereen!!

This morning right after breakfast one of the kids said out loud “Egypt is in Africa right?” as he was searching the map.  Immediately Jeff spouts off “Egypt is NOT in Africa.”  I looked up from my knitting to see if Jeff was kidding.  He wasn’t.  Knit, knit, knit.  “Yes Dad, Egypt IS in Africa.” And Jenna jumps up from the floor to head over and prove Jeff wrong.  Now Jeff is heading toward the map.  By the time everyone arrived Egypt had been found and Jeff was still trying to save face by saying “I thought you meant Africa the country.” Knit, knit, knit.  “There is no Africa the country!!  Africa is a continent.”  Knit, knit, knit.  I’m so glad we homeschool.  How else would Jeff and I ever learn anything?

 Jeff has decided, after seeing pictures of himself on my blog, that he should start an exercise routine.  Weight lifting was the order for the day.

 Look up to hide the double chin.

Jason with his home made suspenders.  We don't want to appear to be "outsiders".

Then Jacob.

But sometimes Dad underestimates how tall you are and cracks your head on the ceiling.

But there is no blood.  You'll be fine.

Try again.  Different lift system.

Look I can balance on Dad's head!!  They thought they were going to become a circus act.

Check to see if that double chin is getting toned with all this lifting.

The more timid got a different kind of lift.

Even the bald girls got a turn.

One person wanted to be lifted the adventurous way but got cold feet and needed a pep talk.

Her fears were realized when she reached the apex.

But it was nothing a couple years of therapy won't fix.  (As soon as I snapped the picture she smiled.  I guess she'll survive.)

Then back to the safe stuff.

The littlest of the littles got a bonus ride.

And I have to be a total nerd and share a picture of my delicious dinner last night.  Jeff made this.  It is steel head trout, cabbage and red rice (which is amazing and you should try).  All of you fat people in France need not fret.  I *did* have a second plate.  I tell you what, I am still salivating over this meal.  Thanks for the fabulous and healthy meal Jeff!!

As I looked around to see how everyone else liked the meal I found Jenna like this.  Yep, that's The Jacket.  Hmmmmm.

I thought this was a funny situation.  Attack of the killer cat.

And Jacob doing the "I'm going to smoosh you in this clippy" trick.

Jonah picture boy.

Jonah box boy.

Q&A

Bree-Anne, we are planning to start building ASAP.  Just a little place at first (2400 sq ft, Dana, this can be your house when you visit) and then move on to the big house after that.  Logistics of getting people in to do work and deciding where to build is what we are dealing with today.

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Ali, you are welcome to come visit anytime.  Give me 24 hours notice. J

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Christy, Of course I know who you are. The crazy one with the bed and breakfast (I say crazy because owning a B&B sounds like no fun!!) that you finally crawled out from under.  Will you be coming through MO on your way to NC?  And I had not head of online herbalist courses but you have piqued my interest.

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Onto the soap.  We have the Mrs. Meyers but I have not found that it works any better than any other soap or that it smells for a longer period of time.  And the Purex says it is all natural.  Here is the bottle. 

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The ingredients.  Tell me, is there a secret ingredient in there like when they say "natural flavorings" in food and it's really MSG?

I am very interested in alternatives that don’t cost an arm and leg.  I was going to make my own but that has not been a priority obviously because I have not done it.  Let me know what you all know. J  And our body soap was handmade by Faith Acre Farms with all natural ingredients. We use Jason shampoo and Green Planet and Mrs. Meyers dish soap. J  The one thing we have not found is natural dish washer detergent that is not a fortune.  You’d think there is platinum in there or something.

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Ashley, I wear Hanes boxer briefs  And you have not lived until you’ve tried these.

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Ginger, ginger, ginger, read the comments ABOVE the pics.  I clearly stated that I had just been sitting there next to the glasses cutting out diapers.  One cup is water and the other is that tea.  I’m expected to drink a quart of that each day. Blech.  Oh, and it did make me nervous having them there even when I was sitting but not as nervous as getting up off the floor multiple times to get a drink.

