Sitting in Casualty from midnight till 3 with a sleeping child who seems to have miraculously recovered on the trip in can be a pathetic experience. I arrived and saw there were only a couple of people waiting and felt relief I had made the right decision, an hr later I was still feeling confident even though no one had moved out of the waiting room. As I moved into the second hr my neck was in full swing as it kept darting around assessing the situation, why was there so little movement happening, why did I have this sleeping child in my arms who was screaming in agony with his ear. Now add to the mix 4 male youths walking in who I'm sure just wanted somewhere to hang out for the night, if you wonder about the shape of the world it takes 5 min of listening to these young men talk to know it is a mess. Now I am really questioning my decision, I am feeling quite overwhelmed and thinking about just going home but the fear of this child waking and screaming again keeps me frozen there apart from my neck which by now is in full swing. Moving into the 3rd hr bitterness is starting to move in, I am starting to look despairingly at everyone trying to will them to move quicker or to turn into a Dr., even the cleaner  was starting to look good enough to assess this child's ear. Depression is now setting in and I am having visions of my husband laughing at me in the morning for he always says they will be fine, as he sleeps soundly through it all . Finally our name is called and I carry this still sleeping child in who by the way is 2 and a half and weighs 19 kg so my arms feel like they are dragging on the ground and I am having concerns about my skirt slipping down as the elastic isn't that great, why am I never dressed well for such unexpected trips. Anyway I am in the room I have been desiring for these past hrs for 5 min, I want to stay longer it doesn't seem enough, can't I sit and chat for awhile. I keep asking questions to make it all seem worth it, the dr. opens the door giving me the hint to just move on, let it go woman he is thinking. I leave feeling quite smug, I'm the mother I know and I want my husband to hear I am not a fretting lunatic our son has a bruised eardrum from water being squirted at him which he doesn't think is perforated but it even sounds more dramatic when added to my story. I delight in waking my husband to tell him I was right, his eyes open, he acts like he's listening, I’m waiting for the well done mother speech and he rolls back over and mumbles about something that has nothing to do with EARS!!!!!

By the way William is fine and I am tired.