Okay, before you blast me for my lack of faith, spirituality, or whatever it is people like to jump on me for ....  well...just don't do it....I'm just sharin' is all.

Last Sunday I was sitting in church minding my own business when suddenly the Holy Spirit lovingly whacked me upside my head - in a spiritual sort of way. The pastor was preaching on fear. Well for those who know me, fear is not something that I have. I am brave!  I am strong! I am Woman! and guess what I discovered?  I am scared. I am scared when I have a closing and I have bills, that there won't be enough for the next time.  I tried to convince myself that I tithed in my heart.  That when I would receive a check, I knew God was giving it to me.  I knew He was my provider. And I knew that He was okay with me using the money to pay bills, buy food and clothes for the kids, and one nice treat for myself. I was absolutely certain he was okay with this. I would tell him, "When I feel comfortable, I will give you so much Lord!" Do you think he laughed at me?  I sometimes wonder if he just gets a big kick out of what I say to him. I would even reason that if I could use all of the money, then He wouldn't have to work so hard to get me more.

There were other times I would feel like I "should" tithe...but then I knew my heart wasn't right, so maybe it was best for me to not tithe since I didn't have a right heart.  Isn't it amazing how we can rationalize away spiritual truths?

It has really been a rough road the last three years financially - and other ways as well. But God always has come through for me. I know He is my provider. There is no question about that. 

There I sat when I got whacked. Quickly my mind began calculating - I only have enough in my account to cover the tithe. There would be nothing left after that. To top it off, I'm in real estate. I only get paid when I have a closing, and closings typically take 30 days, and I don't even have any offers on the table.  How can I give all that I have? What could happen?  I began to tremble, but felt that I must tithe.  I decided to go to the altar for prayer.  I secretly hoped the person at the altar would say, "Oh no Terri, don't give your last bit. Keep that, just in case." 

But instead he took my hand and said, "Ask God how much he loves you."
"How much do you love me God?" 
I giggled as God spoke to my heart these words, "I love you more than you can imagine." With that I knew He would be the one taking care of me - and my family. I wrote the check while trembling. I didn't write it expecting to get something. I didn't have that heart attitude. The only attitude I had was that I knew he would take care of me.

When I arrived at my car, there was a voice mail on my phone, a new client who wanted to see a house that night. I giggled. Later that night I went to the house the new client wanted to see. He was late so I opened the door, letting the house air out a little and sat in my car.  A carload of women stopped and asked to see the house. They didn't like that one, but would like me to show them other houses on their list. The original client came and wanted to make an offer on the house. (It didn't go through, but he's still looking at houses with me)

On Monday I went to take a buyer to see some houses. We had already looked at about 50 houses.  This day she said, "Why don't you let me drive this time. I know you spend so much on gas taking me to all of these houses." (PTL) While showing her houses, another client called wanting to make an offer on a house we had seen a month before. (I put in the offer and it was accepted!)

A couple of hours later a man called telling me an aquaintance had given him my number (does he know God?) and said he has a house to sell and wants to buy a house, but he doesn't need to sell his house first. I took him to see the house and he said, "Let's make a full price offer."(We now have an accepted offer on that house!) (PTL again!)

An hour later someone else called saying, "You just sold a house down the street from me and the sellers said you were awesome so we want you to sell our house for us and we need to buy a house." I will be putting this house on the market on Sunday.

I received an e-mail from a man wanting to look at two houses. They are ready to buy now! They just can't see any houses until Saturday.

I received a call on one of my listings. I met them tonight, they will be going to the bank tomorrow to check on financing for the house.

While showing the man who bought the house, a friend came with him and said, "I need to buy a house too.  Can you help me too?" (HELLO!  DUH!)

It is only Thursday, four days after giving everything to God. I'm now so busy with real estate business, I've been barely able to come up to breathe. 

I've always believed the word of God, but somehow when I was in the middle of the fear, I forgot how much He really does love me.

How much does God love you?  Ask him!