Debbie, can we blame it on the weather again that I got little done?  On the one hand I didn’t get much accomplished work wise but on the other hand I spent some great time hanging out with the kids.  Jillian was especially animated today.  She has been becoming more active over the past week and today she RAN everywhere and waved her hands around like an Italian when she spoke.  The girl is all over the place.  Is it no wonder she isn’t gaining weight?  She is only holding steady at this point.  But how can I complain?  This is the happiest I’ve seen her since everything went down in February.  I tried to videotape her today so you all could enjoy the Jillie fest but she said “Mooooommm, stop taping me.” And ran down the hallway until I put the camera away.   We have cut back on the B vitamins because she was having horrible niacin flushes.  I am pleased to see that she is maxing out on that.

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It was COLD last night…or so I am told.  I guess it only got up to 21 degrees. I am not even sure what that means entirely.  That is below freezing so I guess Jeff would have allowed me to say “It’s freezing out!”  He never allowed me to say that in Surprise because it was never technically freezing.  Yesterday the high was 47 and it was actually nice.  We didn’t realize how cold it was until we checked before bed.  Who knew cold temperatures could be so pleasant.  But today it was back up in the 60s.  Go figure.  

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There was somehting called frost on the ground this morning.  Ok, just kidding, I DO know what frost is.  I saw it in pictures once.  We were forced to go out and ooh and aah over it.

It was interesting how the frost melted in the sunny parts but even a spindly little tree cast enough shade to keep it from melting.

It was very cool with it's fuzzy look all over the plants.

In celebration of the cold snap my clothes from Old Navy arrived.  I was forced to order maternity shirts online because the closest Old Navy with a maternity section is in Lafayette, AR.  Welcome to the big city.  Look what I got!!  Notice how spacious and log it is.  It covers the BELLY!!  No more cold bellies!!  I’m elated and Jodi is pleased as well.  I’m her personal representative so I can speak for her.  I know she couldn’t be anything other than happy.  The sweat pants make the outfit.

I did get one diaper sewn (9 cut out) but it was quickly dirtied and placed in the laundry.  Speaking of laundry, here are my gentle cycle clothes.  About a year ago I realized that the home made clothes were wearing and fading so much quicker than the store bought clothes.  But that was awful because I prefer to see the kids in the cute home made clothes and most of the time they prefer them too because they fit better.  I realized that the problem was the dryer so I started hanging up anything that was handmade or especially precious (like my boxer brief underwear).  Here are my hanging clothes.  It makes me feel warm and fuzzy each time I walk down the hall past our laundry nook.  Eventually I will have a HUGE mudroom/laundryroom with indoor clothes line and small wood stove.  I will happily hangout all the clothes and save on the wear and tear of the dryer AND the sun rot (although sun rot may not exist in MO??)   

The little stray kitty that takes part in the buffet for felines on our front porch everyday is pregnant.  Ugh.  Might we be the owners of a litter of kittens soon?

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My favorite husband posted pictures of the kids on his blog today.  I don’t know what possessed him to pay attention to his neglected blog.  Here is something else he made late last night. 

I love the Traditional Medicinals Throat Coat tea.  In fact, we discovered it when we were here in Branson a year ago and I had some scratchy throat bug.  That stuff is great and yes, safe in pregnancy.  So I was going through two bags a day (remember the Red Raspberry Leaf complaint?) and we can’t find it on sale like we could all the time in AZ.  Look what Jeff made!!  He took the ingredient list to Mama Jeans and acquired the items he needed.  He mixed them all up in a large jar and we tried it out last night.  YUMMY!!!  And SO economical!!  I know someone is going to ask so I’ll list the ingredients.

