Even though I have done this five times already, I still can't believe my body is going to stretch to such gigantic proportions. I can't believe I'm going to get bigger than I am now. I am HUGE. I am only 2 months along and look like I did at 5 months with my firstborn. It's crazy. It's not like I'm eating all that much or gaining weight in undesirable places ... it's all belly. It's too much. If I am this big now, how big will I be at 9 months? I think I will explode before I can safely give birth.

A couple months ago, before I knew I was pregnant, I started feeling dizzy and lightheaded all the time. I also started craving salt. Salted boiled eggs, salted fried eggs, salted french fries, salted popcorn, salted mashed potatoes. I didn't put two and two together but instead, once I found out I was pregnant, thought I better cut back on salt because I didn't want to raise my blood pressure. I've known too many women who suffered from high blood pressure during pregnancy and I did not want to go through what they went through. But last night while I was thinking about my last labor & delivery, it hit me with a big "DUH!" ~ I have LOW blood pressure! I've always had low blood pressure, especially during pregnancy. I researched low blood pressure during pregnancy, and symptoms are dizziness and faintness, exactly what I had been experiencing. And guess what is recommended? Increase salt intake! So for once my food cravings were actually for something I needed at that time! Hmmm ... wonder if there is any medical reason I was craving lemon meringue pie and barbeque-flavor Fritos a couple weeks back?

Oh, and a major cause of low blood pressure is dehydration - I am chronically dehydrated, it seems, especially during pregnancy. I KNOW I do not drink enough water, but I have to force myself to drink as much as I do!

Forget morning sickness - I have "evening sickness" instead! I feel just fine in the mornings. In fact, *most* mornings I am able to wake up at a decent time and jump right into the day. By lunchtime I am ready to collapse, though! (So I am not sure I will make it to my church's outreach event tomorrow - it's right at my naptime, and in the hot sun! I *so* want to get more involved in outreach & other church events, but it seems like the timing is always bad!) After a nap, I feel fine until dinnertime, and then ... it hits. Oh, I feel so awful every evening! But I am not the type to have vomiting during pregnancy (or any other time, for that matter) so I am very thankful for that.

Now I have to decide where to go for my appointments. There is a new OB-GYN's office just down the road (the only one in this area of the county), so it would be quick & easy to go there. I could schedule my appointments for first thing in the morning, so Billy could watch the little kids before work ... or I could drop Billy off at work and go anytime of day and expect the big kids to watch the little kids. It wouldn't be that long. The downside is I would be seeing an OB instead of a midwife, and I would have to deliver at the same hospital where Taz & Littlebit were born. Not a great experience either time.

~OR~ I could drop Billy off at work, then the little kids off at my SIL's house (20-25 minute drive) and then drive to the midwives office another 20-25 minutes past that. I used this team of midwives with Sweetcheeks, and I *loved* them! The entire office staff was so friendly. I loved the hospital I delivered her at. It was just all around a great experience. BUT ... that's a very long drive, and with gas prices so high, and homeschooling upper grades now ... I just don't see that working out so well.

I am going to have to wait a while before I can go anywhere, anyway. Billy just started his new job and we still don't have insurance. I am not sure if they are even going to offer insurance or how expensive it will be. Oh well, I am healthy and I am low-risk so I guess it's safe to wait!

UPDATE: I talked to Billy and it turns out there is NO insurance at his new job!

It never fails ... as soon as I am done selling or giving away every last bit of maternity clothing and baby clothing and baby gear I own, I find out I am pregnant!  This is the 3rd time this has happened. You'd think I would learn and just keep everything locked away in storage or something! LOL! But I just don't see the point in keeping things I don't *think* I'll need again, when other people can use them in the meantime.

