I have started running again. Even in the Texas heat, I have to get some exercise or I get really high strung and generally intolerant of toddlers. Like a an old cat in a closet full of chihuahuas, I get a little edgy. So I run. Here is a picture of me running:
As I was running last night, I found that it was easier to run downhill than it is to run uphill. Gravity and lack of fitness combine to make uphill running less happy for my legs and lungs. Let's face it, downhill is more fun.
I would like to run a marathon someday, but one of the things that concerns me is that there is bound to be some uphill running involved. Maybe a lot, especially if the people that plan the route are what I like to refer to as "Richard Simmons aerobic psychopaths."
With this in mind, I am beginning the search for the first ever Downhill Marathon. Yes, 26.2 miles of nothing but downhill slopes and more downhill slopes. Instead of challenging myself to be all I can be, I will be just slightly less than everything I want to be, and be what I am: A gifted downhill runner.
Downhill running, now there's a thought. However, looking on the bright side is overrated. It's smarter to look on the practical side. The bright side says, "Downhill running--I can do that!" The practical side says, "Downhill running is like uphill running. Gravity takes it's toll. Hm. I think I'll watch running on T.V. They run during football. I'll watch football."
There is a maxim related to gravity that says, "What goes up must come down." I'm writng a new maxim. Everyone already knows it; I'm just writing it down. "What goes down fast must come down faster. And harder. Blood is often involved."
Speaking of coming down, a group from our church just did a downhill mountain bike ride. They rode a tram to the top, then biked down. They do this every year at our church camp-out. There is no reason--they just do.
One young man had a safe and sucessful ride down the mountain. Then removed his helmet before riding back into camp. At the entrance station he went over a speed bump. The front tire came off his bike, sprawling him all over the pavement. He broke his collar bone--for the third time--and banged his head.
Beware of gravity.
Watch out for speed bumps.
Wear helmets at all times. This is highly advisable, although it does make shampooing difficult.
Consider these things carefully before you launch your downhill run.
Thanks to Pondhaven, I have a new sponsorship idea! We can issue helmets and knee pads to those that fear the dreaded "stop, drop, and roll." I am think that a mild downward slope would be best. I don't want anyone to fall down a mountain (particularly myself).
Maybe we should have a qualifier for the race, like walking down a flight of stairs safely?
Wait! I have never lived in Texas, but I have visited 5 times and I've never seen a HILL in Texas. You may not have to worry about a marathon with a hill in Texas. But, you should be prepared.
Of course, you could easily employ my method (cheaper and easier on the knees than running) of dealing with a preschooler and teenager (a combustive combination)...marathon Cheetos eating.
Beware of your knees. I can't run downhill for very long unless I'm looking to sport a good smear of road rash. Looking for the ultimate marathon and dream vacation? Check out the Royal Victoria Marathon on Vancouver Island, BC. It's in October each year, beautiful place to visit and the route is mostly level (sorry, it doesn't fit in with your downhill dreams!).
Take care in the heat!
Meretta ( merettapater.blogspot.com )
First off, let me say that I am totally impressed by the fact that a dad is blogging about homeschooling. My husband is very helpful, loves the idea of adding lots and lots of books to our bookshelves for no apparent reason, and is otherwise generally supportive, but there's no way he would actually talk about it.
Second. I think your idea of running a downhill marathon sounds great. I think even I could handle that, or at least a mini-marathon.
Like a toddler in a snowstorm, I am somewhat interesting and somewhat frightening to behold. I write simply because I can, but also to give my wife a break from the witty reparte. I am the proud husband to the bravest person I know (Mrs. Underdog). As the father of five tenacious, awe-inspiring children (the Pups #1-5), I am yours truly: the Underdog.