Equal parts:

Licorice Root

Cinnamon

Slippery Elm

Marshmallow Root

Wild Cherry Bark

Sweet Orange Peel

It also calls for something called Bitter Fennel Fruit that we could not find but I can’t taste the difference without it.  This is the jar that we made and it cost maybe $10.  The boxes of tea have 16 bags (or less than an ounce of tea total) and cost $5 but Jeff bought at least 2 oz of each ingredient and spent $10.  I think this may be more fun than having a tea drawer.  Making our own loose tea blends.  I can imagine building a school lesson around this….hmmmm.  And Christmas/Hannukah presents, oh yeah, let the fun begin!!

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Here are Jill and Jessica playing the game called “Snuggle Up”.  It involves pulling numerous blankets out and bundling up.  Ok, ok, we lived in the desert!  This whole bundling up thing is a novelty to us!!  You can see my diaper cutting project in the foreground and the computer sitting in it’s place by The Chair.  Oh and there is the tea.  I got half way through…whew.

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Jason is taking pictures of his knifty knitter scarf to put on his blog.

Jillian was resting her head on the little bottle that we mix the supplements in and it left an impression on her head of “adJohnson” (MeadJohnson) backward.  Then Jeff and I tried it but I didn't take pictures.

I also want to mention that I see someone at PCH has been visiting us here.  I think it is the nice lady on the PICU.  I want to say hi and we miss your smiling face. J

Q&A

Emily, I know, I know, I brought all the drama on myself…not to say that I created the drama but I did encourage it to continue by responding.  And it was fun.  J  But all good things must come to an end and really I have other things to pursue right now.   Like sewing.  In the meantime I have banned 3 people from commenting.  I knew I could do that and have done it in the past.  Isn’t that a convenient feature? ;)

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Gretchen, I did get your e-mail and I am glad you enjoyed the movie. Thanks for being so patient with me. J

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Oh Raiah/Sarah that certainly is a pout you see!!  He was anti camera that day.  Even with all the threatening we did he would not smile.  I think that is why John is smirking because Jeff and I were joking and using the typical parenting lines on Jonah “Are you going to need a spanking?  You better smile!” and “Act happy or I’ll spank you silly.”  And I especially thought of your kids today Sarah when Jillie was so active.  I would have loved to get some video of her so they could be really excited.

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My reply: Lina was named Mahlina by her birth mother and when she was adopted we changed it to Jolina.  A lot of the kids call her Jolina but I always call her Lina.  Her bio mother also calls her Lina and I think I like that continuity for bio mom’s sake.  Jillian goes by Jill but I call her Dolly.  When Jill and Lina were just tiny they went by Dolly and Baby.  And of course Jonah is called Donut by everyone.  June is Junie Bug and the twins had a nickname that went with their old names but doesn’t work with the new names. J  We changed ALL the adopted kids names to J names.  John was the only one that balked at the idea because he was named after his bio father.  We convinced him that he would regret it if he didn’t change his name.  His name was Juan (but was called Alex by his siblings) so it was an easy transition to John.  Every kid that has ever come to our house has talked about what J name they would have if they stayed with us.  They like the new name/new life connection.  Hey, I’m the only K in my house.  We can hang out together and lament our sad lives. ;)

Ginger, I feel strongly about many things…politics is not one of them. ;)  I blog here because this is where I started.  I’ll stay here and just ban at will.  Hoorah for IP tracking!!

Ok, here’s the deal.  I wish HSB had a comment moderation feature.  Then I could only post the comments form people that agree with me and it would appear that everyone loves me.  I don’t care if people really do love me but I figure the dissenters could have the courtesy to keep their opinions to themselves.  Especially after I have already said I don’t care about their opinion of me.  As I tell my kids to ask rude kids at the park I’ll ask some of my readers “Didn’t your mother teach you any manners?”

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And quite honestly if you want to approach me in public you should expect that I will respond in public.  If I were to find myself in these conversations IRL I’d walk away.  But if someone invites themselves into my livingroom and proceeds to call me on my beliefs I have one of two options.  I can gently escort them to the door or I can assume that they enjoy a good debate like me. 

