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Sep. 9, 2009
Goodness! What a Year!
My oh my, what a year it has been! The summer has just flown by and now we're looking autumn right in the face. It's amazing and scary all at once.
As my last post stated, I've had a bit of a hard time handling things this year. I think it has to do with having more responsibilities and not knowing where to start. This year my older brother got a job, a car, and well, the start of his own life. My parents are struggling with this, and understandably so. He's their firstborn, their "baby" and they don't want to see him rush off into the unknown just yet. Oh, he stills lives here and helps out and everything, but he's not here as much and can't come with us on little trips as often. I miss him, too.
I guess on the selfish side of things, I miss him because it means I have quite a bit more to do. Maybe not even that much more to do, I just know that people depend on me more now. Mom needs me to make dinner on the nights that my brother (and my mom) work. Dad needs me to help out more with the yard work. My brothers need me to be there for them; playing silly boy games and rough-housing with them. I'll never be as good at all those things as my older brother, but I'm learning how to do my best. And honestly, it's hard for me. I'm used to kind of living in his shadow and copying what he does. Now I have to strike out on my own and try to make things work.
I think I have been feeling a sense of panic about all this. I feel like time is running away from me; going so much faster than I can keep up with. Everyone is growing up, everything is changing. People are expecting me to grow up, too. And rightfully so, I suppose.
It's kind of funny; people have always treated me as if I were much younger than I actually am. I've looked 12 years old for almost 5 years now, and for the most part it hasn't bothered me. It still doesn't bother me too much. The thing is, now I feel rushed. The youthful look won't do me any good now. This is it, life won't take pity on me because I'm small and look like a child. I'm growing up. But I have the LORD on my side! And as long as I can remember that I will always have a reason to smile and keep going.
Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. (KJV)
~Nikki |
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Sep. 12, 2009 - Hey there...
Thanks for stopping by again.
Miss Rachel
http://dixonhomestead.com/rachel