Welcome To Our Busy Little World - Choosing Books For Our Children

Our Busy Little World

Jul. 3, 2006 - Choosing Books For Our Children

Recently I was asked how we go about choosing books to read aloud to our girls, specifically since they're such little ones. This is something we put quite a bit of thought and discussion into (there's a reason we called our blog TwaddleMeNot :-)), so I'd love to share some of the principals we use to decide (and of course it will probably look a little bit different in each family - that's the beauty of a unique family culture!)

A year ago I got the Sonlight preschool set for Isabelle (I was antsy, what can I say?) Overall I like and trust Sonlight, but as we read through the books in that collection, there were quite a few times that I found myself uneasy reading the story, and other times that I just quit that story. We also read Teaching the Trivium (and LOVE it) which brought up many thoughts, too. Then in trying to figure out what made me uneasy about certain stories, Matt and I worked through a lot of different thoughts in relation to reading aloud. Here are some of the questions we ask ourselves about a book that we'll read to our little girls (and I will list some examples at the bottom):

1. Is evil portrayed as evil, and does it have a consequence?- we have no problem reading books that contain evil - in "childlike" forms such as disobedient children and in other forms such as dragons, thieves, etc. If we had a problem "exposing" our children to evil, we wouldn't be able to read the Bible to them - it chronicles many evil acts of men starting just a few chapters into it - and this is for our learning! We do not believe we should try to make our children oblivious to the fact that evil exists. As God's children, we are called to overcome evil, not pretend it doesn't exist. In story books I look to see that evil is not tolerated as "cuteness" in little child characters, nor perceived as good in any character. And I look to see that the book shows the Biblical principle that you reap what you sow. As a small example, take the little naughty kitten in Beatrix Potter - his mom doesn't outright discipline his naughtiness, but he is sent to bed with no supper while his obedient siblings enjoy dessert - a consequence for his disobedience was shown. When we do read a rare book that doesn't show disobedience with a consequence, we always talk about it.

2. Does this book *tell the truth* about the Bible?- this point I bring up because many "Christian" books today (in our opinion) tell "lies" about the Bible. Oh, they're not exactly blatant lies. But they often make God out to be a soft cuddly gooey friend who pets lambs and just wants everyone to be "personally fulfilled", instead of the Holy, Righteous God that He is. Of course God is our Perfect Friend - but to only show one side of His character with no mention of anything else about Who He is seems to not be telling the truth. Many of these books also put forth the message that Christianity translates to "nice-ness". Most "Christian" books nowadays (again, in our opinion) are cheesy twaddle full of "niceness". Everything in life boils down to being "nice". In addition to this, they're usually full of poor theology, but that's another blog (probably for Matt!)

3. What worldview is portrayed in this book? - Often I see books that *seem* Christian-ish to people, or at least fine for Christians to read (usually because they're full of nothing but nice-ness - Strawberry Shortcake comes to mind though I admit we do have one or two of those!) , yet I feel uneasy reading them to my girls. Some of these underlying worldview issues I look for are: feminism (girl-power), psychology "gospel" (way too much modern "Christian" psychology is SO far from Biblical truth), egalitarianism, humanism, socialism - lots of ism's, I know, but we must really think about the worldview a book is "preaching". The reason for this is that Christ said we are all either for or against Him. There really is no neutrality or middle ground, and this is just as true in little children's books as in anything else. Now I'm not saying that I only read Christian books to my kids - far from it! But I do try to read books that portray a right worldview.

4. Similar to above, how is evil dealt with in this book by the "good" people? Do they run and hide in terror, do they pretend no evil exists and just convert everything to "nice-ness", or do they valiantly seek to overcome evil? Life is full of difficulties (yes, even for children and babies). Of course we protect and "shelter" our children, but my goal is not to make my girls happy all the time. My goal is that they would glorify God. They do this not by always being surrounded by a puffy cloud of niceness, but by persevering cheerfully even when it is difficult. Thus I like to read them stories where the characters show nobility, bravery, a cheerful heart, repentence, kindness toward others, etc (Narnia books are some of our absolute favorite for this!)

5. Is this a "good" book? - Will it help teach the girls proper ways to use language or is it just cheesy? Don't get me wrong, we read lots of board books here, but even with those I usually find myself choosing the ones that are intelligently written.

*A note on fantasy and fiction - It's often somewhat obvious that a story is fictional (the girls know that cats and bunnies don't talk in real life), but sometimes I'll simply mention that a story is pretend, to make sure they don't get confused. And they really do understand. A good reflection of this is just listening to Isabelle describe stories. Again, she's three, but here are some of the comments I've heard her make to others: "The Bible is all God's word and it's true" "Narnia is a pretend story, but it helps us learn about God. Alsan helps us learn more about Jesus. He died for Edmund like Jesus died for us". I don't mind at all reading fiction and fantasy to the girls if it meets our standards overall - I just like to make sure they know if it's real or pretend.

Ok, I'm feeling a little scattered tonight so I hope this is making sense. I'm sure there are a lot more things we think through in relation to our books, but these are the ones that come to mind. Now, here are some examples that will hopefully clarify a little.

Stories I change or won't read:

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day - this was one in the book of American Classics or something like that and I couldn't read past the first few lines! It is a poem almost in celebration of a "bad" day that a little boy is having - problem is that he has a horrible attitude throughout the book. If it were my child having a "terrible" day, I would want to encourage them all the more to rejoice in the Lord, persevere, sing, pray, etc. I thought this story just indulged a bad attitude.