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I believe we should have an answer for what we believe…that includes EVERYTHING we believe.  I have answers and that offends some people.  I don’t know where people get the idea that it is my job to beg and cajole others to agree with me.  I state my opinions, I give references and the people can decide if they agree or not.

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How’s about this – if I read a comment that sounds snarky or questioning or something that may turn into a debate that I want no part in I’ll just delete it ok?  Then no one (save the commenter, I suppose) will be offended by my replies and everyone will think that all my commenters have good manners.  I’ll help the rude people save face. No problem, I’m happy to help.

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Back to life:

Today Jacob and Josiah were pretending to have tea party and everything is going fine until Josiah says “And then someone came in with a pocket knife in his pocket and gun and his name was John Boof.”  Can you tell we learned about Lincoln not too long ago?

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I got almost nothing done today.  Well actually I got quite a bit done but it was one of those days that feels like organized chaos and I just feel like I did the minimum.  I don’t like that feeling.  I want to excel each and every day.  Who knew I was so competitive!!

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I finally let the kids feel Jodi moving.  I had put it off logn enough in an effort to postpone the constant tummy rubbing that will now occur here.  But those that got a turn before Jodi went back to sleep giggled with delight.

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I handed the little camera to the kids tonight.  Jason and Junie went crazy with the pictures.  Expect to see those on Jason’s blog soon.  Doncha just love the freedom of digital photography?

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Tomorrow I vow to get a lot done including shooting the very end of that sewing tutorial.  I had to wash the little dress I made so we could do a nice end piece and lead in for the video.  That dress will be dry by tomorrow. J  Jeff will edit the video and I hope to have it uploaded by Friday.  Shall I make a tentative to do list? 

School of course

Sourdough bread (I’ll try again Megan)

Sew some more dipes

Knit

Fold material properly

Move boxes into “guest room”

New grocery list

Cook beans

I think that’ll do it for now.  We will see how much I get done.  Lists are so motivating!!

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Here are two pictures from our visit to the property the other day.  Isn’t it still beautiful even when it is bare?  The kids had a blast jumping in piles of leaves and pretending to be Civil War soldiers fighting through the forest.

Who are these good looking kids?  One time I sent a picture of all my kids (think I had 8 at the time) to an e-friend/foster mom in NJ.  Her reply was “How do you get such cute kids?  Don’t they have ugly kids in Arizona?”  I said “We send the ugly ones back.”  Ok, not so true but really they are a handsome bunch, are they not?

The last post on the daycare debate:

Camilla said it with more words than I would have. There, now y’all can go get upset with her. http://homeschoolblogger.com/camillaanderson/417415/

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And Cindy covered pretty well how I feel about dissenters. 

http://thebodiebunch.blogspot.com/2007/11/my-gratitude.html

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Jazzy also said it much better than me.  In case you missed it.

I guess I don't understand the need to pretend that children aren't affected by being left in daycare. I am not saying they have RAD, but they are affected and not in a way that is positive.

My oldest went to Mother's Day Out for 3 years and he was absolutely negatively affected by it and that was only for 2 days a week, 6 hours per day. I can't imagine having him there 5 days per week.

Jen, it sounds like you are being a GREAT mom to your children, but it seems like your remarks that daycare have had no affect on them are arising from defensiveness.

My dad left my mom when she was pregnant. In order to support us with no government assistance, I was in daycare from the time I was 6 weeks old until 5th grade when I became a latch key kid.

Was she a great mom - absolutely! Was I negatively affected by daycare - absolutely! My mom is thrilled that I am homeschooling her grandkids. Even as a mom who has walked in your shoes, she feels the BEST place for a child is in the home.

As for working women in the Bible, I have not seen any evidence that these children were in institutionalized day care. Those who are placing their children daycare (for whatever reason) need to at least be honest about its negative effects. I understand the need (or desire) to place a child in day care.

