Jul. 11, 2008
My Schnauzer beating friend
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Shhhhhhh! Don't tell anyone but that angel of mercy who shows up in a hospital ministering to your medical needs might---just might----have a very dark alter-ego. Oh, she's not going to inject catsup into your IV or anything like that. She's a skilled and very fine nurse of many years. Additionally, she's always the one with a hot meal when you're sick....or help for your kids....or a word of encouragement....or a... And that is why what I'm about to tell you is so shocking. I reference her off-hours activities. I for one was stunned beyond words when she told me of some nefarious deeds. The topic was dogs and the various breeds. I mentioned my dislike for yippy poodles and muscular breeds with names like "Fang" and "Killer." It was then I saw a change take over her usual pleasant demeanor. "I hate Schnauzers," she said with a growl. Her dark eyes turned flinty. Being Native American, in a flash I could envision the warrior laying deep within her. Something had awakened. "Really," I said. Her voice continued darkly. "I had a friend who had a Schnauzer and when I'd go over to her house when she wasn't there... that dog....it would run from me and hide under the bed..." My eyes widened. "....and I'd pull that thing out from under the bed and beat the sh** out of him!" her eyes danced with maniacal joy. She threw back her head and laughed with abandon. (Note to PETA readers: She has since reformed her ways. I think.) It did sound like a nasty little creature. And almost as quickly as she told the story, she morphed back into the kind and gentle nurse/homeschooling mom that I know so very well. I had largely forgotten this tale until I received a birthday card from her the other day. Upon opening it "Thank you for being a friend" rang out from the card. A bill fell from the card, "For coffee----it's inspirational for writing, you know." My eyes were getting misty. And then I spotted a small post script in the corner. It read: If you try not to be my friend, I'll get all my Indian friends to beat you up. A shudder ran through my body. Honey, I'd never dare NOT be your friend. And should I ever change my mind....I know not to hide under the bed. |
Comments
Jul. 14, 2008 - Untitled Comment
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Posted by pj <%CommentAuthorIP%
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