I wrote this a couple weeks ago and sent to myself, but haven't had a chance until now to get it posted. I don't have time to spell check and read over it - so hopefully it makes sense!
It's funny. As a mom who's known since before I was even pregnant that I wanted to homeschool, the 'socialization' issue has never been something I've seen as a big deal. We are definitely not an anti-social family, and are very involved in our church that has many many children, and many of them are homeschooled as well. He has no problems playing with the children at church, those his age and those who are not. He's also able to hold conversations with adults, and only pulls the shy act when tired or hungry. He's even been known to strike up conversations with strangers in the store or on the bus.
But in the last few days, he's had a couple incidents of shyness with other children. Both were at the park, with children a little older than him. I'm hoping this is just a case of normal childhood behavior. He's starting to reach the age where he feels self-conscience. I think he is afraid to look silly or get rejected. He's never said so much, but he always asks for me to take care of the problems. I encourage him, even give him the words to say, but he still gets scared to just go up to talk to the kids. In one case, I had to help him 'meet' one of the kids (who was so little he didn't talk yet) and this made it all better and he was able to play.
I'm just baffled as how best to handle these situations. He's usually such an outgoing social kid, I wasn't expecting a shyness around kids he doesn't know. I hope it's something he'll out grow, as I don't want him to have trouble making friends in the future.
A lot of people feel shy around people they don't know. I do, and I was public schooled right through. It could just be his personality, in which case I think it's important to not make him think there's something wrong with him.
Some people are genuinely happy with a smaller circle of close friends they can always rely on. Others want to be the life of every party. Neither are bad, they are just different.
That said, it could just be a phase he's going through, or it could just be that something about those kids in particular made him feel he didn't want to pursue a friendship with him.
By all means help him to learn to introduce himself and give a friendly greeting to others. These are basic social skills that everyone should have. But I wouldn't get upset if he doesn't want to make friends with every single person he meets, especially if he is unlikely to meet that person again.
I'm a homeschooling mom of a 5 yr old boy - Bug. We're Sabbath keeping, God loving Christians from Portland, OR. We're excited to start our Kindergarten Year!