I don't understand the need to pretend that a child being placed in a group setting and cared for by strangers is just as good as a child being cared for by parents in a loving home. It's not.

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Jen said, “Just for reference, I wasn't comparing homeschooled kids to daycare kids... I was saying that there ARE bad homeschool parents out there just like there ARE bad daycare parents out there.”

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My reply: Yes, you did compare the two.  You said “There are very bad parents who homeschool as well... but would it be fair of me to make a judgement about the effect those bad parents have on their children as a homeschooling problem as a whole?”  That, Jen, is comparing what I said about daycares to homeschoolers.  Perhaps I should have responded to you in this way “No Jen, it would not be a fair ‘judgment’ because the two can not be compared.  You are talking apples and oranges.  One has statistically been shown as a whole to be detrimental and the other has statistically shown as a whole to be beneficial.  Are there exceptions to the general rule?  Yes.”

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Jen said, “And I am 100 percent sure I could find studies out there about bad homeschool parents out there if I researched but it doesn't matter. Because you are missing my point.”

My reply: I would welcome and enjoy ANY studies you could find that incriminated homeschooling *as a whole*.  That would be an accurate way to compare and contrast daycare to homeschooling if that is the parallel you choose to draw.  And Jen, you are missing my point.  I want the BEST for my kids.  That does not include daycare and it DOES include homeschooling because, obviously I feel it is best. And many independent studies agree.

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Jen said, “My point is that I love my kids EVERY SINGLE bit as much as you do... regardless of the fact that they went to daycare. That is where I take issue. You have never walked a day in my shoes... and just like when you get upset when people criticize you for your parenting style and how you raise your kids, it upsets me when you do the same to me. “

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Jen, can you please quote where I said that daycare parents or you specifically don’t LOVE your children as much as I do?  I’ve read back and I just don’t see where I said that.  If you want me to make such a blanket statement I will make it here.  You, Jen, do not have IMO the best situation for your children.  That is not saying you hold any fault in the situation, just that IMO daycare and public school are not the best for ANY children.  And I DON’T “get upset” when people criticize my parenting style.  I just assume they are stupid.  And I never criticized your parenting directly.  Honestly Jen, I don’t even know you.  How could I?

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Jen said, “Yes, I COULD have done daycare and sold clothes on ebay... but if you would have asked me, you would have found out that I DID do daycare in my home. It just didn't work. I had people not paying, not bringing their kids on a regular schedule so that I could get paid... people who couldn't afford to pay me so they fell far behind. Therefore, it got to the point that I couldn't afford to feed my own kids and had to rely on my parents for things like diapers and food for a few months until I could get on my feet.”

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My reply: I never questioned what your situation was and why you could not do the things I proposed that *I* would do.  I know *my* situation and I know my options.  I know a lot of women choose not to exercise their options and hence do not put their children first.  If you feel you have done everything possible to do the best for your kids then so be it.  I don’t know you well enough to say otherwise.

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Jen, I commend you for finding a better daycare solution for your youngest son.  I still firmly believe that home, when possible, would have been a better option for him.  I know you feel that way too so I am not sure why we are having this conversation.  You admit that you would RATHER stay home with them and you are home with them as much as possible.  Great!  Again, why are we here?

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Jen said, “That is why I take issue with the fact that you say that my kids have been affected... because maybe your bio kids have been affected by having so many siblings with problems... but then again, maybe not because you love them ALL and do everything you can to give them all the best life you can.”

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My reply: Interesting analogy.  May I say that I am positive my kids have been affected by having more siblings, having siblings that are delayed, having darker siblings than they.  May I also say that they were affected by our move to Missouri, the fact that we have 4 cats and we own property by a creek.  It really doesn’t matter how much I love them, does it?  Those things affect them everyday.  So now can you still say your kids were not changed by being in daycare/public school?  Everything changes us and plays into determining who we are and who we will be in the future.  The difference between my situation and yours is I feel that daycare has been and will continue to be detrimental to children while my situations are ones that I feel are beneficial to my children. 

