Our Busy Little World
Feb. 15, 2007 - Creating Antithesis For Babies
One thing I've noticed is that certain facets of child training seem to get easier with successive children, due (I'm guessing) to the younger ones having the older ones to watch. For example, I have never really had to "teach" Naomi to tidy up - she's always known how (she doesn't always do so perfectly, but that's a different subject!) She could tidy up all the playpen toys she'd chucked out from the time she was fifteen months old. And some things get a bit easier as they simply become more instinctive to me. One of those things is simply teaching "no" to a baby. Where five years ago it would have been instinctive to move my eyeglasses out of baby's reach, now it's just as instinctive to me to leave them there, and use the opportunity to teach my baby what "no" means (or practice her little restraint). This is one thing that was brought up in the parents' study we've attended recently. One of the fathers talked about creating an "antithesis" for our very young ones. He recommended starting with something that was extremely important to teach our babies anyway, such as not touching the wood stove. He reminded us that we want to teach, train and discipline, all of which are separate things. We teach by showing baby what to do what not to do. So perhaps I would take Juliette near the fireplace and pat the nearby carpet while saying "yes". Then I could touch the tile surrounding the stove (to create a boundary) and say "no, no". After repeating this a few times, I could also use her hand and say the same words. That's the teaching part. Then comes training - I set up situations in which she will face the temptation to touch the tile. Perhaps I set her blocks near the fireplace (which can be so appealing with all those orange flames!) Then I watch like a hawk (maybe where she can't see me), and whenever she puts her little hand on that tile, I swat it (or flick for a little one) saying "no". This is more to train her than to discipline. The little pain reinforces the word "no", and also reinforces not touching the tile near the fireplace. Once I'm confident that she understands and obeys I can relax quite a bit, and simply discipline if ever she disobeys. It's actually very cute to watch a little hand come near the tile, then pull back so quickly on it's own! It surely seems preferable to me to house-proof our children than to child-proof every last thing in our house (to borrow a phrase). Through all four of our little ones we've never once had a child burned on our fireplace.
Another thing Juliette has been learning is to sit nicely on my lap for family worship (and thus for church). It's been a relief to be reminded (after temporarily forgetting, and being rather flustered with her grabbiness) that I can train her not to touch what I'm holding - whether it's glasses, an open Bible or a little communion wine cup. It also brings a silly smile to my face when I whisper "no" in her ear, and she yanks that little hand back. Still, knowing these things doesn't automatically do them for me. After being sick for almost three weeks I have a bit of retraining to do, and I am seeking to be diligent to restore that peaceful order in certain areas where it's currently lacking.
Comments
Feb. 16, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by TriviumHeartschool
Good post! I'd like to add to the reason why it seems that training sucessive children is easier, we mama's become more patient and mature with age, and experience. : )
Feb. 16, 2007 - <i>Untitled Comment</i>
Posted by AutumnTerrill
I'm sorry you have been sick for so long. God bless you and give you strength in reinforcing all that you have instilled into those little ones.
I liked your ideas. They do still apply to the older ones too...just implemented a little differently, eh?
I've been sick too and realize how I have been slacking off because now that I feel sick the offenses are more glaring when I really need them to obey the first time with a good attitude.
I will be getting back to work too:)
Edited by AutumnTerrill on Feb. 16, 2007 at 3:39 PM
