This is the end of Jumoke's story...for us.  There will be no more updates that I'm aware of, since part of losing Jumoke is that we will have no contact with him for a very long time.  If he is adopted by someone we know, then we will have the privilege of watching him grow up. But it will no longer be my privilege to record his growing.  That honor will belong to his mother.

A few weeks ago we put a site meter on this blog.  Over the weeks, we've seen that many people in our nation and around the world...across the United States, Canada, The United Kingdom, Australia, and Singapore.....were reading regularly and, we hoped, praying.   Every town, state, and country that was listed on our site meter became more than just names of places...they became representatives of people who are friends and who might just be praying for us.

To all of you, thank you. Thank you for your emails, cards, and phone calls that encouraged us and taught us things we didn't know before. Thank you for reading. For hoping with us. And for maybe crying with us. And for sure, thank you for praying for us.

Some day, if things go well with Jumoke, I want to be able to give him this journal. Maybe an edited version. Maybe just the whole thing the way it is.  I want him to know what a terribly difficult choice this was for us and how torn we were. And how much we love him.

I turned off the comment option on this blog sometime back.  Today I'm opening it back up.  I'll save the comments along with the blog entries.  I'd like to remember who our friends were during this difficult time. I'd like Jumoke to know that folks were praying and reading and thinking of him...and us.

I don't know how much more I will use this blog. Perhaps to record memories when I need to.  I don't want to use it as a place to purge my emotions when the moments of missing Jumoke become overwhelming...and there will be little left after today other than that.

Thank you for reading and for walking with us and praying for us. And you moms of radishes that emailed me and called me:  You will never know the enormous encouragement you have been to me.  It was you that the Lord used to keep my head above water when I began to give up and slip below the surface. It was your words and your sharing of your lives that convinced me I wasn't mad.

From Tim:  Right or wrong, the hardest part of this whole thing has been telling people the things you know about your boy and having people say back to you "Yeah but...".  My hope is that God will reveal Truth to Jumoke's new parents, whether they recieve it from us or not.  I say that, not to be vindicated, but because I am concerned, based on my perception of people's responses, that Jumoke's condition will be ignored and he will not be healed as God wills him to be.  And that's my desire for Jumoke...that he will be whole.

dissolution  adoption  disruption   RAD  attachment disorder  reactive attachment disorder