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Jen said “I am really trying to be nice and civil but the tone of your response to me was very sarcastic and critical and it bothers me that you cannot even stop to think that someone else may have a different point of view than you.”

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My reply: I understand completely that you have a different point of view than I do.  Can you understand that I don’t have to agree with you?

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Jen said, “I am not judging you... I think you are a great mom. I would just ask for the same respect back from you. Just because I parent differently doesn't mean I am wrong or that my kids will suffer. I think your way is great.... I just think it isn't the ONLY way to be a great parent, but you seem to think that anyone who does anything differently from you is wrong and you have to treat them with a sort of contempt like they are below you.”

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My reply: Jen, I never said you are not a great parent.  As I already said I don’t know you.  You know FAR more about me than I know about you.  You obviously love your children and have very strong feelings about how you have provided for them.  You feel you have done your best so I am not sure why my opinion of daycare should bother you.  I am someone on the internet that has an opinion and I share it.  I did not attack you personally nor do I imagine I would ever do so to anyone on a public forum such as this.  I never said that people that do things differently than I are wrong.  I clearly have feelings about what is BEST in general and those are the things I choose to participate in.  Isn’t that what everyone does?   

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Jen said, “I can honestly say you hurt my feelings and I should feel like that because I KNOW I am a super mom and shouldn't let your comments hurt like they did.”

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My reply: I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.  That was certainly not my intention.  My daycare comments were never meant to be directed at you specifically and my further replies have been about answering your questions and comments.  I never meant to attack or accuse you.  If you have something going on that is making you sensitive to the opinions I spout here or if we just have different styles of communication and mine rubs you the wrong way feel free to take a break from reading here.  I’m sure that eventually the daycare conversation will dissipate just as the public school debate did.   

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Amysconfections, thank you for pointing out the very obvious.  Again I point my readers to Camilla Anderson’s blog entry.  People like the results of my parenting but they are unwilling to make the sacrifices.  They don’t even want us to make the sacrifices because it convicts them.  So now it appears that people don’t even want me to say that I believe daycare is harmful to children or homeschooling is best.  And Debbie can’t say that her sister made sacrifices that made her able to stay home with her kids.  I see how it is, we all must be tolerant of another’s views unless I disagree with you in which case you can tell me I am wrong.  When people yell “Oh you are judging me!  How intolerant!” I say “Who are you to judge me being intolerant?”  It goes both ways.  Don’t come to my blog to tell me I have to agree with you.  I don’t. 

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Emily said:

Katie,
what is your experience with the legs of the longies. I have been knitting afgans for years, nice and square. LOL! I bought the longies pattern and have done surprisingly well with the instructions up until starting the legs. I am finding it extremely difficult with such a small working area. Any suggestions?

Also, have you checked your local Library for their prices on fines? We moved from AZ to Indiana and our local system here does not have late fees!! In Ohio, there was a maximum $5.00 fee, unles a book was lost.

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My reply: Emily, yikes…I am a relatively new knitter myself and don’t think I am qualified to explain something to you. LOL  If you bought your pattern through Little Turtle Knits her website says that she is available via phone for questions.

I think the library topic has been banned in my home.  I dare not bring it up again.  Instead I make wishlists on Amazon and stalk the local thrift stores. J

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Barb, thanks for the verses but I don’t see any support for daycare there.  Those women work.  I agree with that.

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Robin, that is an interesting idea to have a separate place to keep track of Jillian’s stuff but I really can’t.  Besides, what we do daily is what she is doing.  I can’t imagine trying to segregate in my mind her info from the rest of the family.  Not enough brain cells left after being pregnant 5 times maybe? ;)  If you have specific questions because I somehow blitzed filling you guys in please ask.  I’m more than happy to share in an effort to give other people hope.

