Our Busy Little World
Apr. 12, 2007 - Heartschool Part 1
We've really been enjoying our school times lately. I've enjoyed the chance to sit and read favorite books to my favorite girls. I love watching Isabelle blossom and learn so much more each day. I love that we're actually doing (in a little way, of course, since she's four) copywork, oral narration, phonics, and dictation now, and having so much fun with it! But today I found another reason to love our school times. They are a perfect opportunity to work on a specific matter of the heart in my girls' lives: cheerful contentment under authority. Today God helped me to see the heart issue underneath what could have just been a petty irritation, and I am so thankful for how He lets us school not just our childrens' minds, but their hearts as well. I have my daughters switch between "stations" during our reading - a blanket with favorite preschool toys, a little table at which to draw, the dollhouse and my lap being four common ones. What's funny is that often I'll pick toys that the girls have been dying to play with (today I let them use this really cool animal chess set I own - they've wanted to play with it for so long, and I figured it wouldn't break on carpet), yet they can seem bored and listless during school times. For awhile I wondered if I wasn't giving them something stimulating enough to work on. I wondered if they were lonesome not sitting in my lap the whole time (though if I tried to have one or two of them do that, they'd desire to get down). I'd see a less than happy look on someone's face and wonder if I was asking too much of toddlers. Then I'd remember that I truly believe it is more than worthwhile to teach self-control to my little ones at this young age, that they have plenty of "free" play time, and that this was truly for their benefit. Today was the epiphany, and it came through God's grace and those silly little chess animals. I asked one daughter to play with the animal chess (the daughter who had particularly coveted these chess animals for the longest time) while it was her sister's "special time" to snuggle and read with me. I noticed that I had to repeatedly rebuke her for either trying to get up without actually doing so, looking mournfully at the couch and asking to sit with me (after she'd already had her turn, and had asked to get down), using her feet to kick at any other toys within reach, and pretty much doing all she could to not play with the toys I'd given her. She was quiet, and didn't do anything (technically) that I told her not to, but she was obviously not content. Then we all switched and this daughter asked to go to the blanket which had a bunch of little dollhouse people and furniture. I said sure, and she plopped down. A minute into reading I noticed the same things. She was barely staying at the edge of her blanket, mischiviously trying to reach anything but the toys she had been given, looking sad, etc, etc, etc. I pondered this, as I knew that when I was holding her she had wanted down, and that any other time of the day she genuinely would have loved to play with these toys. And I realized that even though it wasn't particularly disruptive (like I said, she was staying quietly on her blanket), I had seen these little symptoms in all my girls in varying amounts and at different times over the past few weeks. And I realized that the only reason she wasn't happily playing with those toys was because I had told her it was time to do so. If she had had totally free reign, chances are she would have chosen to do one of the very activities I'd set out for her. But because I had now told her to do that, and not something else, her little spirit just didn't want to. And I realized my little spirit had not been faithfully correcting these small manifestations of discontent I'd been noticing recently. So after feeling a bit discouraged at first, I did begin to correct them with kind but firm discipline. It took about three times of needing to rebuke/discipline, and a heartfelt explanation to her of what the problem seemed to be. I explained that she needed to learn to be happy with what she was told to do by those in authority over her. God doesn't want us to fuss about doing something simply because we have been told to do it (I think I was preaching to myself, too!) He wants us to do all things with joy for Him, and to be content and happy with what He's given us to do at certain times. I suggested a few different ways she could play with the things on her blanket and said she needed to do so with a happy heart, not just "barely" obey with a grouchy one. And in God's grace He changed her heart. She began to play so happily with the toys she'd been given. It was amazing to see the change, and to realize how much these little ones truly do understand! I just pray God will open my eyes each day to the things I need to be correcting, not ignoring. I was glad He taught us both in school today, and very blessed to see the sweet fruit that came out of it.
Comments
Apr. 12, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Rebeca
This is an encouragement to me too after a very challenging day with mine. I know it's partly because I've not been dilligent in some areas. Let us press on!
Rebeca
Apr. 13, 2007 - Wonderful insight
Posted by AutumnTerrill
All too often it's easy to ignore the heart issues we face if our children are just barely staying within the lines of our instruction. "at least they're quiet" or "it's not really disobedience" etc, can be excuses we use. I recently blogged a tiny bit about this issue with my 4yo. Getting back to solid ground by remembering how crucial my role as authority in her life is. It's often so hard, and in many ways just plain inconvenient. But it's like you say, we are learning as we instill this in our little ones. What a blessing it is to be mother/teachers.
Thanks for sharing.
Apr. 14, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by 4sweetums
I just wanted to stop by and say how much I enjoy your blog. This entry was so touching to me as I struggle with this same thing with my goldilocks. Thank you for sharing.
Dawn
Apr. 15, 2007 - A timely lesson for me
Posted by bbullard
I have this same discussion quite often with my oldest, and it is more specifically about my authority. Why is it that I can say something that goes largely ignored, but someone else can say the same thing, and it comes across as wisdom on high?
I hope all is well with you, Matt, and the girls. I didn't read down through the blog, but do you know what you're having? God bless.