Well this is a bad time for *us* to be getting ready for a new baby, but it's the perfect time for God. I am viewing this pregnancy as a time when God can show His sovereignity (sp?), His grace and mercy, and His provision. I'm totally counting on Him for everything. My pastor touched on something Sunday at church, about always trying to "help" God and I have to admit I am guilty of that. Not that I think God needs my help, but it's more like a works-based idea of grace, like what can *I* do to make sure this turns out okay? It's hard for me to just sit back and do nothing, letting God do everything. I guess I have the false doctrine of "God helps those who help themselves" stamped firmly onto my soul.

Jer 17:5 (NIV) This is what the LORD says: "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD."

Prov 28:26 (NIV) He who trusts in himself is a fool...

We're all still in a state of disbelief. With a 15yo, I feel way too old to have another baby, though I know there are women who have babies even after their first grandchildren are born. Littlebit asked if we were going to "buy it at the store". Sweetcheeks and Taz both looked immediately at my abdomen expecting it to be huge all of a sudden. Taz is already trying to come up with boy names and bedroom arrangements.

Physically, I feel great. I feel better than I've felt in the past 3 years. It's like whatever happened to me over the past three years to make me so sluggish and constantly fatigued has been reversed.

And I'm guessing the due date would be in March sometime.

I don't remember any of it. The end.

No, really, I hardly remember it at all, because I slept through most of my labor!

My pregnancy with Sweetcheeks was easy. Except for the fact that at my 20-week ultrasound, I was diagnosed with partial placenta previa, there were no complications of any kind. I went back at 27 weeks for another ultrasound, and the placenta had risen to its proper location. The only "problem" was that she was late, by nearly 2 weeks if I remember correctly (unlike my other 4 children who were all born well before their due dates).

So on June 27 I *finally* started having sporadic labor pains. Billy and I took the kids to my parents house, hoping this was the real thing. My midwives wanted me to go to the hospital (45 minutes away) as soon as labor started, considering how fast the last one went. Unfortunately, Sweetcheeks decided to take her time coming out, and I was in the hospital laboring overnight. They gave me an epidural fairly early in my labor, dimmed the lights, and let me drift in and out of sleep all night. They did wake me up once to break my bag of waters, because labor was progressing so slowly. Otherwise they were very hands off and it was a very pleasant experience. And the nurse I had most of the time was Messianic and was just great to talk to and be with. I'm sure she was praying over me as well.

This was the only pregnancy where I didn't see a doctor at all, but instead used a team of three midwives - who were THE BEST! The attending midwife FINALLY showed up right before it was time to deliver. At least that's what I remember; like I said I slept most of the time and hardly remember a thing! Sweetcheeks was born at 5:59 AM on June 28, 2002. She was 21 inches long and weighed 7 lbs, 5 oz. She had a very round face and a head full of dark brown hair. She was still covered in that greasy, cheesy vernix, and had fragile looking skin, but was otherwise very pink.

And she is still very pink - at least everything about her is pink. She is a very feminine little girl who loves all things pink, pretty, lacey, sparkly, swirly, glamorous, and princessy. For being the first girl after 3 boys, she did not disappoint. She is a huge blessing!

Happy 5th birthday, Sweetcheeks!

I’ve made a point over the past year or so to try to write down each of my children’s birth stories for them on their birthdays. Today is my firstborn’s 15^th birthday, so here’s his birth story.

I may have some of the details confused – this was a long time ago!

My due date was March 30, and my husband was due to fly in to Tampa on March 28. He was newly stationed at Coleman Barracks in Mannheim, Germany – his first assignment since completing boot camp and AIT at the age of 18. His grandmother, Maude, had offered to drive me to the airport to pick him up, so my parents drove me to her house in Tampa that afternoon to wait, then they went back home. We took 2 separate cars, so that Billy would have a car to drive us back home. At about 4:30, I was getting up from the sofa when I slipped and fell on the floor. I felt a very sharp pain in my abdomen, like something I had never felt before. Somehow I knew labor was starting. Sure enough, I started having contractions every 20 minutes.