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Linda,  Thanks for the great comment.

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Ashley said: Also, you have inspired me to knit some longies for my little girly. Our first girl after three boys, I can hardly believe it. She is coming in March. Are you buying your wool online, or locally? I'm not really sure what kind to get, any suggestions?

Ashley aka Apronmama
http://femininepursuits.blogspot.com

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My reply: I bought the pink and purple wool at a local yarn shop and the green was purchased at 100purewool.  I definitely prefer the purewool and will likely get my stuff there from now on.

And the pattern is HERE (www.littleturtleknits.com)

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Ok Megan, I’m really psyched about the whole sourdough thing now.  You’ve given me lots of tips.  I think tomorrow I’ll give it another go.

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Chasity, I was banned from the library by Jeff for excessive late fees…on many occasions.  The fees were so high I am embarrassed to admit what they were. ;)

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Nicole, I’m not sure who “them” are and what “our side” is.  I have asked several people and no one can come to a consensus.  You are right in leaving if that is how you feel God is leading you.  I see nothing unbiblical with being selective about your reading material if it offends you.  I do wonder what kind of Christian behavior you are exhibiting by chastising me in public instead of following the model in Matthew 18 of talking to a fellow believer privately.  Hmmm…it seems that some are looking at the speck in my eye while ignoring the plank in their own.

First the students sit down with a worksheet.  Just one at first.

Here the activity is that the kiddos close their eyes and I remove one item from the tray.  Then they open their eyes and determine which item is missing and color that one on their page. 

Then as they finish they join me at The Chair.  They sit on the floor and I read to them.  Today we read from A Treasury of Mother Goose Rhymes, Little Golden Book compilation book and Eric Carle's Animals. 

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Then one more worksheet.  Here they are following directions. Color the flower yellow.  Color the candle green.  They LOVE school.  That is ALL I do with them and that is all they can handle.  Today it took almost an hour and those boys (especially) were DONE.  During this time the big kids are working on their stuff right in the diningroom. 

I am finally getting some things organized.  These were my boxes of fabric (4) and boxes of games(3).

And after my helpers put stuff away.  How much nicer it looks.  I need to go back in and fold the fabric correctly but whew, I think they emptied 6 boxes.

This is what I did during our drive yesterday.  A new green soaker for Jodi.

And I finished these.  They are actually more purple than the camera captured.

This was something new I tried.  Making a diaper.   I like the dipe but can think of alterations I'll make for the next one.  Jonah loves the monkeys.  We are working on potty training but in the meantime Jonah refuses the disposable diapers.  Interesting.

And Jillian wanted to make a pillow "like the one Junie made" so we whipped up this little thing.

While we were unpacking fabric I found these.  I had them cut out but never sewed them in AZ.  I had 30 minutes before bed time so I whipped up some pajama bottoms for my favorite twins.  Josiah sat on the chair next to me and chatted while I sewed.

You can't go wrong with dinosaurs.  Ew, someone has dirty feet!!

And our new friend Mary has chosen to bless us with the clothes her family is done with.  Score for Jenna.  I think this like new denim jacket made her month.  Junie got one from Goodwill not too long ago and Jenna has been coveting that thing ever since. Don't be surprised if every picture you see of her for the next 6 months includes The Jacket.

And right before bedtime Jonah decided it was time to go out.  He got ready by putting on Jeff's socks and shoes.

Kari  reminds us that working side by side with our kids (especially FAS/RAD kids) is the BEST way to parent, teach and disciple our young ones.  Hoorah for involved parents!!

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And can I say that I LOVE LOVE LOVE cursive for delayed kids?  John really struggles with the fine motor skills and this is great practice for him. 

Q&A 

Linda, The article did not clarify what caused the son of the man to “turn bad”.  Might it be possible that he was adopted as well?  I’d say there is a strong probability.  Wherever the murderer was it was clearly paid for by the state so it is very likely that the facility housed a lot of current or previous state dependants.

