I have a very dear friend who awoke Easter morning to the sounds of her husband yelling," FIRE FIRE FIRE everyone out of the house!". Within a minute all 19 children were out of the house in bare feet and jammies in 20 degree weather, watching their home burn. Fortunately it did not burn to the ground so there are some items that are salvagable.

The family is one of the greatest families I know. Amanda was one of my dearest friends in Iowa before we moved. In spite of having so many children to care for, she still found time to go to the movie with me, or go shopping at Wal Mart together.

It was pretty funny when we'd get our little group of mom's together and tell people how many children we had all together. Amanda increased our per mom average significantly.  ...I digressed....oh dear...

A lot of thoughts have run through my head since their fire. One is that I am not there to help with the daunting tasks that lie ahead for her. I was able to create a small website for them so people could check the website instead of calling for more information. The address is www.familyplushome.com .

Another thought was how we so often plan our lives. We look at life as if we are in charge of everything. I know all too well that in a blink of an eye, the life you thought you lived, is suddenly changed.

I've been pondering that whole idea of how to order our lives in such a way that we are working toward our lifes goals, but still keeping the right mindset of family and God. It's not always easy to juggle all of these things. But then when crisis hits, it's like suddenly you are forced into a focussed reality.

I'm in the midst right now of getting a business going from the ground up. This requires a tremendous amount of time from me. A couple of days ago, I awoke at 8:00 to someone calling to list their house (I will gladly get up early for THAT!). I basically worked the entire day...not quitting until 3:00 in the morning. The next day, the phone rang at 9:00 - a possible client calling - another reason to jump out of bed.

But what I find is that in those days, I look back and I think...but what "value" did I produce?

I'm wondering if some of my thoughts about family and time are so easily related to how much time I was with the children when I was a full-time, stay-at-home(most of the time) mom for so many years. It's difficult for me to see myself outside of that realm. But for now, unfortunately I am the sole provider for the kids and need to work long hours to get to a place where we can once again enjoy more time together.

Just as I was feeling sufficiently beaten by my own thoughts, I walked in the door last night around midnight to see all of the kids sitting around the kitchen table playing a card game together. They were laughing and joking with each other. It was great!

I had some things to do for a couple of hours, so I went to my room. Around 2:00 AM the kids began to come into my room for hugs before bed. Again the temptation to beat myself up came as Bryan - who is 9- came for his hug. I looked at the clock and thought, when the other kids were 9, they had to be in bed by 9:00 no matter what. Suddenly I realized that just because we don't do things like we used to do, we are still "family." For my 9 year old to be up playing cards with his older siblings was a valuable thing to me.

Around 3:00, I was getting ready to go to sleep for the night when Christi came in my room. I invited her to come in and talk for a bit. She's been struggling with some big issues lately. I loved when she said, "You're so smart Mom!" At 3:45 AM she left my room with her parting words being, "Thanks for being here for me."

My temptation was to take those words and turn them around using them to make me feel bad for not being able to be here as much as I used to. But I didn't. I thanked God that he has given me wonderful kids who want to come chat with me at 3:00 in the morning.

After I awoke this morning, I went downstairs to find the four youngest kids all sitting around the table playing Skip Bo. I asked about the doorbell I had heard early. Bryan said, "Oh it was the neighbor, he wanted me to come play, but I told him I was spending time with my siblings and can't play just now."

I may not always be able to spend as much time with the kids as I used to. But I love how we're still "family." No crisis or tragedy will ever be able to take that away.