I probably went a little too far the other day, but I think sometimes that is the only way you find out what "too far" really is with your kids.   Daniel was strugggling with a puzzle - a 100-piece puzzle starring his favorite superhero, Spiderman - and when he was 2/3 done he got so frustrated he swept it all into the box.  This came after numerous gentle, well-placed suggestions from me on how best to go about completing the puzzle.  He ignored those and insisted on doing it his way, and then focused on two particular pieces and fitting them in.   So like some deranged, perfection-obsessed mom I told him I really wanted him to finish the puzzle and despite his ranting and raving I stood fast. 

What I wanted him to learn was that all he had to do was follow some basic verbal directions and he'd get where he wanted to go.  I know that this is a weak point for him,.  Yet I felt it very important for him to understand that as mom/teacher/guide I really DO know best most of the time and that while his ideas are important, there are times he needs to give up control and just let someone else tell him how to do something so he can see if it works - like when they have far more experience at it than you do.  This is an area in which he has a very difficult time. DH and I joke privately that Daniel would be happiest if everyone just did as he told them to, and if the world in general cooperated with his wishes.  Or if he were Donald Trump LOL.

The end result was that after much whining, some crying, and a fit or two, he finally dragged out the puzzle and finished it in under an hour.  He followed directions beautifully, and hopefully he learned something.  I second guess myself of course, but hopefully he learned the intended lesson.  Time will tell, I guess.  If it's any indication, he did a 60-piece puzzle the next morning