Jul. 24, 2008 Life can seem so strange at times. Like my posts.
I need some prayers. I'll explain by telling a bit of a story...
When I was about ten years old my family moved from town to come live near my Grandpa and Uncle's farm. When we first moved I didn't have any friends. I didn't know anyone and spent most of my time playing with my brothers or by myself (which by the way, isn't a bad thing). After being there a little while and not having any friends, I kinda gave up on any ideas of making friends.
Then one day I was in the front yard playing with our dog when a girl who looked to be about my age rode past on her bike. I smiled at her and then went in the house. I think by this point in time I didn't want friends anymore. I was a little scared to be too close with people I didn't know. So anyway, later that day the same girl rode past again. She stopped her bike on the road and from there it went something like this:
Her-"Hey, do you live here?"
Me-"Yeah. We moved in a few months ago."
Her-"Oh. Do you go to the Notus school?"
Me-"No, I'm homeschooled."
Her-"So that's why I never see you around!"
Me-"Ha, yeah."
...Awkward silence.
Her-"What's you name?"
Me-"Nikki."
Her-"You don't look like a Nikki."
Me-"Oh. What's your name?"
Her-"Lindsey."
Me-"Do you live down the road?"
Her-"Yeah. With my grandparents and my dad."
From there on it was about the same. Me, totally shy and a little freaked out by this out-going, public school girl on her fancy bike telling me that my name doesn't fit me. And her trying to sum up the freak who appears to have no contact with the outside world. We ended up playing together for most of that summer. I don't really know why. I wasn't sure what I thought about her and I'm not sure she liked me that much, but we still hung out. Go figure.
After that summer my family moved again. This time only up the road a little ways. Lindsey moved, too. She moved closer to her school. Still not far from me, but not close enough to ride her bike over anymore. I know my mom was never thrilled with me being around Lindsey, but I think she prayed that I might be a bit of a good influence on her. As the time passed I saw less and less of her. Most of this was my own doing. I was afraid of what being her friend might get me into. When I did hear from her she always went on about being a cheerleader and her boyfriend and how she was going to some party or something. I was thinking about how messed up it was that someone so young could even be thinking about such things.
So to avoid the problem I just hid. I didn't give her our new phone number when we got a new one. I didn't go over to her house anymore, and we just grew apart. And I was thankful for this. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to help her. But I didn't feel like I could. I'm not yet that strong spiritually myself, how could I ever help her?? I did continue to pray for her every night. And I would often wonder what she was up to, thinking that it couldn't be good. How could it? She didn't have anyone looking after her! Her dad worked all the time and she doesn't even know her mom. So I prayed, I thought, and I moved on.
Until yesterday. Yesterday a 1975 Candy-Apple Red Firebird rolled into our driveway. Out of the Firebird came a bleached blond Lindsey (she used to have brown hair) in her short shorts and skimpy tank-top. She gave me a big hug and asked how I have been. I blinked and stuttered and probably answered in really stupid ways. Thankfully my dad was there and played the part of a polite and sensible human being. After a while though he went into the shop to 'let you girls talk'. In my mind I was going "But I don't want to!" But outside I tried to be nice and fairly talkative. At one point she looked at me and said,
"You've lost weight!"
"Yeah, I started running this year."
After that she came over and felt my scrawny arms and grinned. I then said,
"Yes, I'm still weak. You were always stronger than me."
She just giggled and went on about how she has to be in shape because she's on the cheer-leading team and so on. She asked me if I wanted to go to the Fair with her and her boyfriend. I told I would ask, because in the past when I would say no right away she would get mad at me. She said she would stop by today and see if I could. She never came. I'm not sure what's going on. Why did God bring her back into my life? What am I supposed to do? I don't know any of this! To close this little whatever-ya-call-it post I will just ask for prayers. I really need to look to the Lord right now for guidance. I have no plans of spending time with her, but I need to know how to deal with the situations I know I'm going to be put in. So please pray. And any advise would be very much appreciated.
Thank you.
~Nikki
|
•
Others' Thoughts (1)
• Write Your Thoughts!
• Permanent Link
|
Jun. 22, 2008 Wowza, update time!
I really don't like telling people I'm busy. I feel dumb when I do it. Like I don't have time for them or anything other than what I'm "busy" with. And it's not true. Well, sometimes I may not have the time to blog or email and IM people and stuff, but that doesn't make it unimportant. I really, really like blogging and talking to friends, so being busy is hard for me. I guess I'll move on with my apology and stop rambling now.
So for anyone who still wanders by here, I am still going to write on this blog and I do not mean to ignore anybody. I have been pretty busy so far this summer (see? doesn't that sound lame?) but I still want to keep in touch with other bloggers. I will try to help my case by giving you a bit of an insight as to what I've been doing.
