Our Busy Little World
Jun. 18, 2006 - Teaching Boundaries
I've had a number of people ask me about blanket time, so I thought I'd post about that, and teaching boundaries in general. We use blanket time during preschool reading. The girls take turns having "special time" (where they sit and snuggle with me while I read) and blanket time. Here's how it works: I put two decent size blankets on the floor of the living room, and on each one I'll put one or two "preschool" toys that they only use during this time. Some toys we like for this are: chunky wooden puzzles, Lauri toys like shape sorters, Melissa & Doug's wooden food cutting set, a baby wipes container filled with plastic animals (88 cents at Walmart) or small teddy bears for counting, a mancala set (for the ones who don't put toys in their mouth), some board books for the littler ones, lacing beads, and lacing boards (pretend sewing). There are others, but these are some favorites! Then I put one girl on each blanket and one with me. The rules are simple: no talking unless you raise your hand and mommy says "yes", stay on your blanket, play nicely and properly with your toys (no banging, throwing, etc) and be cheerful. If there's any deviation from any of these (venturing off the blanket, whining, etc), they typically get a swat on the hand and a cheerful reminder of what they should be doing (depending on the situation, they may need a more formal discipline session). I set the timer for 20 or so minutes and we read the favorite books of the child who's in my lap. Then we rotate. This way they all get to use all the toys, see the pictures in their favorite books, and have time to snuggle with me. It works pretty well. There are always days where everyone just wants to sit on the couch, and that's usually fine too, but this gives the squirmy ones options. When my three year old is on the blanket, I ask periodically "What did mommy just read" to make sure she's hearing the book.
As far as training, the youngest baby I've done blanket time with is Naomi, and she started at about 14 or 15 months. I'm sure you could do it with a younger one, I've just never needed to since we usually have reading time during the younger babies' morning naps. An important key to teaching boundaries like this is that children must be accustomed to obeying instructions (promptly, cheerfully and completely), and recognize the God-given authority of their parents. Of course, this is something we work on daily, and sometimes it feels like two steps forward, one back. But we must not lose heart in well doing!
If you're starting a little late with child training, there are a number of wonderful books to help. My motto with any book besides the Bible is "eat fruit, spit out pits". Recognizing that any book written by people is not perfect is very helpful to gleaning wisdom from many sources. That said, I will only mention a couple of my favorite books, that I believe are primarily "fruit" and very little, if any "pits". Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp is a wonderful, practical book on training, discipling and disciplining our little ones to obey from their heart, not just outwardly. I also love "The Mother At Home" by John SC Abbot - it's an older book, which is usually so refreshing to read, and it's eminantly practical. Lastly, I highly recommend the audio CD series Biblical Childrearing by Doug Wilson, available at canonpress.org.
Ok, back to teaching boundaries: When I started teaching Naomi blanket time, here's how I did it (I put this in a comment earlier this week, so I'm just pasting it here):
I don't know that I'd call Naomi easy-going, but I have found that certain things have been a bit easier to teach to successive children, as they watch and copy their older siblings. Naomi does seem to understand pretty well what I tell her, and is used to obeying (or should I say, is learning pretty well to obey). But the way I do blanket-time training is that I pat the blanket a few times and tell her I want her to stay on it and play. Then I pat the floor around it and say "no, no". Then I just sit really close to her, and if she starts to go off the blanket she gets a little swat on the hand with a "wisdom worker" and I say "No, obey mommy and play on the blanket". Like I said, she really seems to understand well what I tell her to do (which doesn't mean she always does it unfortunately :-)), so this has been a fairly easy thing to teach her. But it does take persistence and consistency. If a little one gets a swat on the hand each time they go off the blanket, it doesn't usually take more than a few to convince them to stay on the blanket!
Lastly, there are lots of other ideas in the same vein, that give our kids something purposeful to do, that is confined to a certain spot. Here are some that we use a lot:
*Couch time (usually with a bunch of books, or a specific toy)
*Chair time (with one book to practice for church)
*Standing time (they usually do this by me while I'm frying tortillas)
*Dollhouse time
*Playpen time (starting this young helps with them liking it - Juliette already recognizes and likes the playpen. The key with this that we work on is playing happily, not just putting up with it)
*Hula hoop time (I don't really use this - but it looks like a great idea from preschoolersandpeace!)
*Dolly time - this isn't confined to a certain spot, just a certain type of play!
*Table time - in their chair or a high chair for a little one. Isabelle loves this, as she can work on her puzzle.
*Project table time - they get to choose one project (simple ones: crayons and paper, scissors and paper, stickers and paper, etc)
We did try roomtime for awhile - where a daughter played alone cheerfully in her room for awhile, but we pretty much stopped that unless they desire to. I read a line in Teaching the Trivium about how our children at this age really like to be near us, and it just struck a chord with me. So although they may be confined to a blanket or couch, I typically have them doing something near where I am (playpen time is an occasional exception when I'm cleaning the bathrooms or something).
Of course there are some days (like yesterday) and some times in each day where they just "do their thing" so to speak, but we really benefit a lot from having purposeful times - especially when we're reading aloud!
Comments
Jun. 19, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by reformingmama
This is great! Thanks for sharing what you do- I'll have to try this sometime. Usually my three all want to be together with mommy on the couch, so we do that most often. One on my lap, one on either side... Did you start the blanket time because you had wiggly ones or ran out of room on your lap (or next to you) or just for the purpose of it being a training tool? ... Just curious!
Blessings,
Stacy
Jun. 19, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by TwaddleMeNot
Hi Stacy, I don't honestly remember why we started blanket time - LOL! Probably because I needed to be nursing an easily distracted baby without her sisters' loving hands all over her! Or maybe so I could have individual snuggle time with each. Or maybe it was for Isabelle's sake, since she is like her daddy and sitting still is nearly impossible for her! Or because it was a change of pace for them, since we read at a couple of different times throughout the day, and this keeps them from getting bored. Ok, I suppose I really don't remember - but I like it!
Jun. 20, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by TheMotherAtHome
Great post!
