As home school parents, we have been given the awesome privilege and responsibility of caring for something infinitely precious: our children’s hearts.  With God’s help, we must faithfully know, encourage, nurture, guard, mend, guide, train, and woo and love their hearts.  This doesn’t happen naturally.  It takes attention and effort.

        If we want to minister to our children’s hearts, we must know our children’s hearts.  And if we want to know them, we need to listen strategically.   We need loving and calm one-on-one time enjoying each other and ministering to each other, not just reacting to discipline issues.  I want to notice all of the “evidences of grace” where God is working in my children’s lives, but I also want to be aware of anything that might be bothering them – before it gets out of control.  I think that parents often breathe easy when everything looks halfway normal and there aren’t any major crises going on.  But beneath the surface, there might be a child facing any number of situations, such as bitterness over conflicts, jealousy about not getting as much attention as wanted, lack of trust for God’s care, a guilty conscience, a superiority attitude, feelings of depression or inadequacy, lack of motivation, peer pressure, spiritual apathy, etc..

        Our children are changing constantly. They are not where they were or where they will be.  We can’t make assumptions that all is well just because we are a Christian family and we home school our children.   Some of our friends have been in complete shock to discover what is going on in their children’s lives when they thought things were going just fine.  I grieve for these families – and I realize no one is immune, and it could just as well be me and mine.

        We also need to be very alert about spiritual warfare.  The enemy is whispering in our children’s ears.  We need to constantly bring forth the truth of Scripture, be aware of where they are spiritually, what they are thinking, any deception going on in their minds, and PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!  The devil wants to bring dissension and doubt, and make us fight each other.  Don’t fight with your child – fight FOR your child!  Teach your child to put on his spiritual armor as described in Ephesians 6!  It may help to write out some short phrases on an index card, such as, “I am a Christian.  I love the Lord Jesus.  I believe the Word of God.  I have authority when I pray.” 

        Another thing to ponder is that little ones may respond in a childlike faith to the Gospel message, but not really truly understand it until much later.  Is it wise to assume that they are “saved” just because they repeated the sinner’s prayer after you or were baptized?  How will you deal with doubts later on?  At some point in time, our children need to consciously affirm the faith as being their very own.  This may not happen until the teen years, even with faithful teaching and example from the parents and church.  Many pastors we have known have told us this is true even in their own families, so don’t feel like you are unspiritual.  It is better for this to come to light, rather than for a child to dwell in the false assurance that he is a Christian just because his parents are. This is actually a great opportunity for teaching your teen in a very purposeful and positive (non-judgmental) way what the Christian message is all about. There are all sorts of great “apologetics” books out there that explain the truth for young people, such as the youth editions of Lee Strobel’s books The Case for Faith, The Case for Christ and The Case for the Creator.  One book that clearly addresses the issue of “making the faith your own” is Growing Up Christian by Karl Graustein.   Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis, Know Why You Believe by Paul Little, Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ by John Piper and any books by Jerry Bridges will also be helpful.  I think every teen should read these books!  Along with Bible reading and some essay writing, these can count towards a semester high school course in Bible.  All of these books are available from www.ChristianBook.com.  You may also wish to read this article by Grant Layman: http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/sgo/v20no3/parents_and_teens.html

        Finally, in order to care for our children’s hearts, we need to care for our own.  “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” (Proverbs 4:23, NIV).  What is in our hearts will flow forth as rivers to impact those around us -- our children, our church, our neighbors, and the world. Will our wellsprings be pure or polluted?  Guard against bitterness, guard against apathy, guard against self-righteousness, guard against discouragement, guard against impurity, guard against deception, GUARD YOUR HEART!  Don’t skip your quiet times to “get on with the school day.”  Feed on Scripture.  Persevere in prayer.  Confess and repent when you sin.  Pursue righteousness, peace and humility in your relationships.

        May God bless you richly as you care for your child’s heart!