Driver's Ed. is probably the biggest thing that's causing me to have time-management problems. I wanted to get signed up this year so I could have my license by the time I'm sixteen and be able to babysit for my family members with small children. So mom got me signed up. I was due to start the day after we got back from camping, and yes, I was nervous. The first night of that was weird. Not bad, but weird. I have to go to a public school for classes...and that took some getting used to. Now it's not a big deal, I go, I keep to myself (while being polite to the other kids) and then I leave. End of classroom experience. I'll be done with that soon, which will be nice. I don't really favor getting up at 5:00am for drive classes.
Also just some family stuff. Helping with chores, weddings, friends. All that good stuff. And this summer I'm trying to get in the habit of running everyday. Today I got my little brother to go with me, that was nice. :) Anyway, I do plan on writing more. I'm sure it will be easier when Driver's Ed. is over. I'm trying really hard to learn everything I can in this class.
It would also be wonderful if people would pray for me right now. I had high hopes of getting closer to the Lord this year, but that hasn't been the case. I find myself having time to do everything else, but when it comes to God I say "oh, I need to study my driver's manual. I'll study my Bible later." and I know that is not the right thing. I really can't have it this way, and I'm working on it, but all prayers are greatly appreciated. Thank you.
~Nikki |
•
Others' Thoughts (7)
• Write Your Thoughts!
• Permanent Link
|
May. 7, 2008 What? It's high-time I write again? Oh...ok.
If I still have any readers after my absence I apologize for not writing and/or not returning comments. I was gone last week and have been busy this week. That's not saying I think it's a good excuse or anything, I'm just telling what I've been up to. I'm going to do my best to come up with a good post soon, but no promises! But really, I need to get some stuff under control around here first. Stuff like out-of-control weeds and camping trips that need planning and school that needs finishing for the summer. Whew. Lots of stuff.
*
So please stay with me! I'll try my best to comment soon. Hope everyone is doing well. More later!
*
~Nikki
|
•
Others' Thoughts (6)
• Write Your Thoughts!
• Permanent Link
|
Apr. 9, 2008 Tune in Next Week...or Whenever.
This is just a post to say that I will be posting again soon. I have not forgotten about my blog or my blogger friends, just stay with me here! Maybe I'll even be able to come up with something worth reading about. Just maybe. Til then!
Blessings,
~Nikki |
•
Others' Thoughts (4)
• Write Your Thoughts!
• Permanent Link
|
Mar. 10, 2008 Growing and Trusting.
After reading Jocelyn's latest posts on college and marriage I got to thinking about growing up in general. I mean, I know it's something everyone has to do and does do, but sometimes it seems like it either happens too fast or not fast enough. I guess I've been thinking more about it because of certain members of my family growing up and moving forward in their lives. As an example, my cousin started college and now we don't see him as much. My brother is finishing school and when he does who knows how long he'll be home? I think he wants to get an apartment with my cousin (the one that's going to college) so that my cousin won't have to drive so far everyday and so my brother can get a job in Boise. I'm okay with that and all, but then I'll be the oldest kid at home. I can't even imagine how that will be. I've always had my brother to do things and to talk to and it will just be weird not having him.
*
It also is a reminder that I too have to grow up and move on. When my brother moves out I'll have to take on more responsibilities. I'll be the one my little brothers watch and learn from. It will always be my job to make dinner when my mom has to work. Alex won't be there when I have questions about a school book that he's already done. Nope, it'll just be me. And I'll have to grow up and learn how to do more. At first I thought about it in a different way, like 'man, Alex will be gone and I'm gonna be left here to do all this stuff without him.' but now I see it the way I should have all along. It's not me being left behind, it's me moving forward and learning how to be more helpful to my family. My Dad and Mom will need me here to help with the boys and chores and all kinds of other things I can't think of right now. I'm moving forward too, even if it doesn't seem like it. And even though I will miss my brother, I'll be okay. He's growing up just like he's supposed to, and so am I. God is still teaching me how to be a home-keeper. He's still working with me. I just need to trust Him and believe that He knows what is best for me. Because I sure don't! The only One I trust to lead my life is the Lord, and in order for that to happen I have to give all my worries and concerns over to Him.
*
So that is where I stand. I am not going anywhere, but yet I am. God is working with me and helping me to learn and grow in the safety of my own home. Someday it will be my turn to venture out in to the big scary world, but for now I still have work to do. And I'll do my best to work hard. As long as I have my God to trust in and my family to serve I'm fine where ever I am.
*
~Nikki
|
•
Others' Thoughts (13)
• Write Your Thoughts!
• Permanent Link
|
Feb. 17, 2008 Here's hoping for an early spring.
Yes, just as the title says, I'm hoping for an early spring. I can't wait for sunny days and pretty flowers. Not to mention I'm supposed to get a new camera this spring. I cannot wait until then! I think I'm going to buy the Canon EOS Rebel. If anyone has that camera please leave me a comment and tell me how you like it.