Finally it was time to drive to the airport. When Billy came to the car, Maude told him we might have to drive straight to the hospital! But I knew I wasn’t far enough along yet so we went back to her house for a visit, and then Billy and I drove back to my parents’ house for the night. We didn’t get much sleep. All of my labor pain was in my back – it was SO miserable! Early the next morning, we decided to go ahead and drive up to the hospital at MacDill AFB. They checked me and sent me home, telling me to walk around some to get the labor moving. But by the time we got back home (it was a 45 minute drive), my contractions were coming much faster, so my mom drove me right back.

They checked me and decided I was ready this time. They put me in a room and proceeded to micro-manage my labor for me. They gave me an ultrasound (we still didn’t know the baby’s gender), an I.V. line, and oxygen. Billy hated to see me with the oxygen mask - and now that I think of it 15 years later, I realize that it must have reminded him of his dad, who had died of lung cancer 2 years earlier.

Now here’s where I’m confused – either Billy left then, and went back home to sleep, thinking it was still going to be a while, or all this happened the first time, and he stayed home when my mom drove me back.

Anyway, the point is that Billy was at home sleeping. Good thing for him it was such a dreadfully slow labor. They broke my water for me to speed things along. My contractions finally started coming more quickly. I was so miserable. My mom said that I was yelling at them to make it stop! My mom called the house and told my little brother (he was about 14 or 15 at the time) to wake Billy up and tell him to come back to the hospital. When Billy got up, he called the hospital, and the nurse gave him the impression that it was going to be a while. So he leisurely made his way up to MacDill, stopping at McDonald’s along the way.

In the meantime, the nurses decided I could use something for the pain. They told me Demerol wouldn’t make the pain go away but that it would take the “edge” off the pain. Though I had wanted to go completely drug-free, I consented. They told me it would take 5 minutes to kick in.

When Billy finally got to the hospital, he went to the room he remembered me being in. He didn’t know they had moved me into a different room, and he walked right in to see another woman actively giving birth! As he was being directed to my new room, my doctor was giving me an episiotomy and was using a vacuum extractor to “help” me give birth. It was only 5 minutes after the Demerol was given to me.

Our firstborn, a son, was born at 12:35 PM on Sunday, March 29, 1992. His cord was wrapped around his neck but they got it unwrapped without any problems. He weighed 7 lbs, 1 oz. and was 21 ½ inches long. He also had a big purple spot (hemangioma) on the back of his head from the vacuum. It would last until he was 5, we were told. And it did. It always reminded me of a little yarmulke.

And then, finally, Billy walked in the room. He missed the birth by minutes. I was SOOOOO mad at him! That’s why I wouldn’t let him leave my sight when our 2nd child was born! I have to admit that I didn’t know what to do with the baby when he was born. I just let the nurses take him so I could rest. Then later the nurses let me walk back to the nursery to see him. The very first thing I noticed was his BIG feet! I couldn’t get over those feet. He still has big feet – the same size as his dad’s and still growing!

Originally posted January 22, 2006

We learned I was pregnant with LittleBit right after we sold our old house.  We had just moved into my parents' old house with my little brother while we were waiting for our new house to be built. It was supposed to only take 5 months, so we *should* have been in the new house with plenty of time to spare before LittleBit was born. It did NOT work out that way, but that will be another post, another day.

I was totally and completely EXHAUSTED throughout the pregnancy. It was like chronic fatigue syndrome or something, it was so bad. Add to that living in that house (which I had previously loved, yet grew to hate while living there due to the high maintenance), living with my little brother (who is single and childless and stays up really late and gets up really late and is a type A personality), having a grouchy old neighbor who hated us, having a dog that I hated (unfortunately we still have THAT problem), and all the delays on the new house ... it was a very bad, very long nine months.

