Our Busy Little World
Jul. 27, 2007 - Training In Free Time
Sometimes it's funny the things I find a need to teach my children. I never thought I would be "training" my girls to have free play time. Perhaps because our home runs so well on routines (which I think is a wonderful thing, and invaluable with so many little ones!), one area my children don't do so well with automatically is "free play". The past few weeks I'd been noticing that there was quite a bit of bickering, some children flopping about acting as if there was nothing to do, and other unpleasantries. I want my girls to cheerfully do what task they are given at a certain time, but I realized it would also be nice if I could tell them to play for awhile without having to give them an exact task to do. I wanted to see them learn a bit more independence and creativity, as well as harmony in their play since I know that they will probably have more "free" time as I'm resting with baby Alyssa. I also realized it would be good for me to not try to "control" every moment. So I decided we were going to try to learn these things together. Isabelle loves to have "alone time" - when she gets her room all to herself for awhile. I'm trying to make sure she has this time when she needs it, but I'm also seeking to teach her and the other girls to enjoy playing with (not just near) one another.
I usually have the girls doing some task (or playing in the playpen if it's Juliette) while I am cleaning up dishes or making meals (after they've helped with what I feel they're able to). But lately I've made extra effort to not give specific tasks and simply tell them they may play with sisters in a particular room or two (the one where I am, or where I can easily see or hear them to correct any difficulties). The first few days I felt like a referee, but I am happy to say that the skill of having free play time is being learned, however slowly and imperfectly. We've had talks about being happy (rather than "bored") with what toys and tasks God has made available to us. We've had talks about how playing together with sisters is far more fun than playing alone. We've had reminders to be friends to our sisters, rather than "enemies". I've found myself reminding one of my girls of a phrase my mom often said to me growing up: "you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" - meaning that if you want a sister to play a certain game with you, or share a certain toy, you're much more likely to have a happy result if you simply ask sweetly rather than try to force it. I've been spending quite a bit of time on the couch, with my feet up, watching my little brood of ducklings play around me. And I've enjoyed it, however unstructured it all is! If nothing else, it definitely shows me areas of character that need to be addressed and prayed for. I'm thankful God continues to show me such things in myself and my children - though it may not be easy I'm glad He continues to refine us!
Comments
Jul. 27, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by 4sweetums
I find free time to be the hardest time here. There is indeed alot of character training to do. I have the extra problem of a boy between two girls who just doesn't play the way they do. You know, he wants to call the play area a fort and they want it to be a castle. He wants to keep the mean dragon away and they want to have a tea party with the pretty dragon.
I am so blessed to be part of the adventure of learning with them.
Blessings,
Dawn
Jul. 28, 2007 - :o)
Posted by CountryAtHeart
Hello,
Go check out my Mom's blog she is having a contest... here's her link
http://lissilulu.blogspot.com/
-Tessa
Jul. 28, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
Enjoyed catching up! The girls are growing quickly! Wow only 15 days left..... praying for you.
Dawne
http://gentlelearning.blogspot.com
Jul. 28, 2007 - Hi
Posted by daredhead
I am enjoying reading your blog! I especially enjoyed reading the link to why you adopted. It is so well written. It completely put into words the reasons DH & I chose to adopt.
I'll certainly be checking back & reading up on your adventures with your kids.
May God richly bless you on this wonderful journey you have chosen to take...
Stacey
Jul. 29, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by momco3
I've had the same thought, about my children not knowing how to play without my direction. I'm stumbling through helping them learn it as well. Thanks for your insight into the process!
Blessings,
Annie
