Jun. 13, 2008
GREAT NEWS!
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Boy, there really are some great things on TV. (We're on a short holiday in KY, staying in a motel.) Last night, we were watching a Discovery channel on the amazing feats of the human body. You've heard the tales. They're of the sort: Petite mother hoists Idaho-sized SUV off her beloved kitten. Or--Man pays attention when listening to his wife after (hmmmm. Come to think of it, this one's hard to imagine.) Well, last night's feat involved a man who embarked on an incredible feat of strength and endurance. Part of his training to perform his amazing action required gaining a few pounds. Caught my attention. "John gained fourteen pounds in preparing..." ME TOO! ME TOO! My heart cried within. It showed John sporting a tidy little pooch midsection. Must say, his 14 pounds and my 14 pounds look just a bit different. I tuned back into the story. John was going to swim the English Channel. And his body needed the extra fat to burn for energy. Something about insulation too. I began whacking Jay's arm. "See! I'm just well-insulated! I missed my calling as a Channel swimmer." Jay wisely remained silent. The narrator went on to explain the beauty of how the body, once it's depleted its glucose, then turns to burning fat as a fuel. I glanced at my soft tummy and sat up straighter. It showed a illustration of the fellow's gut with little arrows showing how the swim was going to burn, baby, burn, that fat right off. His weight gain, all fourteen pounds of it ,was strategic. That's precisely the amount he would need to sustain him on his epic journey. It showed him slipping into the water, his arms cleaning slicing through the water and pictured myself in my speedo right along side of him. I imagine my body emerging on the other side....firm, flat tummy, sharp jaw line, defined arms. Yes, I could get into this! One little measly ole swim and he comes out 14 pounds lighter. I whacked Jay in the arm with renewed vigor. "I JUST NEED TO SWIM THE ENGLISH CHANNEL!" (And double back again a few miles.) My eyes were glued to the TV. I was anxious to see this chump get out of the water and see if his little paunch had melted away but they didn't show it. Harrumpf. Jay quietly pointed out the perils and length of a Channel swim. Oh. What does he know? I'm going swimming today. |
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