I'm thinking that I might start posting regularly here.

People often ask how I got from point A (homeschool mom with a seemingly perfect family) to point B (single mom living in TX with 7 of her children).

The ride began about 2 years ago. It was Feb 6th. Not that the date matters, it doesn't really. But it is a single day that changed my life. I had found out that my oldest daughter was in love - with a married man. She was living in Minnesota at the time. I asked Steve if I could go see her. He knew I had been missing her so he agreed that I could go spend the night and see Ashley. We met half-way between us. For hours we drove around in the car talking about a lot of things. We talked about some issues I had been having. And we talked about her issues. We talked about how wrong it was to be with a married man. She agreed and asked for my help. We had a great time together...talking. Just as she was getting ready to get out of the car she said, "He makes me feel safe."

"Makes you feel safe?" I said in total bewilderment. "Why do you need to feel safe?"

Suddenly her countenance changed and tears began to fall from her eyes. She tried to blink them away. She stared out the window as if trying to wipe away a memory. My heart broke as I realized something horrible had happened to her, and I didn't even know about it. I began gently to ask questions. "What happened?"  "How old were you?" When I asked how old she was when it happened, her tears increased. She kept shaking her head, not wanting to tell me. Finally she said, "Dad kissed me in ways you don't kiss a daughter." That was the moment my world seemed to shatter.

I suddenly became a single mom overnight. Not only that, but I had a child who had been deeply wounded. And more who may have been. So many questions...so few answers. I often wondered how it was I didn't know. It was easy to beat myself up during the following weeks.

I knew without a doubt that God was there...holding me through the battle. I remember one time I was lying on the floor of my bedroom sobbing. I said, "God, I cannot do this!  This is too much for me to bear!" In his gentle whisper he said to me, "It was too much for Moses too, so I sent people to hold up his arms in the battle." I held onto that and allowed people to help me.

God seemed to be drawing me to Texas. I didn't know why. I knew a few people there, but I didn't have any relatives or real close friends. I found a friend via yahoo personals who lived in TX. I wasn't looking for romance, just needed people to help me. John and I became great friends. In fact to this day I consider him my best friend. It's neat how God works things though. When I thought John was helping me, I was actually help him. He had never met anyone who really walked with God. It was a foreign concept to him actually. He still wonders how I make it. Sometimes he just shakes his head at me when I'm dealing with kids, and work, and life, and frustrations, and questions about how to pay my rent. And he has seen time after time the way God continues to provide for us.

God provided the perfect job for me. I walked into a little homeschool bookstore called Creative Arts in Action. I knew nothing about the place at all. Little did I know the owner and some others were praying for God to bring the perfect person to come manage the store. And in I walked.

The day we moved to Texas, many people helped us. We were given meals by members of some church. We ended up going to that church the following Sunday. The pastor began talking about being in "agreement" in prayer. He stopped preaching for a time of ministry. I realized that I so desperately needed prayer. I went forward and many people circled around and  began praying for me. One of the men began to pray and said, "Lord, I commit to you to be an example of a godly man in the lives of Terri's children, and I commit to you that I will Hold up her arms!" Can you believe he said that? God spoke to me so powerfully through that prayer. I think I was up front for a good 30 minutes with many people praying for our situation. His warmth and care engulfed me.

I wish I could say the road has been easy, but I can't. And honestly I don't believe I would want to have an easy road if it meant I wasn't walking this closely with God. One of my kids told me just the other day she would never want life the way it used to be because she has drawn so close to the Lord now and she wouldn't trade that in for anything. Another one said her spiritual life was so strong now. Often it is the most growth that happens during the most pain.

I remember when I was an adolescent. My parents had gotten divorced, and I went to live with my mom in another city. I fell into some horrible traps, drugs, drinking, etc. I had two abortions before I was 16 years old. I was called into the principals office at school where he informed me that I was going to fail and risked being expelled because I had missed too many days of school. I could do the work, and got all A's on everything...but I missed too many days and they deducted those days from my grade. I, of course thought it was terribly unfair! But ..something in me snapped (in a good way). I made a decision that night to turn my life around. Two years later, I graduated from high school a year early and was even voted Most Likely to Succeed. It is through those trials, our lives grow exponentially. I'm convinced of that and that's why I believe I don't see with my natural eyes, the circumstances that surround me. Somehow God has enabled me to see beyond the moment. He has shown me that He is faithful, even if my natural eyes would not see that.

In April of last year my ex husband was fired from his job. There was a public outcry because he had to register as a sex offender. Of course the people who most suffer are the ones who were most hurt already.

It's been almost nine months since then. The interesting thing for me is that for 20 years I considered Steve to be my provider. Suddenly I had to solely rely on God for that provision. And I will tell you, the He comes through time and again. The Sunday after Steve lost his job I was at church talking with a friend who said to me, "You will have to be very careful now. You mustn't spend anything without accounting for it. You can't even buy a bag of chips at the gas station." Her advice was good. But it put a dark cloud over me.

Later that day I was driving somewhere alone. I was just talking with God as I'm in the habit of doing. I keep the little earpiece to my phone in my ear though, just in case someone things I'm looney driving around talking to myself. He whispered to me, "I will do exceedingly, abundantly, beyond all you can ask or think." I decided then and there that I was not to have a poverty mindset. That meant if I wanted to give to someone..I could. If the kids needed something, I could buy it. God constantly provided exceedingly abundantly beyond all I ever asked. ..or thought. It was ..and is...amazing!

When I look at the check book balance telling me that I have 34.54 and I know that I need to buy groceries, And I know that rent is 1400.00 and I know it costs about 1000.00 to feed the kids for a month I don't fear or worry. I remember one time before church telling God that I wanted to give to someone. But I didn't have anything to give. That morning at church someone walked up and handed me a "gift" from an anonymous person. God provided for me to give..and enough to pay my rent. Exceedingly...abundantly...beyond all we can ask or think....  That's the kind of God I serve!