Apr. 15, 2009 - Seeing God's Hand
Tonight during Bible Study, Papa asked us to share an instance that we were unable to see God's hand at the time, yet looking back it is obvious that God was working.
My Tommy and I had only been married a short while, a week or two really, when he prayed that God would be in control of our family size. It just seemed logical to us. Before we were married we prayed that God would be in control of our relationship, that He would be in control of my Tommy's deciding which branch of the service to join, that He would be in control of when we were to marry. Then once married we prayed that He would be in control of our marriage, our finances, our home. It only seemed logical that He would control how many and when we were to have children. It seemed awfully silly that we would even think of taking the building of a LIFE away from the very Creator of all life.
We worried that our families would think that it wasn't a good idea to have children when we were still so young ourselves, having gotten married at only 19. We talked a lot about how we would tell them. It is funny really, looking back, how we just assumed we would get pregnant right away. Now I realize that we weren't REALLY trusting God with our family size, merely trusting that He would provide for the baby that would certainly come right away.
Six months into our marriage I suffered through several extremely painful ovarian cysts rupturing and hemorrhaging. We were told that we would never be able to conceive naturally and would most likely miscarry if by some fluke we did conceive. They offered several medical options and asked when we wanted to start. We just kind of looked at them as if they were from another planet. We left the doctor’s office more confused than when we walked in.
It was difficult, but we quickly decided that if leaving our family size up to God meant that we were to have no children whatsoever then we would pray about adopting and for God’s will to be done. I won’t lie to you. It was hard. I remember talking to a dear friend on the phone about it. I told her that I felt useless to the Kingdom. She told me that my ministry was to my family. I asked what family? We were living on an Air Force base 4 ½ hours from home. My only family was my Tommy. Shortly after that we were hit with some news that would change our lives forever.
My Tommy was adopted and his biological mother called his adoptive father who told us that he would need to have a colonoscopy to determine whether or not he needed to have his colon removed. We were beyond shocked. He was only 19! It seemed absurd that he could have colon cancer. Even though we were doubtful we set up the appointment with the GI on base. He was just as skeptical as we were. He only agreed to the colonoscopy to appease us. On the day of the colonoscopy the doctor told us that the procedure would be 20 to 45 minutes. After an hour and a half I started to worry. There were no nurses around to ask. Two hours went by. Three hours. Finally after four and a half hours a nurse emerged from somewhere to let me know that they were finally taking him into recovery.
When the doctor came into the room he was ashen white and visibly shaking. He said that he had never seen anything like it before. My Tommy had so many polyps that they we laying just hundreds on top of hundreds, like sand paper. There is no way that he could have removed them all so he just removed the largest most threatening looking ones and that was what took so long. The doctor recommended that my Tommy go to a specialist at Bethesda Naval Hospital. A few months of going back and forth from MD to NJ and we finally had the surgery scheduled for May 18th 2001, we had now been married for a year and a half.
One week after his surgery date was scheduled we found out that only by the grace of God we were expecting. We were beyond thrilled, words could not describe the blessed elation that we felt. We walked around for weeks in a completely giddy stupor.
Eventually it was time to head back to MD for his surgery. It was a string of long days that turned into long nights of recovery in and out of the hospital. When we were able to go back home to NJ, he had still another month of taking it easy at home before he could return to full duty. He was so thankful to be back to work where he felt he belonged. He came home after his first day and crumpled to the couch completely bent in two. I asked him what was wrong and he said that he didn’t know but he hurt so badly that he couldn’t move and could barely talk. I asked if he wanted to go to the hospital and he said no. I prayed that if he really needed to go to the hospital that God would make it clear and help my Tommy not to be stubborn.
A couple of hours later and he gave in and had me drive him to the hospital. On the way there we had to stop a few times because he started vomiting bile. When we got to the hospital we had to wait for the on call Air Force doc to get to the civilian hospital. Oh, what a blessing he was. A wonderful Christian man and fabulous doctor, he took such care of both of us. After a few tests he told us that there was so much scar tissue from my Tommy’s first surgery that the scar tissue had completely strangulated his small intestine causing a blockage. This meant yet another surgery.
We were so blessed with a wonderful church family that came and stayed with me that long night. I can’t describe what their presence did for me.
After he was released from the hospital, my Tommy needed to take paper work to his First Shirt who promptly looked at him and told him that he looked like he had just been let out of a concentration camp. That recover was much quicker and easier. He only needed two weeks until he went back to work which was again a miracle, given only by God alone. Two months after that was 9-11-2001. My Tommy was as strong as ever and working 19 hour days for 37 days straight.
So what does all of this have to do with God’s hand? If it had been OUR WILL, not the will of God, we would have gotten pregnant immediately after we were married. Now after having been a mother for seven and a half years it is so obvious to me that had we been blessed with a child I would not have been able to be there for my Tommy in the capacity that he needed me while he was recovering. There is no way I would have been able to be the helpmeet I was designed to be, had we taken the reigns from our All Knowing, Providential, God that is faithful and true always.
Comments
Apr. 16, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by bbullard
What a beautiful testimony. I stopped by because I was intrigued by your blog name. Boy, was I blessed to read this. Unfortunately, we hadn't given that part of our lives over to the Lord and took matters into our own hands. I sometimes wonder if we missed God in our decision, but His grace has been more than sufficient, and he's blessed our three amazingly. I pray that He will continue to bless and honor your willingness to put Him and His will first.
Apr. 17, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Tina Jewel
That was a wonderful testimony! Something similar happened to us also.
Apr. 20, 2009 - Neat
Posted by basketflat
Neat story. God is always faithful, it's so wonderful and faith building to look back and see His strong and definite hand.
Cathy
Jun. 8, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by lexi
God does know what He is doing. I don't know why it's so hard to trust sometimes. You have such an amazing story and testimony! Thank you for sharing!
