The battle between me, this world, and my ability to ignore it, is constant. I say this so often; I know it must seem like I'm just an incredibly weak person in order for this to be a problem so often for me, and I know I'm supposed to let God lead me through it all, and I would like to think I'm trying. But obviously I must be holding back and being stubborn for it to still be such a hard thing for me to do.

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This year has been pretty hard for me as far as letting the LORD lead my life. It's almost as if I forget that He's supposed to be the writer, producer, and director of my life. It's kind of like I just want him to be the audience and applaud me for doing a fine job on my own. I know this isn't right. I know that the reason I feel the way I do is because I'm doing it wrong. I'm doing it my way. I sure do hate the fact that I let so much time pass without the LORD's guidance and wisdom. Why am I this way?? I so desperately want to change. I pray, I feel like I'm trying to let Him, and then I just default back to my way. Please pray for me. That's all I can ask for.

Thanks.

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~Nikki

I just found out that I was the featured blogger on the Backyard. I am truly and pleasantly honored, but also shocked. When I first started writing on here it was simply a way to get out what I felt and share my growing love of The LORD. I never in my wildest dreams would have thought my posts could be called encouraging. I want to be an encouragement to anyone who comes by my blog, but I didn't think I was very good at it.

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My main goal on here is to let people know that even Christians have weaknesses. God allows us to stumble but says He will always be here for us. Always. He helps us through everything.

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Psalm 37:23-24 (KJV)

²³The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.

 ²⁴Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.

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So even though I never quite know what I'm doing, I'm so glad someone finds my writing encouraging. I am growing very fond of using  Bible verses in my posts because that's what I want people to see on my blog. I want them to understand that God is for everyone. He's for the rich, the poor, and the disorganized sixteen year old. Thank you to any and all who read my posts. May you all be blessed.

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~Nikki

Well, this post won't be anything special, but it will be a post! And that's a start, right?

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A very sweet friend gave me a few suggestions for what to write about, so I think I'll take one of them and use it for now. She suggested that I write about my day, and though it isn't terribly interesting, I might go ahead and do that.

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First I exercised with my Mom. We just started doing this in the last week or so and I'm still feeling pretty weak. I hadn't done any kind of exercise all winter and let me tell you, I'm a total wimp now.
   Then I did some math. I hadn't done basic math in a little while. It seems like once you hit high school they drop all the basic math and have you focus solely on algebra and geometry and other things you won't use as often as the math you learn in middle school. I actually enjoyed doing my math because I love basic math. It's all that complicated stuff I don't like. It's not so much that I find it hard, I just find it tedious.

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I then took a lunch break, read a book on economics, cleaned the kitchen, bathroom, and tidied up the family and living rooms a bit. Then our friend who is visiting from California came over and we talked and played some games. I also had to help take care of my little brother because he had a fever all day. Poor guy.

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I just finished having dinner with my family. A rare occasion since my mom started working evenings a few years ago. I love having family dinners now.

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So there you have it. Not exciting or anything, but that was my day and I kind of liked it. Hopefully I'll come up with something more interesting before long. If not, I'll post about something else that's going on around here.

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Blessings!

~Nikki