I had an interesting last few weeks of pregnancy with LittleBit. At 34 weeks she was in an oblique position. At 35 weeks, I suddenly had boatloads of energy ... I was nesting and got a bunch of packing done for our upcoming move. She had turned and everything looked good except that she was still rather small. At 36 weeks she hadn't gained an ounce and had stopped moving. I had to go to the hospital for monitoring and the doctor talked about "taking her" the next morning. After further testing, he let me go home, but scheduled an induction for January 27. I was SO relieved ... I had packing to do in the meantime! At 37 weeks she still hadn't grown or moved or kicked or anything so I had to go back to the hospital for even further testing. Then at 38 weeks, after 3 weeks of high energy for me and no growth or movement from her, things changed again. I was back to being tired. She was back to moving. She gained a little weight.

It was funny, but those 3 weeks were scary to the doctor, yet refreshing for me. LittleBit rested for those three weeks so I could rest from my fatigue. So I could feel delight in my pregnancy, so I could get all of our stuff packed, so I could prepare for her arrival. Thank you, LittleBit! I love you!

On Saturday, January 22, I had big plans. Billy was starting his new semester at college that day, and I was going to clean the car and install the car seat. (Hey, those are big plans when you're 9 months pregnant!) Mucus was my first sign that I was in labor, but I wasn't *sure* I was in labor so Billy went off to college. Right after that, at 9:13 AM, my water broke. Since the one and only other time my water had broken naturally and before contractions had started was with Taz, which was a QUICK labor, I thought it might be best to go ahead and go to the hospital.

SO, I called Billy on his cell phone and he told his professors that his wife was in labor so he would have to miss the first class. One teacher was cool about it but the other teacher WOULDN'T LET HIM GO!!! She really could care less that her student's wife was in labor. Made no difference to her; he needed to stay in class, regardless. But he went anyway, of course!

Turns out it was a big mistake to go to the hospital right away. Because of the "problems" I had supposedly had during those last few weeks, they hooked me up to a bunch of machines, which meant I had to lay down in bed. Which meant labor took longer than neccessary. And was more painful than neccessary.

I was asked if I wanted an epidural. The contractions weren't that bad so I said I would wait. Then, without my knowledge or consent, they gave me pitocin. I realized what they did when my contractions suddenly went from managable and coming every 15 minutes, to totally unbearable and every 5 minutes.

THEN I wanted an epidural, in a big way. BUT, I had to wait for a VERY long time, because I had to "get hydrated" first. I had to wait until someone came with a bag of fluid for the IV. Then I had to wait for them to hook it up. Then I had to wait for it to hydrate me. Then I had to wait while they called the anesthesiologist. (Why hadn't they called him while I was being hydrated?!) Then I had to wait for him to come. If you've never had pitocin (that was my first and ONLY experience with it) you have no idea how EVIL the stuff is.

So eventually, FINALLY, I get the epidural. Then I was okay for a while. Then my/LittleBit's blood pressure went down. So they had to give me something for that. I have never in my life been hooked up to so many machines before. It was totally ridiculous. I wanted to just rip out all those wires and walk around so I could have the baby already. Then I went into transition and I was HOT. I thought I was going to die. I was hot and it was all I could do not to pass out. Finally that passed and I went into active labor and gave birth to LittleBit at 4:13 PM.

I remember this horrified look on Billy's face when she came out. I'm thinking, "What? Is she ugly or deformed or something?" Turns out I lost a LOT of blood. It just all went gushing out. I had no clue.

She was all covered in blood and she was SO tiny to me, just over 6 lbs. The rest of mine were between 7 & 7 1/2 lbs. It's amazing what that 1 pound looks like on a newborn baby! She cried and cried, until she heard her daddy's voice, and then she calmed down. She was calm and content as long as she heard her daddy's voice.

Once home, she slept a LOT and didn't want to nurse. It took me 2 long, agonizing weeks to finally get her to learn how to latch on. I really don't how how she survived those first couple of weeks. But at 2 weeks old, she started nursing well AND sleeping through the night.

HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY, LITTLEBIT!!!