Where the Wild Things Are - again, a classic. Isabelle likes the pictures in this, but I change the story in order to read it. Basically a little boy is nasty and disrespectful to his mom and sent to bed with no supper because he's a "wild thing" - fine so far. But then he goes on his "wild thing" journey and decides to come back home where he's loved - and he happens to find his supper waiting for him. I hate it, because it shows no true repentence on his part yet the parent just caved in and he basically got away scott free with everything. We change it to something like "he came home and apologized to his mother. Then he greatly enjoyed feasting at breakfast with her the next day"

A side note here is the only example I can think of right now for the girl-power/feminism worldview (I can't think of a book for it because I avoid them like the plague). I've watched the movie "Princess Diaries 2" and I wouldn't even consider letting Isabelle watch it. It's nice and puffy with nothing "objectionable" in it, but it is just a whole movie of "girl-power" and I want my girls to grow up to be graceful, lovely ladies who understand the glorious roles God made them for, not little twerps who just want to do everything better than boys! But we have let Isabelle watch the Narnia movie even with the "violence" it has - because it is a noble worldview, and the violence was necessary and right. By the way, for some reason Isabelle's never once been "scared" by this kind of thing - some kids might be, I suppose. She's just very matter of fact about it.

Some We Like

Sleeping Beauty - this is one (book and movie) that was recommended to us because it was the "gospel" in story form. I will say there are many "gospel"-like elements in the Disney movie, and we have no problem with Isabelle watching it (pretty much the only Disney movie she watches). I like how the prince loves her for her "goodness" (as much as the story can portray), not wealth or power, and how he risks his life facing "all the powers of hell" (a direct quote) to save his future bride. One version of the story ruins his nobility by having him "rescue" her simply by arriving at the right time, and this annoys me. A side note on this: Isabelle mentioned this movie to a lady at the grocery store, and told her the "bad lady's" name was Maleficant. The woman said "Oh, that was a scary part, wasn't it?" Isabelle just looked at her with mild confusion and responded "Oh no honey, she was just evil and needed to be killed" We were proud of her, as this is true - unrepentant evil does need to be killed. Of course, she's probably exposed to evil a bit more than other three year olds, being the daughter of a police officer (one time she prayed for dessert by saying "please nourish this strawberry shortcake to our bodies. And if any bad people try to come in and kill us, please help us to shoot them nicely.)

St. George And The Dragon - We love the worldview of this book. St. George is selfless (gives up his life of ease to seek those in trouble), brave and noble. He is a gentleman toward the maiden, faces danges even knowing that he might be killed, etc, etc. Even the maiden in this book is feminine and noble - she is giving up her life to help her father and protect the innocents of the city, etc, etc. Just really love this story - it's one of Isabelle's favorites. Just ask her what a sword is for, and she will say "to thrust down a dragon's throat!"

The King And His Hawk (I think that's the title) - this is a sad story where the king kills his pet hawk in a tantrum of anger, when the hawk was actually trying to save the king's life. It teaches a very true lesson. Even (and sometimes especially) at tender ages, our kids struggle with anger. This story shows some real consequences for it.

Wise Words By Peter Leithart - Fairy tales illustrating Biblical Proverbs. A bit, um, gory (for lack of a better word - not bad, or anything) as fairy tales often are, but we all really enjoy reading these (and they're hilarious to us as adults - Peter has a goofy sense of humor! )

The Narnia Chronicles - we've read this whole series aloud to our girls, and probably will again many times. If you need convincing that this is a good thing, buy "What I Learned In Narnia" from canonpress.org

Last little thoughts:

1. For awhile I wondered if it was worth it to read "long" books to the girls, because honestly they often remember very little about the story line. But in the end I realized there are many benefits besides the actual story: the girls have a HUGE vocabulary in their own speaking, they are exposed to proper use of language, they hear how ladies and gentlemen ought to speak, etc. So we press on . . .

2. We want to be sensitive to our girls, and since they are so verbal, we usually know every detail of what they're thinking. If a story made them nervous or scared, we would know. Once Isabelle had a bad dream about a snake, so we held off on Frog and Toad for a bit. Once she had a bad dream about a dragon, so we said we'd hold off on dragon stories. She said maybe we could read stories with a "good" dragon - like Eustace in Narnia, and later she said she still really wanted us to read St. George and the dragon, because she loves to read about dragons for some reason. (For the record, she's also had nightmares about a "cow tickling her lips", so it's not just from books!) On these few occasions, we've also prayed with her for God's protection and that He would help her not be scared - He's always faithfully done this. Our girls just aren't made nervous by stories thus far (perhaps because they often have no context for the "scary" things. Hannah is more apt to be scared by a loud noise outside than by a story. This is just to say that aside from a few minor things, our kids haven't ever been made nervous by what we read -they choose most of these stories themselves to read over and over! They do like to talk about it sometimes, but I think they take their cue in responding to evil by watching how we respond to evil. And this may look different in families who's head isn't a police officer/knight!

Ok I've been on here way too long - good thing Matt's working tonight! But I need to head for bed. I hope this all made some sense. This is such an interesting topic of discussion to me, so if anyone would like to post questions or comments, or continue these thoughts I'm all for it!

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Jul. 3, 2006 - Amen and Amen!

Posted by boo4baby

I love your post! We are like-minded in this, though my kids are growing older and the limits are stretched a bit to stretch their linking and beliefs. God's blessings on your family! I've enjoyed visiting your blog tonight!

Blessings,
Becky

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