*
I need to reply to some comments, I know that, so stick with me a little longer. I have a really good idea for a post in my head and just need to type it up. I'll try to do that soon. Just wanted to put a quick post up on here, so I'll be back before too long. hope everyone is having a good February so far.
*
~Nikki
|
•
Others' Thoughts (10)
• Write Your Thoughts!
• Permanent Link
|
Jan. 19, 2008 Yes, I'm still writing on here.
Sorry, again, for the lack of writing being done on the so-called 'writers' blog. I do have some good reasons though. First off, I was babysitting last week for my cousin while she and her husband were gone. It was really my aunt and I, not just me, but I was pretty much given the job of watching the two year old. He was really good and I had a good time, but I didn't know keeping up with a two year old was so much work! And I had to help watch the ten month old. She is so cute! I did have to get up in the middle of the night a few times to give her a bottle, not that I minded or anything. It was fun but I'm glad to be home again. I missed everyone at home.
*
Thanks to everyone who has been commenting. I will try and get back with you all soon. And thanks for all the kind comments on my last post. I'm doing much better now and the problems that I was dealing with seem to have worked themselves out. Thanks again for all the prayers and concern. I have such sweet friends here on HSB.
*
Okay, well I can't be on here long right now. I just wanted to let you guys know what I've been up to. More soon! (hopefully) 
*
~Nikki
|
•
Others' Thoughts (12)
• Write Your Thoughts!
• Permanent Link
|
Dec. 27, 2007 And now for some sad news.
Alright, now this time I have a good reason for not blogging in so long. My horse died and I've been kinda getting over that. The vet said she got hypothermia. He also said that a lot of animals get it this time of year. I was so sad. To top it all off, she was thin because I hadn't been feeding her enough (I wasn't sure just how much I needed to be feeding her). I had upped her feed the week before she died, but it was too little too late I guess. I can't help but wonder though if she didn't have something wrong with her. She had lost a lot of weight in just a matter of days. This was after I started feeding her more. So I don't know. I just know that I miss her.
*
I'm doing better now. I'm sure most of that is thanks to the prayers of friends. I don't think we'll be getting another horse for a while though. I'm not sure we're cut out for horses anyway. I don't really think I am. I was a city girl until just a few years ago and am still getting used to "country life". We don't have any outside animals (other than a cat) but we have a pretty big place and it's a bit of a chore to keep it up. And there's my dad's shop. It's still in the building process and we spend almost every weekend up there working on it. My dad's going to build, paint and work on cars in it some day. That way he can live out his dream and work at home. Yay! So yeah. Maybe I'm just not meant to have a horse. But I still loved Cassie. She was an awesome horse.
*
I don't have much more for now. I just thought that I'd post about what's been going on around here, sad as it is. And also I would appreciate all your prayers at this time. I'm having a bit of a struggle right now with some stuff and prayers are always welcome. Thanks to you all! And I hope you all had a great Christmas!
*
~Nikki |
•
Others' Thoughts (17)
• Write Your Thoughts!
• Permanent Link
|
Dec. 2, 2007 I love winter...yes, I know you all think I'm weird.
I haven't always loved winter. I've always loved snow, but not always winter. I love it now because I see things differently. I see lights, pretty frost, reasons to sit inside and read and reasons to spend more time with my family. My family doesn't really do the whole Christmas thing. You know, the tree, the gifts and all that stuff. We do more of a simple version of it. But I love it all the same. I do get to see my mom's family on Christmas Eve, and for that I am thankful. I also like winter because of my love for photography. Just yesterday I went outside in my slippers to take a picture of the frost on the pasture fence, I know how weird that must sound. But the picture turned out great, okay?! lol. Anyway, those are just a few of my reasons for liking winter.
*
Another reason would be tomorrow. My birthday. Now we don't really do that much on birthdays around here either, but we do get to choose what we want for supper and I usually get some nice gifts from some members of my family and a few good friends. So I like my birthday just the same. I'm going to be 15 this year, not a big number, but it's still a number. I don't feel all that different yet. I remember when I turned 13 my Aunt kept telling me I was going to be a zombie. I surprised her by not turning into a "zombie", or at least she says I'm not one.
*
Okay, well that's all I have for now. This is the first time I've gotten to use the computer today (and it's 5:30pm) and I still have some stuff I need to do. Thanks to all of you awesome people that comment even though I'm a lousy blogger. You guys are great!
*
~Nikki |
•
Others' Thoughts (14)
• Write Your Thoughts!
• Permanent Link
|
Nov. 7, 2007 Just so you know...
This is a post to say that I am not dead and will be posting again soon. Heh, I bet that sounds funny. But really, I can't do a nice normal entry right now but will soon. Thanks for the comments! (If you're one of those kind people that comment) ;-) More soon!
~Nikki |
•
Others' Thoughts (20)
• Write Your Thoughts!
• Permanent Link
|
|
|
|
My Blinkies & Icons:
Thanks to...
Jocelyn
|