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Christy, we will get some info for the lapbook at www.enchantedlearning.com and for other things I’ll just create a worksheet.

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Jen, thanks for your well thought out post.  I’m sorry you take issue with my opinion that most children in daycare will emerge from institutionalization with some far reaching effects.  That is what I have seen and that is what the studies show.  Here is a link: http://www.daycaresdontcare.org/News/News_2007/News_2007_page_1.htm and I am sure you can google to find the actual studies sited.  Don’t argue with me about it, they aren’t my studies.

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If you want to think that your kids are the exception to the rule and they have emerged unscathed I present to you that you have no proof or even any reason to consider that.  You don’t know what your children would have been like had you not been forced to place them in daycare.  The statistics and studies show that they HAVE been effected.

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I never said daycare parents don’t love their children.  What I said is they don’t place their children as a priority.  Your situation is a different one from the norm.  Perhaps you don’t interact with the parents of the children your children are surrounded by all day.  I KNOW for a fact that MOST daycare moms CHOOSE to place their children in daycare in their pursuit of money and possessions.  I’ve been on both sides, I know what I saw.  People, in general, are not willing to make sacrifices for their children. 

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Your analogy of comparing homeschool moms to daycare moms does not hold water.  Studies have shown that homeschooled kids do better academically and socially.  Let’s just stick to the facts.

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I’m sorry you don’t like my reference to Wikipedia.  Thankfully I am not in Jr. High and I consider it a valid source.  If you are unhappy with the information that was presented there regarding Harry Harlow feel free to do more research on whether the information is correct.  I personally know enough abut his work already that I knew the article was a decent one.

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Sahm, thanks for the heads up about TOPS.  I’ll definitely look there.

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DebH, Thanks so much for reminding us all that the kids would prefer our time over new clothes, nicer cars or special trips.  It is all about relationship.  And I appreciate that you shared your sister’s story.  I always said that I’d make clothes for ebay and do daycare myself before I abandoned my child in daycare. 

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AsLivingStones said “I'm just curious why those who don't homeschool or especially don't agree with it would bother to read a homeschool blog???”

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Even more interesting is the number of people that still feel it is their job to tell me how to think, what to post and who I can and can not “judge”.  They don’t know me and I have already said I don’t care about their opinion of me.   Some people are slow learners?

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Megan, you are scaring me with the sourdough “help” you offered. ;)  Thanks for your input. J

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Eliz, thank you for the kind words.  It would be nice to have friendly neighbors wouldn’t it?  Or is it just the banana bread you are after? ;)  I want to clarify that the only reason I “defend” myself (although it really does not feel that way) is one of several reasons. 1)I’m bored and like to string sentences together to relax before bed.  2) Silence implies agreement. 3) It’s fun to banter back and forth, especially with the ignorant.

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But there does come a time when I have enough.  Like I said before “When it becomes un-fun I’ll ban your IP.  No problem.”  I don’t get all worked up.  It’s a blog.  I have been chatting online for over 13 years.  I realize who is out there and they don’t bother me. J  I enjoy my time online.

Tarah, I’m putting that book on my wish list.  Remember I was banned from the library?  Thanks for the heads up.

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Susannah, thank you for pointing out that people don’t read my posts very carefully.  I was wondering if it was just me.  When people say “You can’t say…” I think “I didn’t say that.” So I go back and read and I didn’t.   I just pity them with their public school education with their poor comprehension skills.  LOL And before anyone gets all bent out of shape that was a jab at myself as well.  I went to public school.

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T. I can’t help you in depth with your daughter.  This is not a venue that is conducive to that.  I suggest you contact E.

Here you go…love this article for it’s honesty and THICK dose of reality.   

http://www.rockymountainnews.com/drmn/local/article/0,1299,DRMN_15_5721492,00.html

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Where do you think John would be right now if we had not taken him?  What about Jason?  Do you think there were people bus